NEVER SEND YOUR CHILD TO NURSERY

[NicoleBailey]

hi.. mums, i am a full time mummy to a little girl of 16months.
personally.. having worked in different nurserys i would advise anyone NOT to ever ever send their child to a particular one~!
dont know if i can name names..
before i was pregnant i worked for a private nursery it was brillant from day 1 we had lots of training. and was taught to give a home from home enviroment and treat each child as if it was your own. after i had my little girl, i went to work for a well know chain of nurserys. and was disqusted!it seemed to be run by young girls who didnt have any children. and who had just left school.. the girls wouldnt go near any children that werent up to their hygine standards. exapmle.. a child fell over in playground and had grazed their hand. none of the girls wanted to go and compfort the child as it 'smelt' they were all saying 'no you go..' i was outraged. this little child was crying and no one would go to them.
i dont care what anyone says if a child fell over and smelt or not.. you dont ever not go to it. the girls had 'favopurites' if the child turnt up to nursery in a bmw and latest nike trainers then the girls loved them! nappy times.. the girls didnt warn the child or tell the child they were about to be changed they just grabbed the child and layed it on the floor on nappy mat. and wondered why the child is kicking and screming..they hadnt pre told the child 'in a min im going to do your nappy'! by the end of my 1st day i felt sick! i couldnt believe i had enrolled my daughter to such a place. never in a million years would any child of been treated like this at my previous place of work.
my one the day before i left my littlegirl was left crying for ages in a corner. and she doesnt smell! and wears the latest clothes/trainers!! i was working in toddler room down the corridor and could hear her crying..i asked if i could go and check on her and was told to wait until my break was due.. which was half hour away. 10 mins later we could still hear her crying.. so the room leader rang down to the baby unit and asked if i was my daughter we could hear. and 2 mins later a girl from the room came up to toddlers and said' yes shes a bit upset at the moment but dont come down because if she sees you it might upsaet her even more' i was angry and wanted to go to her. so kindley a girl swapped breaks with me and i ran down to baby room , where in the corner was my daughter sitting propped up with pillows. hyperventaliating. all the girls were the other side of the room chatting over the wall to other nursery workers, i picked her up and tried to settle her, but she couldnt breathe she was crying that much. the girls hadnt even noticed id come in the room, i rocked her to sleep and went straight to nursery managagers office to complain about everything id seen in the few days which id worked their.. and i asked to see the cctv of the baby room so i culd see just how long she had been crying and to see if any one had tryed to calm her down. we watched for bout 5 mins, where a girl picked her up tryed to rock her then put her back down. still screaming! the manager stopped the tape before it went on any further. my daughter was ill the next day with a viral infection.. dont know how or where she picked that up from (prob nursery) so i didnt go back into work for the rest of that week. then i sent a letter handing my notice in. remember babies cannot talk or tel you what happened to them. just because the nursery looks friendly and clean. be cautious.. if your child makes a huge fuss before going to nursery in hte morning its probley because they are not cared for correctly whilst their. advice to partents..
quit your job! why have children if you stick them in a nursery 7-am -7-pm get family members to help you. i reported this nursery to oftead and it was not the 1st compaint as staff ratios had been compalined about in the baby room. ofstead njst warned them. now they have re-opened in a new name!!

so advice.. NEVER SEND YOUR CHILD TO NURSERY and the fees you pay are a rip off!!

Well, NicoleBailey.

My Dh works in Russia... Any ideas how we might share care of our child??????????????

Just cos YOU feel you have a good set up doesn't mean you have the right to tell everyone else it's the way they should live theirs.

FFS - there are many mums on here who don't even HAVE a DP / DH.

How on earth do you think you were justified in finishing off with 'NEVER SEND YOUR CHILD TO NURSERY' ???? Crap nurseries are around, but so are the utterly brilliant ones. Think before you post!!!!!

hey hey! she's apologised for the upset, was just letting off steam etc and more to the point she's named and shamed. leave her alone.

How about "I gently suggest you read the Ofsted report of a nursery and do some research before sending your child there" - if that is what you are saying.

No shit there are bad nurseries. There are also bad CMs, bad nannies and bad parents.

(Georgimama I like the idea of a carp nursery but I feel it may be a slightly limited market )

I do understand that the OP would be angry about this awful nursery, but the bit which says

'quit your job! why have children if you stick them in a nursery 7-am -7-pm get family members to help you.'

is the bit which probably p**d most people off - a lot of us don't have any family near and can't afford to just quit our jobs.
As I said, fortunately the nursery I sent dd to was great.

Err OK. Weirdo

FGS, the OP has apologised for causing upset, and admitted she shouldn't have said "never send your child to nursery" - I think everyone can get off her case now.

Don't be so harsh on op, she is new to mumsnet and is clearly extremely concerned about what she has experienced. I really don't feel she intended any malice.

I'm a qualified nursery nurse (currently a sahm) and I can honestly assure you that in my time working at a private day nursery and working in a social services day nursery where poverty was a real issue -I would never mistreat or neglect any child in my care,I treat all children the same way I treat my own and I have never met any child smelly or nike clad that I would neglect.

As a result of my professionalism I am frequently offered work and to this day even my very first babies come to visit me - the eldest being 19 and hes now at uni and he still calls me Miss Dee.

I can assure all the working mums who have to use nurseries that Ive never met any nursery nurses that would neglect any child to this standard and I find the O.P post very hard to believe.

nicole - if you are concerned about a nursery, please report it. They will investigate.

Why does the OP think it's relevant that her DD "doesnt smell! and wears the latest clothes/trainers!!"? I find the use of exclamation marks somewhat excessive.

I have to disagree bobbysmum - it's not necessarily that everyone in a particular nursery is a bad egg, but when there are a couple of bad eggs (or the bad eggs are in leadership positions) the culture of a nursery can become unpleasant. Even staff member who start off as "good eggs" can end of stepping into line, or at least turning a blind eye so as not to rock the boat. I think this is particularly common when a lot of the staff are younger and less experienced, and can take the lead from older, more dominant personalities.

Also disagree about staff being frightened to tell children off! I've seen a particularly tough nursery nurse at a very good/popular local nursery confiscate two year old's blankets and put them crying on the naughty chair for not "listening properly" during circle time.

That's not to say most nurseries are like that though, but some do have problems - personally I think small nurseries are likely to be better than the big chains.

Troll.

Incidentally at one of the nurseries I worked my ds2 came with me and I frequently throughout the day checked on him - now we are all mums here so let me as you - if you could hear your dd crying -would you be asking permission to go to her???

If you had had access to a cctv film that showed your dd being neglected would you not just call in the authorities?

Nursery fees are notoriously high but as a qualified NNEB with vast experience (and its not just me theres lots of us - we are worth it,we arent paid mega money admittedly but it 'costs' to care for and stimulate a child).

Also I am not being spiteful in saying this I too make many grammatical errors and mistakes especially on a pc - but in order to train as a nursery nurse you need good basic education- perhaps the O.P has a difficulty I dont know but I would hope that my posts as a professional person are easier on the eye.

i love you Aitch

nickschick - I have worked in a couple of nurseries (supply work) where I would say the standard of care, if not neglectful, was certainly poor. These were nurseries with weak management that relied on a lot of young, unqualified girls. They weren't deliberately being cruel, they just weren't that interested, and didn't have the knowledge of child development that a qualified or more experienced nursery nurse would have (thinking a baby was crying just to manipulate them or piss them off for example). Some of them definitely had an attitude of almost trying to outdo each other with how "not bovvered" they were (very teenage).

Nurseries like that are definitely the minority though, and doing supply work you're more likely to see bad nurseries because they're the ones that have trouble retaining staff, lots of absence etc so need to rely on agency temps.

By willowthewispa on Mon 02-Mar-09 18:23:06
I have to disagree bobbysmum - it's not necessarily that everyone in a particular nursery is a bad egg, but when there are a couple of bad eggs (or the bad eggs are in leadership positions) the culture of a nursery can become unpleasant. Even staff member who start off as "good eggs" can end of stepping into line, or at least turning a blind eye so as not to rock the boat. I think this is particularly common when a lot of the staff are younger and less experienced, and can take the lead from older, more dominant personalities.

Also disagree about staff being frightened to tell children off! I've seen a particularly tough nursery nurse at a very good/popular local nursery confiscate two year old's blankets and put them crying on the naughty chair for not "listening properly" during circle time.

That's not to say most nurseries are like that though, but some do have problems - personally I think small nurseries are likely to be better than the big chains.

WILLOW

I think that in most places of work you have certain characters that can make the environment unpleasant but a good nursery nurse will know ways to work around that- what Im basically saying is that you probably get what you pay for in most cases with childcare.

AH lol Willow x posts you said the same as me.

Having said that some of the most gifted nursery assistants have been young unqualified girls - its hard to pinpoint isnt it?

next time we get one of these ridiculous OPs i would recommend everyone just moving on to the next thread.
do not bother to respond.
it is pathetic, it really is.

Thank you nickschick for giving us another perspective, and the points you make are very valid.

i have lots of points to make about good nurseries, benefits gained etc etc etc, but you know what, i can't really be bothered.

"I can assure all the working mums who have to use nurseries that Ive never met any nursery nurses that would neglect any child to this standard..."

Unfortunately, I have

"...and I find the O.P post very hard to believe." And unfortunately, I don't.

shock horror crap nurseries exist just as good ones do..crap Doctors exist jsut as good ones do why not post about never seeking healthcare just in case it is a bad GP?

I agree with the others who are saying you've made your point - now leave her alone.
She is clearly very upset (and rightly so) about her horrible experience. She obviously isn't intending to insult people. It's another mumsnet witch-hunt.