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Original poster

Was I rude and disrespectful?

191 replies

MellowMelly · 15/03/2018 08:49

This is my first time doing this so please be patient with me:)
I live at home with my 15 year old daughter and my partner lives in his own place. I alternate my time between both of them every other evening. On the days/evenings that I’m not with him he will call me up to 5 times for a chat and he will text message me too.
He called me the other day for the third time in one morning and whilst I was on the phone to him my daughter needed some help so I asked him to hold on briefly and apologised while I helped her. She very rarely interrupts so I saw no problem in this as I speak to him so much each day anyway!
Well apparently this was not ok! When I saw him the other evening he went on a rant and said that when I did this I was rude and disrespectful to him and now he is saying that when I stay over at his, that she shouldn’t call me when I’m with him unless it’s a dire emergency as it’s ‘our time’ together and she interrupts this BUT it’s ok for him to call me when I’m spending time with her?
Was I rude and disrespectful?

OP posts:
WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 15/03/2018 10:36

He has called me twice all ready!

It's only ten-thirty! Does he not work?

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 15/03/2018 10:38

Seriously, just tell him you're not going to his next time he expects you too (tonight?) because you need to be with your DD and when he kicks off, dump him on his arse.

Krakauer · 15/03/2018 10:40

He sounds like a psycho! Leave him!

SparklyMagpie · 15/03/2018 10:42

What on earth does he talk about when he calls you so many times?!
That's actually quite scary

Original poster
MellowMelly · 15/03/2018 10:44

He does work but calls me between jobs and I’ve told him I often have nothing to talk about as he calls me so much Grin
Hilariously enough when he kicked off the other night about me speaking to my daughter whilst on the phone to him, he told me he was never going to call me again while he was at work because apparently I’m ‘fucking awkward to talk to when I’m at home with her’ and he ‘can’t be fucking bothered with it’... and then he calls me as per normal!

OP posts:
Original poster
MellowMelly · 15/03/2018 10:47

He has diddly squat to talk about too for exactly the same reason!

OP posts:
mimibunz · 15/03/2018 10:49

Lots of red flags!

FlexTimeCheekyFucker · 15/03/2018 10:50

Don't wait for him to kick off again. End it now.

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 15/03/2018 10:51

I'm curious: what happens if you can't get to the phone and his call goes to voicemail?

TERFragetteCity · 15/03/2018 10:52

Yes I’m going to get out of this relationship when he next kicks off which will probably be very soon knowing him!

Why wait? You should take the bull between the horns and be proactive, not reactive to another kick off.

SparklyMagpie · 15/03/2018 10:52

Must be exhausting for you!

I imagine you can't go on a night out or to see friends without him blowing up your phone aswell?

Jealous bastard, who does he think he is to tell you not to speak to your child,knowing full well she is a child and has a baby at home

Absolute psycho

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 15/03/2018 10:54

‘fucking awkward to talk to when I’m at home with her’

He's got a massive and worrying problem with your child. If he can't respect the fact your primary responsibility is for your 15-year-old daughter, especially during a particularly vulnerable time for her, he's an arsehole. Run for the hills, OP.

pictish · 15/03/2018 10:55

Look...he wants you to have nothing in your life but him...not even your own daughter. He’s a fuck up, a liability, will damage you and see you completely entrapped in his web of selfishness.

Get the fuck away from him. I repeat...get the fuck away.

Original poster
MellowMelly · 15/03/2018 10:57

Yes you’re absolutely right SparklyMagpie. I am exhausted and if I don’t answer his texts whilst I’m out with a friend I get another text with lots of ‘?????’ in it!

OP posts:
pictish · 15/03/2018 10:57

“Absolute psycho”

Well yes. Fucking nut job.

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 15/03/2018 10:58

I'm really glad you're beginning to see how twisted his behaviour is OP. He wants you on a short leash, preferably made out of telephone wire.

epiphanytime · 15/03/2018 10:58

I'm glad you wrote in...not only were you not being rude but this guy is controlling and overbearing...time to embrace your independence again!

Neolara · 15/03/2018 11:00

He's trying to get you to agree to prioritise his needs over your dd's. He sound a needy nightmare. I agree with everyone else on this thread that you are doing the thing by planning your escape. Good luck!

pictish · 15/03/2018 11:00

Thank God you don’t live with him. That’s one saving grace. Has he got keys to your place? Change the locks pronto and ditch that shit.

????? indeed. Fuck off loony.

SparklyMagpie · 15/03/2018 11:05

Please don't wait until he kicks off, do it as soon as you can,if he's already angry and you break it off I can imagine it'll go ten fold

veuveo · 15/03/2018 11:05

Why wait until he kicks off again?!
Won't it be more traumatic?

This reminds me of my H, who kicked off when I had to put the phone down on him to feed brand new baby.

KatharinaRosalie · 15/03/2018 11:08

Jesus he sounds absolutely horrible

happyvalley74 · 15/03/2018 11:09

Oh god he's a controlling piece of shit

Don't wait until he kicks off. Tell him it's not working for you.

whatthefuckingfuck · 15/03/2018 11:10

If she's 15 with a baby herself she needs you even more imo.

This.

Also he's a jealous, crazy, controlling arsehole who you need to get away from now. If not you're only showing your dd that this is a normal relationship.

Original poster
MellowMelly · 15/03/2018 11:11

I do need to handle this very carefully. I know how volatile he can get especially when he is drinking.

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