If you're a WIIT and you know it post in here II

[AmandaCooper]

old thread here

We just pulled into "Other Subjects" station. Please have your tickets ready for inspection.

Felt slightly better last night, but feel a bit low again this morning. Some of the things DH said were actually quite hurtful & they have just sunk in. I was called selfish for not considering his feelings. Asked why I can't just be happy with what we have, which makes me feel like crap & a horrible horrible person for not feeling like my amazing DD is enough. And he accused me of adding to his stress by bringing it up again when he had just about stopped treading on eggshells! 3 months ago he (apparently) wouldn't have told me about our friend but he thought I was 'over it'!!! As far as my MS goes I think we are just going to wait and play it by ear. In a month things could be very different, that's how fluid things are around here right now. If there is no change by Xmas then I guess I'll go back on my meds :( It's all such a mess really, things with his work/our finances are on a knife edge. It's so close to being fine but at the same time one wrong move and everything could be very different. :(

SWI - fingers crossed that the BDD was erm...productive!!!

100 - No ideas here on a new thread title!

WTF?! Bebe that's nonsense and you know it. People have a second child because the first one does fulfil them, not because they're unhappy with their lot. It's only natural to want more love and happiness for you and your family.

ARRRRGH! Release the Gruffalo!!! That is so insensitive of him. How dare he suggest that you are selfish and that you should be "happy with what you have" I hope that you pointed out that DD was also begging for a sibling.......

Have you made an progress with the hygeine certification so you can start your baking business? From what I've seen you'd easily get heaps of work and maybe that could alleviate some of the financial pressure? Just a suggestion?

Oh bebe. It must be really hard. Sorry. X

Just sat at the hosp. Have had me drink so it's now waiting two hours for the second test.

Fingers crossed SWI

Oh and my walk yesterday hasn't made my hips feel worse :)

Hope you've got a good book 100!!!! Sorry to hear that your hips are painful today too.

Bebe I'm glad you spoke to your OH about how you feel, I don't think you should not be afraid of doing this as otherwise what is the point of being in a relationship? IMHO all the consideration and empathy seem to have been going one way (from you to him) recently and it is not fair :(
It's good that you have a dialogue going again though and I think you should speak to him about any other thoughts the conversation has prompted (but I know I can't fully know what it's like being in your situation so feel free to disagree!)

Good news about the crosshairs SWI! When are you thinking of POAS so we can all count down? :)

Good luck with the GTT test 100years and it sounds like your hips/pelvis are improving!

Have a good weekend Nannyl- thanks so much for the PM- very useful info (you should write a book and become a real-nappy guru!)
I like the sound of the shaped nappies used with a wrap. How many of each type do you think I would need? For example how many quick-drying ones for day and bamboo/thicker ones for night? what would you ideal started pack be?

Good news here- I had the 20 week scan yesterday and it was fab! We are having a girl! :) The images were so clear, you could see the baby sucking her thumb and stamping her feet. The placenta was well placed and all was well. It was so moving, OH and I were in tears when the sonographer told us she was a girl :)

Strawberry - that is such lovely news! Time to buy some pink!! :)

100 - hope it goes ok, glad the walk didn't make you feel worse :)

TBH thinking about it all now, cold light of day and all that, DH was actually really mean! Made me think that I was being completely unreasonable & unsupportive of him. He said 'As I understood it we were going to leave this until things were better work wise then readdress it, that's what we agreed' Erm...no...last time he said he couldn't see him wanting any more children & he would go & see his therapist to talk things through. (Which he didn't do) I didn't agree to anything last time, other than to suck it up to avoid splitting up over it!! Why is it always me making compromises & doing what he wants?! Grrrrr Must have 'doormat' written on my forehead! Still, at least the outlook isn't as bleak, and things for his work are looking reasonable...this morning! (Could all change by lunchtime!) Oh and as for me saying about DD wanting a sibling he said 'She's 2 for God's sake, yesterday she told me she wanted to be a chip when she grew up!'

Anyway, going to try & forget all about it now & just hope & pray that he gets his work stuff sorted before I go insane!

Amazing news Strawberry and awesome that you found out what you are having too. Fingers crossed that it won't tbe too long until I am having my scans (although I am sure DH won't want to know the flavour - spoilsport!!!)

Strawberry. Great news so happy for u :)

Bebe. Sorry that your dh was so mean towards u. I honestly cnt blieve he doesnt c how much u hav supported him thru everything :( hope your ok

things btween me and dp.seem to hav improved considerably since ive bin bk home from hospital he has bin very helpful so far. Im just hoping he continues to show me the same consideration when he goes bk to work and it doesnt all go bk to the way it was

i am soooo tired today luka seems to have day and nite mixed up :(

Waves to everyone

Bebe I'm very proud of you for tackling it all, and sorry that your DH wasn't as supportive as -we all-- you would have liked. I definitely agree it shouldn't be all you making the compromises.
However, looking at the positive side, that's a MASSIVE movement on his side from where you were last time with him saying he definitely didn't want any more children!
FWIW, I find with my DP that quite often when we come round to rediscussing the subject we find that we both thought we'd agreed different things/have different interpretations of where we are, just like you and your DH. I think everyone has a habit of rethinking things to suit themselves/their own feelings when left to their own devices which is why it's worth trying to stay in as continuous discussion about things as possible (although it has to be balanced off against the 'why won't you stop banging on about it') - such a bloody tightrope walk! It's very hard not to end up angry with each other isn't it?

Well done though and as I think 100 said, you should keep discussing the issues it's thrown up. I reckon you're getting somewhere by talking.

(hugs)

Waiting for my pizza and salad to arrive. Yum yum yum. It's cheeseless so it's not even that unhealthy :)

cheeseless pizza?!?!? surely that's just wrong!!!

Strawberry, great news, i'm glad everything is ok.

JBells, glad to hear things are much better with your DP.

Cheeseless pizza??? My midwife told me the other day that increasing calcium in your diet (amongst other things) can help with leg cramps/restless legs. So therefore pregnant women should have cheese on their pizza! Well, i will be doing tonight anyway :)

Since tomorrow is my last day at work all the women here have just thrown me a lunchtime baby shower. It was fab. We now have loads of baby goodies. Had better finish the nursery so we have somehwere to put it all!

Ahhh wyorks how nice of them :)

Swi. Fx for u

Whispers

There is a pic of me in my gallery.

I'll catch up with everything later on :)

Hi everyone! Sorry to go awol, have been very busy this week...

Bebe I echo everything everyone else says. Glad you talked to your DH but you need to tell him if he is being mean! (which I agree with the others that he is)

strawberry, great news!!! Glad everything is okay.

jbells glad things are better with your dp - fx for when he goes back to work.

quod, good luck with your project :)

I have come to the conclusion that a) I shouldn't drink wine on a school night, and b) I shouldn't go to bed after midnight on a school night. Today was hard work!!!

bebe I'm glad you got to talk to your DH, but I do think he needs to stop thinking about just himself! I'm not saying he has to say yes right now as he might have valid reasons, but at least he should appreciate how you are feeling without getting defensive. Still, at least you are talking about it now, so hope you can carry on :)

100years fingers crossed for your GTT result! It's funny you should say that without cheese is healthy because now I have been given permission by the diabetes people to eat as much cheese as I like :) It's carbs I have to cut down on. Love the bump picture too

swi hooray for the crosshairs! Fingers crossed the baby dash worked :)

amanda I like the sentiment about having another child because the first fulfils you.

strawberry that's lovely news :) Glad everything was good, and now you can go out shopping for lovely girly stuff!

jbells glad things are going better for you and your dp too. Although I'm also worried that this baby will have day and night mixed up given the amount of kicks I get at night!

wyorkslass I can't believe you're finishing work already! I'm very jealous as I still have a few weeks to go. Lovely of your colleagues to do a baby shower though (I work mostly with men, so that's one thing that won't be happening to me!)

mrsS hope you get a nice early night and tomorrow is better!

Things are ok here - seeing as I have no work left to do at work, and my boss is away, I have invented a mini project to do. Just hope they like it!

Woohooo, last day :)

Squirrel As an engineer i mostly work with men too. Out of a company of about 200 there are around 15 women, most of them are admin staff. Anyway we had an American MD for a few years and she started the tradition of the lunchtime baby shower.

I'm impressed at you creating a project. My boss is on holiday this week too and i have mostly been mumsnetting! My desk and work bench are a complete tip. I really should tidy up but don't think i can be bothered. Pregnant women shouldn't be bending and lifting right?! I think they may guess i'm not planning on coming back!

p.s. the above makes me sound a right lazy so and so, i'm not honest. It's just that i've worked here 9 years and lately things have been rubbish and morale is very low with lots of people leaving. I am usually very conscientious!

Enjoy your last day WYorks! :) It's the best feeling knowing that you won't be going back! :)

bebe, bummer re him being mean, wish we had a magic wand to wave for you.

jbells I'm glad things seem to be good between you and your DP. You definitely need support when you have a new LO

With regards to the cheeseless pizza, I can't eat cheese, it makes me very poorly :( Poop. Not eaten it since 1994! That's a long time. I don't miss it, I'm very happy without, except when I have to explain to restaurants and ask for a change of something.

Wyorks, lovely about your baby shower :) Yay, and hope your last day is a good one.

Here is the new thread

Hop on everyone :)