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Original poster

Crikey - Guess what MIL has done now!

258 replies

smackapacca · 30/11/2011 15:42

Not only has she looked after my children whilst I have a day off as I'm a bit ill, but she's just TEXTED to say she'll drop them back later in their PJs ready for bed so I don't have to go and collect them.

Oh and she's had my dog all day too.

Sad

What kind of family did I marry in to??? What on earth should I do???

OP posts:
Original poster
smackapacca · 30/11/2011 21:56

Thanks - trying to stay strong :)

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 30/11/2011 21:58

HazelNutt - I feel your pain. MIL is from a totally different culture and she never made one single comment about DH marrying someone forrin'. Not once!! His whole family are the same. How dare they accept me and all my forrin- and different culture-ness with open arms. How very dare they!! Especially when they're a culture renowned for not liking 'marrying out'. It's downright insulting. Angry

Sidge · 30/11/2011 22:13

This thread really saddens me Sad

So many MILs causing such heartache.

BUT I am reassured to see I am not alone. My in-laws live 250 miles away but they visit when they can, bring gifts and food and take the girls out for walks and read and play with them whilst DH and I loaf around.

MIL makes her secret recipe German potato salad and makes a separate pot for me, leaving the onion out of mine as she knows it aggravates my IBS. I mean, WTF?

ShowOfHands · 30/11/2011 22:21

I'm sobbing with relief to know that others are experiencing the same traumas. I'm so sorry you're all going through it too but it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

MIL not only takes dd to school every day for me, she does my laundry. And not just washing it - you might want to look away now if you're of a sensitive disposition - she irons it too. I know, I know. I should stand up to her. But between taking me out for lunch and buying books for me because she 'saw it and thought of me', I can't imagine when to confront her. She doesn't even hide her behaviour. Compliments me out loud in front of dh. And fil? Don't get me started. Giving up his free time to help us do up the house? Bastard.

Original poster
smackapacca · 30/11/2011 22:22

(((un-MN Hugs))) all round

We need them

sniff

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UterusUterusGhali · 30/11/2011 22:35

It's a trial, ladies.

My beastly MiL will take the children at the drop of a hat to her house where she will feed them & everything.

She took them for a whole three days last week so DH & I could do some shopping and spend some time together. She then had the audacity, the sheer gall to cook us a roast dinner when we came to pick them up.

She's always been like this.

Why can't she be like my own mother who constantly criticises and shows no interest in us.Angry

UterusUterusGhali · 30/11/2011 22:41

I'm in tears too, Showy.

Original poster
smackapacca · 30/11/2011 22:49

Right ladies, it's been emotional but I must now go to bed and reflect on my future.

I think we could start a support thread... We could call it:

"But we didn't comment on the STATEofyourhomes"

Night all.

OP posts:
Birnamwood · 01/12/2011 09:16

My beef is with my mother. she is so controlling that she has to do my ironing every week, wt actual f? when I had ds2 she insisted on looking after ds1, visited me in hospital THE DAY HE WAS born then cooked me roast dinner just the way I like it when I got home. It,s beyond belief. she also likes buying little things like babygros and presents for the boys, even when it's not a special occasion. Dmil1 did the right thing and didn't bother with a present when ds2 was born and bought ds1 a bookmark, yes a bookmark, for his 3rd birthday. He was overjoyed with excitement with that one, so much so he posted it through the floorboards uses it everyday.

Dmil2 is even better, she waited 9 whole months before seeing ds1 for the first time to give time to settle in. She, too, doesn't believe in buying treats or presents as, quite rightly so, they spoil the child.

I wish my mother could be more like my dmil's, I really do don't

pinkbraces · 01/12/2011 09:32

I understand everyones pain, my dmil and dfil dared to move into our house for a week to look after the dog who is much to precious to go into kennels. They even took her to the park every day, and let her sleep on the bed.

Shame on them!

Dont get me started on how they treat their DSGC, exactly the same as their own DGC.

Dawndonnathatchristmasiscoming · 01/12/2011 09:41

It's getting worse. The twins birthday presents didn't arrive. She's only gone and replaced them and she's bringing them down to ensure they get them. It's all too much. She'll arrive with wine and food, too.

HippyHippopotamus · 01/12/2011 10:21

My mil is so awful that we're considering moving 300miles so that we're in the same town as her

HippyHippopotamus · 01/12/2011 10:41

Damn, just realised, she's going to want to spend more time with her dgc! Why on earth didn't i see through her cunning ruse?!

As it is, she visits us loads, brings presents for everyone, even me and i'm only her dil. Does she think she can buy my affection with thoughtful gifts?

Four4me · 01/12/2011 10:43

Omg all I can say is that you are all in my thoughts!

I have been through this too. For example my mil having previously planned to hog my dd1 yesterday so I could go and meet my bff lovely squishy newborn with my ds3. On discovering that ds1 and 2 wouldn't be at school she had the audacity to announce that I didn't need to cancel my plans but she would come at 9am collect all three of them, take them to her house, take them all on a long woodland walk, feed them a roast chicken lunch, do ds2 homework with him and finally bring them all home. To top it off she even helped cook their tea here while snatching off me the clingon 9 month old snot ball that ds3 is at present.

Am at a loss of how to deal with her!! And like others I can understand the worries about Christmas day. She says not to worry about the meal at all, I have just got to enjoy the day with the dc whilst she cooks and washes up.... Dh thinks I'm being totally unreasonable preferring to go there than my dp's. Sob sob......

StaceymAloneForver · 01/12/2011 10:52

oh can i join in the bashing i have a MIL to be who loves MY children even though they aren't not her GC and offers to babysit them so we can go out, even though she knows they go to their dads every other weekend and we get plenty of time alone!!

How dare she act like this, what can i do to change it?

She's going to expect me and DP to go there on xmas eve, go out with friends, stumble back, wake up xmas morning while she cooks xmas brekkie, and all i have to do is sit back drink and open presents!! I don't think I can stand the thought of it!!!

Jux · 01/12/2011 10:56

My heart goes out to you all. I hadn't really realised how lucky I had been with my MIL until I read this thread. Sadly she is so demented now that she has become much more like the dreadful MILs here. Oh how I miss the old days when she wasn't sweet.

Four4me · 01/12/2011 11:10

Stacey if she is only mil to be you still have time to escape, I'd advise you to wrap your arms around her waist and refuse to let go run for the hills!

Just remembered an awful conversation I had with my mil recently. Was discussing the problems my friend was having with her family. Anyway you'll never believe what she said to me 'well d44me I've never needed to interfere because I think you are a brilliant mum and the dgc are a credit to you' - I mean what a biiiiiiitttttch!!!

purplepidjin · 01/12/2011 12:47

My MIL and SIL are so terrible that they bought me a bread maker for Christmas last year. I had the audacity to admire theirs' and prefess an interest.

It has actually been bloody hard work not mentioning anything I'd like this year in case they bought it for me, either for my 30th last month or for Christmas.

SIL had the temerity to source a really good one off ebay for me an' all Angry

InsouciantSashayalaPanAm · 01/12/2011 13:09

I am actually crying reading this. You lucky cows poor things. Aren't they all just lovely?

becstarsky · 01/12/2011 13:36

You know the worst thing about these women? Not only do they inflict their own kindness interference on us, but they tend to also bring up their sons to be kind interfering and helpful respectful busybodying types too. So not only do I have to put up with MIL I also have to deal with the consequences of DH's upbringing. This leads him to do things like cooking me dinner, bringing me cups of tea in bed in the morning, thanking me for any tiny little thing I do for him and acting like I'm worthy of respect which is just such a total headf*

I just hope that I manage to do as good a job with DS as MIL did with DH I can break the chain of behaviour in this crazy family I married into...

OtterHumbug · 01/12/2011 13:43

I've just read this thread, and something has struck me. All these vile, interfering bitches use the same terms. Have you noticed?

"Your children are a credit to you."

"You do an amazing job."

"Your DH is lucky to have you."

It's like they are all reading from the same hand-book. My MIL was exactly the same. Constantly telling everyone who'd listen how wonderful I was. Shock

Evil, evil, evil. I hope that all of you still suffering at the hands of such women (and men) find the strength to break away.

Candid · 01/12/2011 13:47

Oh Purplepidjin my heart goes out for you! kind and generous horrible and interfering mil AND sil! How can you bear it?

empirestateofmind · 01/12/2011 14:01

I too have a dreadful MIL. She always spoils me rotten and treats me like a daughter. She has brought up her DS to be hard working, well mannered and kind. She is a devoted Grandma.

When we visit she insists on cooking us a roast dinner and she makes (divine) lemon meringue pie especially for me as she knows it is my favourite.

What on earth shall I do? Is there any hope?

springlamb · 01/12/2011 14:25

I knew I was in trouble long ago when I came out of hospital with a nastily infected C-section scar and feeling very poorly and the old bat brought all her nursing/midwifery experience and equipment to bear, and insisted on nursing me back to health. Every dressing change, every bit of pain relief, every cup of tea, chicken soup, scrambled egg. For days on end.
Then some years later when I came out of hospital, again with a fresh C-section scar but not infected that time, she had the temerity to be waiting for us at home, made us a cup of tea, then announced she was driving home immediately leaving us alone with our baby 'because you didn't get that last time because of all the fuss, you should enjoy it this time around'.
And she had done all the washing and ironing and changed the bed.
I was furious.

Original poster
smackapacca · 01/12/2011 14:28

Spring - you were right to be furious Angry

I hope you told her so, and sent her on her way!

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