Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Things you shouldn't say to another mum you have only just met

258 replies

emkana · 15/01/2006 19:32

"I have just gone back to work after four years as a SAHM, about time, too, your brain just goes soft when you're at home all the time."

Said this mum at a b/day party to my friend and me... my friend has been a SAHM for seven years, me for nearly five years, we both have no immediate plans to return to work.
We didn't really take offence, I just thought it was funny, there are just some things I wouldn't say if I wasn't sure about the cirumstances of the people I was talking to.

OP posts:
nickiey · 17/01/2006 16:52

On booking in for the early induction of my DS follwing the stillbirth of my DD 8 mmonth earlier-the midwife booking my in was the same shitty midwife who was assigned to me during my labour with DD. I had had a water birth planned with DD at home but with DS had to be in hospital becasue of the early induction.

midwife to me - are you booking another water bitrh or is that just tempting fate"

On the safe arrival of my beautiful DS my nan sends a card -"the birth of your first child is so special"

Lacrimosa · 17/01/2006 16:53

Matonic,LOL nearly fell off my chair! My dd and ds both have curly hair I hate it when people say 'is it natural?' My usual reply would be 'no I f@*%£ng make the hairdresser smother him/her in chemicals !'

Hausfrau · 17/01/2006 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickiey · 17/01/2006 16:57

mini hijack

Hausfrau where do you live in Germany, we recently moved back to the UK from Darmstadt

pumpkin7 · 17/01/2006 16:58

After having ds2 my dh commented on how quick and easy it had been, not painful at all and he didnt know why women make such a fuss. Thing is he was asleep for most of it I only woke him when I had leave for hospital and ds2 arrived 20mins later.

prairiemuffin · 17/01/2006 17:40

a nurse to me after I miscarried one of twins and was in physical pain and asking for some analgesics..

'I don't know what you're making such a fuss about, one baby is quite enough, and you've already got your hands full with your other two kids.'

mummytosteven · 17/01/2006 17:41

"in my country a baby that age who was that small would still be in hospital". waitress at local restaurant.

FrenchGirl · 17/01/2006 18:11

to me, from a woman who lived in France for years and now lives in UK: 'oh I avoid mixing with French people here, all they do is moan about the weather'

we are now very good friends!!!

cull · 17/01/2006 19:04

The morning after giving birth to my DS I was holding him as he slept, a nurse walked by, looked at us and said 'you'll spoil him!'

Or: during the birth (no pain relief BTW - there wasn't time!). I was making quite a lot of noise, ok, ok i was screaming as I pushed. The midwife says: 'don't scream like that or you'll have a sore throat tomorrow.'
My DH says I said (very politely) 'ok I'll try'
In my head there were a lot more swears!!

And finally: on enjoying the fact that I am thinner now than I have been in a decade my MIL says to me: 'oh but you'll put it all back on once you stop breastfeeding.'

Meanoldmummy · 17/01/2006 19:09

I screamed during labour I'm afraid...after 24 hours in agony, on a drip, having been wheelchair bound with SPD for six months and then made to give birth on my back so I didn't knock the drip out (I had pre-eclampsia and diabetes as well!) The midwife turned to me in horror and said "Sssshhhh....there's no need for all that noise...do you want to frighten that poor little baby?"

Meanoldmummy · 17/01/2006 19:13

The morning after I had DS1 I awoke covered in blood, having haemorrhaged after 24 hours in labour and been rushed to theatre with two third degree tears and a retained placenta. I was presented with a polaroid of my baby (who had been rushed to special care). Once I had ascertained that he was still alive, I intimated that I would like to see him but that I would need to go in my (hired) wheelchair to NICU as I had not walked for nearly six months and was feeling rather fragile. The midwife put her hands on her hips and said "You can't be selfish now, you've got a baby to think of. If you want to see him you'll have to walk". Which I attempted to do, and collapsed vomiting outside the midwives office. Served them right!!!

Issymum · 17/01/2006 19:27

Things not to say to another mum you've only met?

"Are they yours?" I frequently get this about my two SE Asian adopted DDs.

I always reply calmly "Yes" but I want to say "No, they just call me 'Mummy' because they can't remember my name."

This is sometimes followed by "Where do they come from?"

To which I always reply "Guildford".

Pagan · 17/01/2006 19:32

Have you started sha*ing yet or is your fa*y still store?

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 17/01/2006 20:00

anything that implies one child is a doddle, just you wait til you've got two type comments (especially in response to stated plans to have 3)ok so it might be true but there's really no point in saying it

babiesrcool · 17/01/2006 20:59

Reading through this thread I laughed at FB big ear comment. My friend has told me about a clip that can be put around infants heads to correct sticky out ears, (we were taking about my dd). I think my dd is the most beautiful little girl...She just has dh ears. I am still friends with the person that made the suggestion.

mummypumpkin · 17/01/2006 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edhj69 · 17/01/2006 21:39

don't worry those birthmarks can be removed by lasers

Pagan · 17/01/2006 21:42

tongue firmly in cheek MummyPumkin

Clayhead · 17/01/2006 21:42

'So, you'll be having his eyes done then'

No, there is no operation for what he's got.

'But X & Y had their children's eyes done'

Yes, they had different problems to ds.

'He'll hate you for it when he's older'

In the queue at the chippy of all places (would have left the old bag talking to herself had I not have been desperate for my chips!)

PEONY1318 · 17/01/2006 21:47

Things not to say to a first time mum, or first time mum to be - SIL pregnant at same time but three months ahead said 'Cor blimey your tummy's massive! I don't remember mine being that big!' FIL one week after birth 'You'll need to go on a diet soon as you still look about 5 months pregnant' - bl&*Y in laws.. now can laugh in their faces because against all miracles have actually lost pregnancy weight and can slip back into pre pregnancy size quicker than SIL (we're both same size). In your faces!

Aloha · 17/01/2006 21:51

mom - why ARE midwives so vile? I'd honestly love to know.

Pagan · 17/01/2006 21:53

"You can't call him that!!!! He'll never get a job when he's older and we're too embarrassed to tell our friends"

"Your scruffy child is a poor reflection of your parenting skills" (scruffy = hair in eyes)

by my FIL

calcium · 17/01/2006 21:54

women and men pointing to dd1 "isn't he sweet, it is a boy isn't it" (baby wearing pink????)

My best friend who always raves about how gorgeous her dd1 was as a baby saying to me about dd2 " she's got a lovely nature which makes up for her not being that pretty!" bloody cheek she's beautiful!!!

oh and as everyone else has said why oh why do people constantly ask are you having any more? like its any of their buisness and yes it is like saying "oh are you going to go home and shag your boyfriend tonight ?" ha ha...

Meanoldmummy · 17/01/2006 22:47

I don't know Aloha...maybe the uniforms are really itchy or something. I hope so, anyway

JenJam · 17/01/2006 23:13

me and my partner the day following the birth of our son: oooh our dear son has a very nasty rash. how can we tell the difference between meningitis and a nothing to worry about rash?

midwife to us: meningitis! where did you learn a big word like that?!!

err. is this the 1950s ?????

half expected her to slap me across the face for being insolent

Swipe left for the next trending thread