Things you shouldn't say to another mum you have only just met

[emkana]

"I have just gone back to work after four years as a SAHM, about time, too, your brain just goes soft when you're at home all the time."

Said this mum at a b/day party to my friend and me... my friend has been a SAHM for seven years, me for nearly five years, we both have no immediate plans to return to work.
We didn't really take offence, I just thought it was funny, there are just some things I wouldn't say if I wasn't sure about the cirumstances of the people I was talking to.

My mother when I got pg with ds2:
"you're disgusting you are, yes I know what you've been up to"

PMSL skinnypants!

That's like my mum on telling her I was pg (again) with DD "How did that happen then?"

Err, well, did no one ever tell you about the birds and bees...?

My dad, on day 4 (i.e. baby blues day), when I was still struggling with breastfeeding and baby hadn't stopped crying since delivery:

"Is nobody feeding you?!?"

Later that day:
(Indicating my jellybelly) "Got another one in there?"

My mother later pointed out to him that these gems did not qualify as "humour"

Message withdrawn

I hate that comment anytime your baby crys, "Oh are you hungry, mummy not feeding you?" Should say "Hold my bag then dear till I get my tits out"

This thread is great! baby due in may but here are a couple of MIL howlers -
(the week after being threatened by the dr with a stay in hospital for hyperemesis)
me (on point of collapse)" i think i'll just have a lie down for half an hour"
MIL "well i dont think that will help, you should try and keep as active and busy as possible..!!"

(at 12 weeks) MIL "so do you think you'll get the baby up, dressed and fed before yourself or after?you should really start thinking about a feeding routine you know..." (i repeat AT 12 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY???!!!)

speaking of mil classics...her to me when dd1 was 10 mo "have you started potty training yet??"

My MIL's favourite 'mine were potty trained from day 1!'

My mother (who for reference walked out on my sister and me when we were very small) last christmas 'do you think this house is healthy for your children (OK, so I'm not a fantastic housekeeper, but where the hell does she get off?) Needless to say, she wasn't invited this year....