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Dogs on Nursery Property - AIBU?

180 replies

PearlsofHelp · 19/07/2025 18:50

The nursery where my son attends is in a converted house, and you hand over/are handed children at a side door which leads into a small courtyard (behind a key pad accessed gate)

Handovers are done in this courtyard, and at busy times there can be 4 families in the same space.

Recently, more and more people have started to bring dogs with them at drop off/pick up and bring them into this courtyard. My 2 year old is terrified. One of the things he likes to do is to walk from the gate to the door himself, but he has to be carried if there is a dog because he’s so scared, so I’m handing him over is a stressed state which is not an ideal way to start the day.

I sent an email to the nursery manager raising my concerns,

“I hope you’ve had a lovely week.

I just wanted to raise something that’s been on my mind. (My husband) mentioned that there was a dog in the courtyard this morning during drop-off, and unfortunately, (my son) had to be carried in as he was too frightened to walk past it. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, and I know it’s something he’s really anxious about.

I also worry a little about pick-up times, when dogs are in the courtyard and children are coming out of the building. With the natural hustle and bustle, and adults often focused on handovers, there’s always a small risk that a child might approach a dog in the wrong way, leading to an unintended incident. Of course, that would be distressing for everyone involved.

I completely understand that many families walk and bring their dogs with them, and it’s a tricky balance to strike. I just wanted to share how it’s affecting (my son), in case there’s anything that can be done to help make drop-off and pick-up feel safer and more comfortable for everyone.

Thanks so much for your understanding.

Best wishes,

The nursery replied, a whole week later.. and said “I understand the concerns raised in your email and that (my son) was unsure about coming into the nursery because of the dogs in the courtyard. We don't actively discourage family pets coming to nursery, but I will use the weekly sheet to remind all owners of the need to keep pets under control (on a lead) while on the nursery premises. During handovers, the staff are always aware if their is a dog within the courtyard and will always discourage the children from touching the dog unless approval has been given by the owner and the child is alongside an adult”

I replied again

“Thank you for your response.

I really appreciate your explanation, but I do remain concerned about the presence of dogs in the courtyard during drop-off and pick-up times.
As I understand it, a core principle of any robust risk assessment is to eliminate risks wherever possible. In this case, it’s difficult to see how the presence of dogs provides a benefit that outweighs the potential risks to the children.
Dogs are routinely excluded from school sites, including (Our) Village School, and public playgrounds for very similar safeguarding reasons: to protect children from distress, accidental injury, or unpredictable behaviour.
I’d be grateful if you could confirm whether a formal risk assessment has been carried out specifically addressing this issue, as that may help provide some reassurance in light of my concerns”

She replied

“Currently, we do not have a formal risk assessment in place for dogs in the courtyard”

On the weekly sheet which is like a newsletter to parents it said “we love to see your pets at drop off/pick up but please keep them on a lead”

This felt like almost permission for people to bring dogs which I wasn’t thrilled about.

To me, having dogs in an enclosed space with no risk assessment, with children who are 9months-4years feels mad.

I’m not anti-dog by any stretch. We had dogs growing up and are very much “dog” people.

Their response has made my question myself. I am being unreasonable?

OP posts:
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TheNightingalesStarling · 22/07/2025 06:51

How do they know only well behaved and trained dogs will be brought along?

(My DD became terrified of dogs as a toddler after 2 experiences of "just being friendly" dogs knocking her over a few days apart.)

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 06:53

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 06:45

Really depends on the dog here, surely?! If I had a dog that was unpredictable and anxious around a lot of people, of course don't bring it. If it's a dog that is used to people and kids and will happily ignore them, then there's no problem.

It doesn't need to be as dramatic as what's more important, the dog or the child! People can like kids and dogs and happily live alongside both in real life (though apparently not on MN 🙄)

Well it's a nursery for children, so if you're choosing to ignore that then yes you are saying a dog is more important. And let's face it, this is really only happening because the parent is too lazy to tie it up. OP is just asking for them not to be loose in the busy courtyard which is personally reasonable and common sense, I don't know why someone would even try to argue with that. Some parents and dog owners (worst combination) really are entitled, lazy fuckers.

ButterCrackers · 22/07/2025 06:56

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 06:50

Totally agree. And add to this that the dogs in this environment must live with a child of nursery age! So are unlikely to be child eating monsters 😂

MN is batshit when it comes to dogs!

Clearly you know nothing about dogs.

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 06:58

ButterCrackers · 22/07/2025 06:56

Clearly you know nothing about dogs.

Clearly 🙄

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 06:59

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 06:50

Totally agree. And add to this that the dogs in this environment must live with a child of nursery age! So are unlikely to be child eating monsters 😂

MN is batshit when it comes to dogs!

What's wrong with tying it up? What is the actual issue? Isn't that just a nice thing to do if one of the children is terrified?

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 06:59

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 06:53

Well it's a nursery for children, so if you're choosing to ignore that then yes you are saying a dog is more important. And let's face it, this is really only happening because the parent is too lazy to tie it up. OP is just asking for them not to be loose in the busy courtyard which is personally reasonable and common sense, I don't know why someone would even try to argue with that. Some parents and dog owners (worst combination) really are entitled, lazy fuckers.

Edited

I know you want me to be saying it, but I'm not saying a dog is more important. I'm saying a dog and child can be in the same space safely with sensible owners/parents.

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:01

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 06:59

I know you want me to be saying it, but I'm not saying a dog is more important. I'm saying a dog and child can be in the same space safely with sensible owners/parents.

You're not answering the question. Why does a dog need to be in a nursery setting when it can easily just be tied up and left at the gate?? This is what they do at my child's nursery.

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 07:02

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 06:59

What's wrong with tying it up? What is the actual issue? Isn't that just a nice thing to do if one of the children is terrified?

If I was with a dog and knew there was a nervous child, I'd just keep a distance from the child. It doesn't need to be a big issue

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:03

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 07:02

If I was with a dog and knew there was a nervous child, I'd just keep a distance from the child. It doesn't need to be a big issue

Exactly, so why are you making it such a big issue? Why can't you just tie it up and leave it at the gate like a decent human being?

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 07:03

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:01

You're not answering the question. Why does a dog need to be in a nursery setting when it can easily just be tied up and left at the gate?? This is what they do at my child's nursery.

I think a few dogs tied up at the gate not near their owners is more of a risk and means every child has to walk past them. Surely?
Is it not better for the owner to be in control of the dog and able to walk away from a nervous child?
Genuine question...

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:05

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 07:03

I think a few dogs tied up at the gate not near their owners is more of a risk and means every child has to walk past them. Surely?
Is it not better for the owner to be in control of the dog and able to walk away from a nervous child?
Genuine question...

Well no because you have a wide berth and you can avoid the dog. So again, why are you making this a big issue? It can only come down to being lazy, there's no other reason. You don't want to inconvenience yourself by spending an extra 1 or 2 minutes to do this. Genuine question.

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 07:07

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:05

Well no because you have a wide berth and you can avoid the dog. So again, why are you making this a big issue? It can only come down to being lazy, there's no other reason. You don't want to inconvenience yourself by spending an extra 1 or 2 minutes to do this. Genuine question.

Oh gosh, you think it's me making this into a big issue 🤣
Let's agree to disagree - have a nice day.

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:08

This reply has been deleted

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ShesTheAlbatross · 22/07/2025 07:09

Wolfpinkola · 21/07/2025 23:18

how would you feel about doing a little exposure therapy with your child and a known child friendly dog. I’m sure a dog owner would be happy to help, let him know they’re not scary.

She’s doing that. She’s said that she’s been getting her child more comfortable with her in laws’ dog, which is working.

TheNightingalesStarling · 22/07/2025 07:10

Why does the dog even have to go to the nursery to the first place?

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 07:11

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I've answered it. Are you unable to read? Or just unable to accept another viewpoint without being aggressive and rude.
You think it's safer to leave dogs tied by a gate. I think it's safer for the owner to have control of the dog. It's called a difference of opinion. You do you, and I'll do me.

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:11

TheNightingalesStarling · 22/07/2025 07:10

Why does the dog even have to go to the nursery to the first place?

Exactly, this is what I want someone to explain. Or why it can't be tied up. No one has a valid reason.

DarkForces · 22/07/2025 07:21

TheNightingalesStarling · 22/07/2025 07:10

Why does the dog even have to go to the nursery to the first place?

Why does anyone need a reason for going places they are allowed? Dogs are allowed in the drop off area. The nursery have clarified this to op and parents. Presumably they are combining dog walk and nursery drop off/pick up and don't want to risk their dog getting stolen.

HarLace1 · 22/07/2025 07:23

The nursery worker is 100% a dog owner. She's far too complacent about it and i think it's absolutely outrageous that they think dogs and nursery aged children are okay to mingle outside....it blows by mind!

Op I think you need to stand firm with this and maybe even give them an ultimatum, however be prepared to follow through with that if they continue to be so blase about your child's safety

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:26

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 07:11

I've answered it. Are you unable to read? Or just unable to accept another viewpoint without being aggressive and rude.
You think it's safer to leave dogs tied by a gate. I think it's safer for the owner to have control of the dog. It's called a difference of opinion. You do you, and I'll do me.

That's a cop out. If your dog is so dangerous it can't be left tied at the gate then it shouldn't be taken there at all. This is what most other nurseries do yet you want to debate this. I just don't get it.

Isitreallysohard · 22/07/2025 07:27

HarLace1 · 22/07/2025 07:23

The nursery worker is 100% a dog owner. She's far too complacent about it and i think it's absolutely outrageous that they think dogs and nursery aged children are okay to mingle outside....it blows by mind!

Op I think you need to stand firm with this and maybe even give them an ultimatum, however be prepared to follow through with that if they continue to be so blase about your child's safety

Just report them OP, it's clear by this thread people think their dog is far more important than a child's safety, real or perceived.

Newfluff · 22/07/2025 07:30

Melsy88 · 22/07/2025 06:59

I know you want me to be saying it, but I'm not saying a dog is more important. I'm saying a dog and child can be in the same space safely with sensible owners/parents.

I am happy to say it. I don't care much for children, I do think my dog is more important than other people's children.

Which is why I would never put it into a situation such as being in a nursery courtyard.

There is no such thing as a safe dog, living with children does not mean they are safe.

Being on a leash does not equal being under control, what exactly do you think you could do to stop a bite if a child ran over and hugged your dog?

Whyjustwhy83 · 22/07/2025 07:30

Some of these posts from dog owners are so entitled, agree dogs are everywhere but they really don't need to be at a nursery it's not animal one. Also I've 100% seen dog's attacking while on a lead so the(it's on a lead it's fine attitude is bs)

cooldarkroom · 22/07/2025 07:32

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/07/2025 18:25

it will all stop when a dog bites one of the kids.

Thats what I was thinking.

You could reply thank you for putting in writing that there has been no safe guarding assessment for dogs in a confined child exclusive area.

Step5678 · 22/07/2025 07:37

I'm with you OP. Drop off is an emotionally sensitive time for a toddler anyway, coming face to face with something they're afraid of is an awful way to start the day. Ignore the weirdly entitled dog owners who seem to have forgotten that their animals should be treated like animals.

We have a smiliar issue here with a drama club my son goes to in a local theatre, the number of parents who think that a theatre is a suitable place to bring a dog is surprising. One dog, a cavapoo type dog on a lead, bit a child (its owner's child) aged 2 or 3 while in the theatre, and they STILL bring it in every week to be surrounded by other children. the entitlement and lack of regard for other children's safety is shocking.