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One-child families

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Original poster

Was I rude and disrespectful?

191 replies

MellowMelly · 15/03/2018 08:49

This is my first time doing this so please be patient with me:)
I live at home with my 15 year old daughter and my partner lives in his own place. I alternate my time between both of them every other evening. On the days/evenings that I’m not with him he will call me up to 5 times for a chat and he will text message me too.
He called me the other day for the third time in one morning and whilst I was on the phone to him my daughter needed some help so I asked him to hold on briefly and apologised while I helped her. She very rarely interrupts so I saw no problem in this as I speak to him so much each day anyway!
Well apparently this was not ok! When I saw him the other evening he went on a rant and said that when I did this I was rude and disrespectful to him and now he is saying that when I stay over at his, that she shouldn’t call me when I’m with him unless it’s a dire emergency as it’s ‘our time’ together and she interrupts this BUT it’s ok for him to call me when I’m spending time with her?
Was I rude and disrespectful?

OP posts:
WhingyNinja · 16/03/2018 14:27

Well done Mellow. He sounds like an absolute sack of shit and you sound like a great mother who's put up with his nonsense for far too long. Thanks

Sarahjconnor · 16/03/2018 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chuffingchuff · 16/03/2018 14:51

😳😳

NoFucksImAQueen · 16/03/2018 15:24

Good luck op. We're all routing for you

GrooovyLass · 16/03/2018 21:13

I'm hoping that no news is good news op x

SparklyMagpie · 17/03/2018 12:23

Hi OP,just checking in to see if you're ok and safe?

Original poster
MellowMelly · 17/03/2018 13:10

Sorry for my quietness and thankyou for checking in.
He tried the nice guy routine yesterday, ‘fancy going out for a nice meal tonight’ to which I said no. It did not go down too well when I declined and reiterated I no longer want to be with him etc...
He ended up getting quite vile and threatening to come round here and was bombarding me with texts and phone calls so I called the police and they came round and he has now been arrested for ‘coercion’.
Am waiting now to see what happens. Hopefully they’ll put some sort of bail conditions in place!

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 17/03/2018 13:14

Sorry to hear about that, you must have been scared :( but great news you called the police and they arrested him!

Hopefully you won't hear from him

How are you feeling?

MarthasGinYard · 17/03/2018 13:16

Oh Op

You look after yourself

You've made a wise decision Thanks

Sarahjconnor · 17/03/2018 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NathusiusPip · 17/03/2018 13:54

Well done Melly, stick to your guns. Flowers Don't respond to any contact from him, and don't engage with him however much he tries to get your attention. Keep all messages (voice and written) as evidence.

purplelass · 17/03/2018 13:57

Keep strong! You're doing so well.

BettyBaggins · 17/03/2018 14:08

Onwards and upwards. Hope you feeling ok. The future is so much brighter for you and little one now. Brew

Original poster
MellowMelly · 17/03/2018 15:35

Feeling quite anxious and also quite relieved at the moment! They are interviewing him shortly. He was so drunk when they arrested him that they said he needed to sleep it off. They’ve taken his phone off him with all the evidence on there.
Now I get to enjoy a nice evening at home with my daughter and granddaughter without having to answer my phone to him every 5 minutes! Whoooo!

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 17/03/2018 15:44

I’ve been with him 3 years and this next part is difficult to explain so bear with me and is response to leaving my daughter every other night...
She fell pregnant rather unexpectedly with her boyfriend of two years.

I know the thread has moved on, but is that on account of you being away every other night?

SparklyMagpie · 17/03/2018 17:06

Enjoy your night with your DD an GD :)

Just think this is probably the first time you won't have him ruining it ! X

SlowlyShrinking · 17/03/2018 17:21

You should have read all of that post that you’re quoting, Titty

TittyGolightly · 17/03/2018 17:23

I did. I can’t see a timescale for when the OP started leaving her underage child for 3-4 nights a week.

SlowlyShrinking · 17/03/2018 17:27

Her boyfriend is here with her and the little one on the nights I’m with my partner. This is approved by Social services who got involved because of her age. I do this to allow them to have time bonding as a family unit. She’s never alone and it’s all been greatly discussed and she’s happy with this
It reads to me that she has only started staying away since the baby was born. Only the op can confirm though I suppose

TittyGolightly · 17/03/2018 17:32

Doesn’t suggest to me that the arrangement didn’t exist before the pregnancy/baby.

SlowlyShrinking · 17/03/2018 17:34

Yes I see what you mean. It’s ambiguous. As I said, only the op can answer the question.

TittyGolightly · 17/03/2018 17:42

Which is why I asked!

newsparklythings · 17/03/2018 18:18

OP well done. It takes some of us years to get as far as you have in days xx

TheSecretMole · 17/03/2018 19:14

Titty what exactly is your aim here? Whether or not OP did or didn’t leave her 15 year old alone before DD got pregnant is nothing to do with this thread and nothing to do with you. It just looks like you’re looking for an excuse to criticise her parenting just because you fancy having a dig.

TheSecretMole · 17/03/2018 19:15

Mellow I hope you’re enjoying your evening Smile Keep us updated and stay strong!