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Dogs on Nursery Property - AIBU?

180 replies

PearlsofHelp · 19/07/2025 18:50

The nursery where my son attends is in a converted house, and you hand over/are handed children at a side door which leads into a small courtyard (behind a key pad accessed gate)

Handovers are done in this courtyard, and at busy times there can be 4 families in the same space.

Recently, more and more people have started to bring dogs with them at drop off/pick up and bring them into this courtyard. My 2 year old is terrified. One of the things he likes to do is to walk from the gate to the door himself, but he has to be carried if there is a dog because he’s so scared, so I’m handing him over is a stressed state which is not an ideal way to start the day.

I sent an email to the nursery manager raising my concerns,

“I hope you’ve had a lovely week.

I just wanted to raise something that’s been on my mind. (My husband) mentioned that there was a dog in the courtyard this morning during drop-off, and unfortunately, (my son) had to be carried in as he was too frightened to walk past it. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, and I know it’s something he’s really anxious about.

I also worry a little about pick-up times, when dogs are in the courtyard and children are coming out of the building. With the natural hustle and bustle, and adults often focused on handovers, there’s always a small risk that a child might approach a dog in the wrong way, leading to an unintended incident. Of course, that would be distressing for everyone involved.

I completely understand that many families walk and bring their dogs with them, and it’s a tricky balance to strike. I just wanted to share how it’s affecting (my son), in case there’s anything that can be done to help make drop-off and pick-up feel safer and more comfortable for everyone.

Thanks so much for your understanding.

Best wishes,

The nursery replied, a whole week later.. and said “I understand the concerns raised in your email and that (my son) was unsure about coming into the nursery because of the dogs in the courtyard. We don't actively discourage family pets coming to nursery, but I will use the weekly sheet to remind all owners of the need to keep pets under control (on a lead) while on the nursery premises. During handovers, the staff are always aware if their is a dog within the courtyard and will always discourage the children from touching the dog unless approval has been given by the owner and the child is alongside an adult”

I replied again

“Thank you for your response.

I really appreciate your explanation, but I do remain concerned about the presence of dogs in the courtyard during drop-off and pick-up times.
As I understand it, a core principle of any robust risk assessment is to eliminate risks wherever possible. In this case, it’s difficult to see how the presence of dogs provides a benefit that outweighs the potential risks to the children.
Dogs are routinely excluded from school sites, including (Our) Village School, and public playgrounds for very similar safeguarding reasons: to protect children from distress, accidental injury, or unpredictable behaviour.
I’d be grateful if you could confirm whether a formal risk assessment has been carried out specifically addressing this issue, as that may help provide some reassurance in light of my concerns”

She replied

“Currently, we do not have a formal risk assessment in place for dogs in the courtyard”

On the weekly sheet which is like a newsletter to parents it said “we love to see your pets at drop off/pick up but please keep them on a lead”

This felt like almost permission for people to bring dogs which I wasn’t thrilled about.

To me, having dogs in an enclosed space with no risk assessment, with children who are 9months-4years feels mad.

I’m not anti-dog by any stretch. We had dogs growing up and are very much “dog” people.

Their response has made my question myself. I am being unreasonable?

OP posts:
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mumofbun · 19/07/2025 18:58

I take it this is a private nursery in which case I think it's up to them really. The nursery my son went to was on a farm and had several dogs running around including the two belonging to the owner as pets and several sheepdogs. The nursery manager would bring her dog in. It was just part of the environment.

I don't see why you'd write a letter saying you appreciate it's a difficult balance and that you just want to share and then clearly be unhappy they didn't agree with you. If some people walk with their dogs I think it's reasonable they keep them with them.

It's a shame your son is terrified (mine is too) but it's something that you'll come across a lot unfortunately

MauriceTheMussel · 19/07/2025 19:01

I love my dog, but I wouldn’t be happy with this at all in your shoes.

I also can’t figure out if the nursery is being deliberately obtuse with you or actually just thick.

They don’t even mention the health risk! At my SECONDARY school, there was a sign up at the gate saying no dogs or cats due to toxoplasmosis and whatever it is for dogs.

I don’t think you’d be unreasonable to kick up a stink and give it to them in black and white that this isn’t ok, and can’t dogs just be left outside the premises?

Mrspatmoresapprentice · 19/07/2025 19:08

If the dog is on a leash and under control then YABU. An on leash, under control dog presents no risk to pretty much anyone. It is up to you to manage the behaviour of your child and deal with any (in this situation) unnecessary fear.

PearlsofHelp · 19/07/2025 19:10

To be honest, I was hoping for a compromise, something like they can come onto nursery property but not into the gated area.. that there could be some sort of other arrangements made to not upset the dog people as well. I was also hoping that they would provide me some reassurance about how they have assessed the risk. I know when the old nursery manager brought her dog in for the children to see (this was with my older son), we were sent a risk assessment that stated the dog would be muzzled and had been temperament assessed etc.

I was expecting more of a collaborative approach which is why my reply was probably a bit more arsey than my initial letter, even though I had tried to keep a reasonable tone on both as I really don’t want to fall out with them.

i’m naturally a risk adverse person, so maybe im in the minority. I am just surprised that they can say “we’ve not done a risk assessment but we’ve decided it’s fine”

hopefully he’ll get better as he gets older..

OP posts:
DecemberPlusFebruary · 19/07/2025 19:13

This nursery has just told you it will toss safeguarding to one side in favour of parental convenience, and that it considers risk assessments optional.

Do with that what you will.

Scenic11 · 19/07/2025 19:14

Not much worse than dog owners who think that frightening children is an acceptable byproduct of their animal owning choices.

mumofbun · 19/07/2025 19:18

Ok so there is garden or something outside this courtyard part that would be safe for dogs to be left in? I just think if you want something then asking for it with a reasonable solution would be better - so would it be possible for dogs to remain outside the courtyard/have a dog parking area outside or something similar?

I think it's likely they think more people would be annoyed about not being allowed to bring their dogs and so that's the balance they've decided to strike.

I think likely you've now put their back up by going on about risk assessments

rwalker · 19/07/2025 19:19

Let me guess nursery owner is a dog owner

Baital · 19/07/2025 19:21

Well, vote with your feet and leave. Or accept it.

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 19:22

They've said they allow dogs on leads in the yard. It's up to you if you want to go elsewhere with different rules.

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 19:24

Scenic11 · 19/07/2025 19:14

Not much worse than dog owners who think that frightening children is an acceptable byproduct of their animal owning choices.

Taking dogs where you're told they're welcome is not entitled ffs. It's a private business and op is free to go elsewhere

Scenic11 · 19/07/2025 19:26

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 19:24

Taking dogs where you're told they're welcome is not entitled ffs. It's a private business and op is free to go elsewhere

You neatly prove my point.

MauriceTheMussel · 19/07/2025 19:41

Our local nursery has a million dog owners as customers, but dogs stay on the pavement and then it’s the gate and THEN it’s the outdoor play space.

Why can’t the compromise be a couple of hooks for leashes outside the drop off gated area?

Whilst I do think you can walk your DS in, using your body as a barrier to any dogs, to help him deal with his fear, the nursery’s lack of any fucks is astonishing.

Again, I say this as a massive dog freak and owner.

LittlleMy · 19/07/2025 19:52

As said by PP, really surprised that they’re not putting the needs of children already of the pets. It’s hardly a massive ask to the nursery to request that confined courtyard space is kept clear and a kids zone only. It’s also a little first step of independence for very small children like OPs to walk from the gate across the courtyard and to the entrance himself. Is a shame he’s been robbed of that. Surprised that the Nursery aren’t more bothered about the safety aspect either. Occasionally you do get friends/relatives dropping the kids off who may have dogs and not aware that they have to be on a lead so requesting on lead isn’t foolproof. It’s to protect both the dog and child really.

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 20:38

Scenic11 · 19/07/2025 19:26

You neatly prove my point.

They've literally sent a letter saying dogs are welcome. Not sure why it's so shocking that people then believe dogs are welcome.

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 20:41

Just to clarify. Yes. If a venue says my dog is welcome then I will enter it with my dog if she is with me. If she's not allowed then she stays outside. Only on mumsnet is this controversial.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 19/07/2025 20:43

I don’t understand why a nursery, of all places, would choose to prioritise pets over children.

Scenic11 · 19/07/2025 21:26

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 20:41

Just to clarify. Yes. If a venue says my dog is welcome then I will enter it with my dog if she is with me. If she's not allowed then she stays outside. Only on mumsnet is this controversial.

Do you not care about children? Do you really think your dog is more important?

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 21:29

Scenic11 · 19/07/2025 21:26

Do you not care about children? Do you really think your dog is more important?

If somewhere says she's welcome I assume she's welcome and people who are present accept that these are the rules on this property,

Mumofyellows · 19/07/2025 21:31

Dogs should be on a lead but I also think as a parent you have a responsibility to show your child that dogs are absolutely fine when on a lead and teach them to ignore them. Dogs are everywhere, it's unrealistic to expect everywhere you go to adjust you your child being wary, as long as dogs are under control then there is no need for your child to worry and it's your job to show them that.

Mumofyellows · 19/07/2025 21:33

DarkForces · 19/07/2025 20:41

Just to clarify. Yes. If a venue says my dog is welcome then I will enter it with my dog if she is with me. If she's not allowed then she stays outside. Only on mumsnet is this controversial.

Agree!

Drivingthevengabus · 19/07/2025 21:36

I love my dog but there are many places that are not appropriate for him. A small courtyard where there are little children being handed over to/from nursery care is definitely one of them.

babyproblems · 19/07/2025 21:41

I take my dog to drop off and pick up and tie the lead shortly to a post far from the front door. People do walk past him but he is not in their direct path. I can’t see why they can’t tie their dogs up outside the nursery eg at the front of the property if space allows rather than them being in the zone of action so to speak. I’m surprised the nursery haven’t asked people to tie them up at the front off the property. If your dd is frightened I would also maybe use it as a chance to boost her confidence around dogs and teach to ignore them or make it positive if they are friendly. I do agree with you that there is always a level of risk so some balance is required.

Mumofyellows · 19/07/2025 21:41

Scenic11 · 19/07/2025 19:14

Not much worse than dog owners who think that frightening children is an acceptable byproduct of their animal owning choices.

But your child being scared of dogs is quite unrealistic in this day and age. They are everywhere. Dogs are not the enemy. I have dogs, horses and sheep and none have ever hurt my child and because they have grown up with them they have no fear. It's much better to continue to encounter them in a controlled way, going about their day with their family collecting a child from nursery is perfectly normal! Hiding your child away from some perfectly friendly dog is only reinforcing it!

MauriceTheMussel · 19/07/2025 21:47

It’s the nursery’s attitude here that really grates. If someone whipped out the dog allergy card, what then?