AIBU to think that losing a cat is NOT the same as losing a husband?

[MummyDoIt]

Just had a conversation with a friend whose cat has been put down. Now, I'm a pet owner and have lost pets in the past so I'm well aware of how much they become part of the family and how you grieve for them when they die.

However, I was rendered speechless when friend said to me 'you know just how I'm feeling because it's the same as when your husband died.' Er no. No pet, no matter how well-loved, can possibly compare to a husband and father to your children. I know how I felt when my last cat died and I know how I felt when DH died and it was certainly NOT the same!

Moomin - it must have been a real shock to you all :( My Uncle, who I was really close to, died of a BH when I was 13. He'd been at ours only a couple of hours before - it was a huge shock. 'These things happen for a reason' - I think people really believe this will be of some comfort to you... how they think that is beyond me though :(

I think she was probably shocked, she asked me how the pregnancy was going, so was just being friendly.

I do think now that at least my dad wasn't in any pain. I worked in a nursing home for a lot of years so looked after people that were terminally ill and it was heartbreaking to watch people who were so ill and seeing the pain their families were going through

everlong I'm so sorry you lost your ds, I can't imagen how painful that must be for you. I hope you have people around to support you especially , it must be a very difficult painful time of year for you x

I am sorry for all of you who have lost husbands and children. I can't imagine what you are going through.

My grandmother lost her husband when she was only 50, she never looked at anyone else nor wanted too. She had had enough by the time she died in her late 70's.

My grandmother is the only family who ever cared about me and I lost her days before my baby was born. I need her more and more as time goes on and can only imagine it is a million times worse for those who have been widowed or lost children.

That made no sense, I mean especially now as it must be a difficult time of the year

Just come back to wish Everlong all the strength in the world to help her through the anniversary.
Losing a child in any circumstances is unimaginable even when they are no longer children. I'm sorry your sister was so insensitive. In many respects I imagine a few months after the event could be worse as everyone else starts to get back on witht heir lives and yours is still so shattered.

Oh everlong - I will be thinking of you Sunday.

It is nearly 5 years (in January) that my friend lost her son. He was just shy of his 20th birthday, was at university. I saw him at the Christmas, he seemed so happy and full of plans for the future. Nobody had any idea the pain he was in mentally. My friend is always very, very wobbly on the anniversary, understandably. I hope you other children have a lovely time at Horrible Histories, and I wish you well for the weekend.