NEVER SEND YOUR CHILD TO NURSERY

[NicoleBailey]

hi.. mums, i am a full time mummy to a little girl of 16months.
personally.. having worked in different nurserys i would advise anyone NOT to ever ever send their child to a particular one~!
dont know if i can name names..
before i was pregnant i worked for a private nursery it was brillant from day 1 we had lots of training. and was taught to give a home from home enviroment and treat each child as if it was your own. after i had my little girl, i went to work for a well know chain of nurserys. and was disqusted!it seemed to be run by young girls who didnt have any children. and who had just left school.. the girls wouldnt go near any children that werent up to their hygine standards. exapmle.. a child fell over in playground and had grazed their hand. none of the girls wanted to go and compfort the child as it 'smelt' they were all saying 'no you go..' i was outraged. this little child was crying and no one would go to them.
i dont care what anyone says if a child fell over and smelt or not.. you dont ever not go to it. the girls had 'favopurites' if the child turnt up to nursery in a bmw and latest nike trainers then the girls loved them! nappy times.. the girls didnt warn the child or tell the child they were about to be changed they just grabbed the child and layed it on the floor on nappy mat. and wondered why the child is kicking and screming..they hadnt pre told the child 'in a min im going to do your nappy'! by the end of my 1st day i felt sick! i couldnt believe i had enrolled my daughter to such a place. never in a million years would any child of been treated like this at my previous place of work.
my one the day before i left my littlegirl was left crying for ages in a corner. and she doesnt smell! and wears the latest clothes/trainers!! i was working in toddler room down the corridor and could hear her crying..i asked if i could go and check on her and was told to wait until my break was due.. which was half hour away. 10 mins later we could still hear her crying.. so the room leader rang down to the baby unit and asked if i was my daughter we could hear. and 2 mins later a girl from the room came up to toddlers and said' yes shes a bit upset at the moment but dont come down because if she sees you it might upsaet her even more' i was angry and wanted to go to her. so kindley a girl swapped breaks with me and i ran down to baby room , where in the corner was my daughter sitting propped up with pillows. hyperventaliating. all the girls were the other side of the room chatting over the wall to other nursery workers, i picked her up and tried to settle her, but she couldnt breathe she was crying that much. the girls hadnt even noticed id come in the room, i rocked her to sleep and went straight to nursery managagers office to complain about everything id seen in the few days which id worked their.. and i asked to see the cctv of the baby room so i culd see just how long she had been crying and to see if any one had tryed to calm her down. we watched for bout 5 mins, where a girl picked her up tryed to rock her then put her back down. still screaming! the manager stopped the tape before it went on any further. my daughter was ill the next day with a viral infection.. dont know how or where she picked that up from (prob nursery) so i didnt go back into work for the rest of that week. then i sent a letter handing my notice in. remember babies cannot talk or tel you what happened to them. just because the nursery looks friendly and clean. be cautious.. if your child makes a huge fuss before going to nursery in hte morning its probley because they are not cared for correctly whilst their. advice to partents..
quit your job! why have children if you stick them in a nursery 7-am -7-pm get family members to help you. i reported this nursery to oftead and it was not the 1st compaint as staff ratios had been compalined about in the baby room. ofstead njst warned them. now they have re-opened in a new name!!

so advice.. NEVER SEND YOUR CHILD TO NURSERY and the fees you pay are a rip off!!

oh no i will go out to work thanks, call me crazy but i'm a grown woman who doesn't want to sponge off her husband.

how will you cope when you have to send your little darling to school? because it is a legal requirement you know. although she'll probably be off school so much with sickness due to her underdeveloped immune system. maybe you should home school.

yer daft bint yer

There are unfortunately a few nurseries where the standards of care are just not good enough.
My SIL works in a nursery (actually, three of them did, only one still does) and has worked in a few previously, where she has moved on being unhappy with what she was expected to do and / or the way the nursery was ran.

Twims thats exactly who were saying should be working in nurseries.

Thank you portandlemon for clarifying that for me - yes, that is what I meant. I DO NOT think she is a troll - I was defending her against that accusation

I have read the whole thread. My point is that it was written in the kind of haste that happens when one gets wound up about something...ALWAYS a good idea to give yourself a break of an hour between typing either an email or a post like this, before actually clicking POST or SEND.

Jacqueline - don't you think that poor nursery care is an issue worth discussing? Sure Op was misguided but I also think it is misguided to hurl insults at SAHMs too.

I was shocked at some of the nurseries I saw when I was trying to get childcare for DD2.

But DD1's pre-school shows how fantastic nurseries can be. It's a shame they aren't all like that.

If the governemtn wants more women back to work within the first few years of their child's life, it needs to provide more state nurseries with well-paid, well trained staff. It needs to raise the status of the profession.

At the moment it's just a lottery.

Totally agree smallorange - and I must say one of the nicest nurseries I ever worked in was a children's centre. I think we really need more state nurseries.

wouldn't you, as working mothers, with children in nurseries, want to know this?

i had my child in nursery for a few settling sessions. i expected there to be tears, and difficulties, but each day when i went in and asked how he had got on his key worker told me he'd been fine, however another worker there told me he'd been very upset and sad for most of the time.

Now I'm pretty sure they treated him well, but I was really annoyed to think that they could not tell me the truth even though I had openly expressed my concerns that he may be diificult to settle and I had every confidence in them.

Surely what would be good is if bringing up children was deemed an important and difficult job in our society and nursery workers and indeed SAHM (via better maternity pay and benefits/flexible working etc) were better renumerated.

(Hope my paragraphing meets acceptable standards, for why should we listen to anybody's viewpoint if they have an unacceptable typing style)

I have numerous stories my SIL has told me re nurseries she has worked at, including:

Babies given the wrong milk

A child got lost on the grounds and was injured out of sight, parents told he was injured elsewhere

Whilst she was training, she was often left along in charge of the room with no help - despite them being aware she was not qualified

A rat infestation in the babies room where the parents were kept in the dark until somebody reported them to environmental health

I am sure that for every bad nursery there can be a bad parent, a bad childminder etc, but a lot of the nurseries my SIL has worked at, they are all well known, well respected, and highly priced nurseries. I would prefer to know if something bad was happening.

Having said that, there are some lines the OP could do without, including the "why have kids" and "give up work"

"By JacquelineBouvier on Mon 02-Mar-09 20:02:05
oh no i will go out to work thanks, call me crazy but i'm a grown woman who doesn't want to sponge off her husband.

how will you cope when you have to send your little darling to school? because it is a legal requirement you know. although she'll probably be off school so much with sickness due to her underdeveloped immune system. maybe you should home school.

yer daft bint yer "

Can someone explain what this means - underdeveloped immune system????

What makes a good nursery imo (based on my dcs' experiences)

• open door policy: parents in & out all the time & parents warmly invited to stay and join in.
• senior/well-trained/mature/professional managers in each room (who lead by example)
• happy, smiley and well behaved children
• happy, smiley and well behaved staff
• lot of affection & cuddles
• lots of information flowing each way between parents and staff
• a culture of admitting to mistakes (if there are any) and honesty with parents
• fantastic location, opportunities offered beyond what home can offer and very well resourced

There are fabulous ones - but no one remembers those posts!

Can I add another point - if the staff have been there for some time thats a good sign too you can casually ask staff how long theyve been there - My old employer paid me to go back into nursery for 2 hours here and there during August so that the children who were leaving would have a familiar face around for the last few weeks and on at least 3 occasions ive dressed children in their uniforms and took them for their first half days session cos their mummies had to work.

I find it quite that a new poster comes on here and just because she posts a contraversial post (which she subsequently apologises for) is repeatedly criticised for her spelling and called 'illiterate'!

I too have witnessed similair beahviour in nurseries and am not surprised at this.
However would leave out the telling parents how to care for their children for future posts

Oh God, not again. This is getting really tedious. I am very happy with my DS's nursery thanks very much, and I do trust my own judgement believe it or not. I certainly won't be changing my arrangements on the basis of posts from a couple of mad women on the internet.

whats with the nursery bashing these last few weeks???

No matter what homework you do before deciding on a place its hard to leave your litte one(s) in nursery even for a few hours a week. I suspect most mums (me included) even if they know their little one is happy and gaining skills they dont gain at home feel some level of guilt

Surely there are staff out there with stories of how well they treat kids in their care..go on you know you want to say how many cuddles you give out in a day

Talking of cuddles - when I was a beaver leader, we were strictly forbidden to cuddle them when they were upset. Made me very sad.

Thankyou ssd and accidenalmum

as i said b4, i never meant to cause such a stir, yes in an ideal world mums should stay at home with the kids,

but you dont work in the nurserys you parents dont see or hear what really goes on during the day.

im not saying 'all nurserys'

just that one imparticular!

i was very annoyed when i wrote it, that why spelling and stuff not good!

thankyou everyone for your views and comments and i am sorry if i offended anyone.

but i'm a grown woman who doesn't want to sponge off her husband.

Thanks very much! As a sahm, I wasn't aware I was "sponging off my husband" but looking after our children. Just as important as his "job" surely . I'll get off my fat arse shall I and go get myself a job.....Pisses me off a treat

I am not offended

but dont think its an ideal world where parents stay at home

ds has picked up valuable skills at nursery that he wouldnt get at home

eg socialising, dealing with peer pressure, team work, being a good loser. taking turns

nicolebailey - i'm grateful for your post

frasersmummy i think those skills can be acquired at home also ?

sorry misread post see you were saying 'your ds wouldn't get them at home'

I think what Nicole means is that in an ideal world every woman could choose to stay at home or not.

I also don't think there are any skills learned at nursery that can't be learned at home.

JacquelineBouvier

Your comment about sahms sponging off their husbands are as offensive as the points made in the OP.
If you are so confident in the life choices you have made, why would you feel the need to belittle those who have chosen differently?

My dh and I are a team, there is no 'yours and mine', and I find your comments distasteful.

to the op
my ds1 went to a wonderful nursery, where the staff were fantastic. far better than i was. and it angers me that they could possibly be lumped in with the same category of people you mention.
i could go on, but i wont. you have obviously had a terrible experience which has shaped your opinino