Hygiene warning given by nursery

[Katied1331]

Looking for some advice, our DD is attending a nursery for 15 hours and today we have been called in for a meeting as she apparently has severe nappy rash that they believe needs to be seen my a GP (granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix) they also insist on applying yellow cream at every nappy change something that we don't do as this created a problem with our other children! She has been sent home from nursery and not allowed back until she has seen a GP!

The nursery manager has since emailed us and requested a meeting on her hygiene (hair/clothes/previous nappy rash) she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough! Obviously I am upset that we are being called in but is this anything I should be worried about?!

Hard to say but they're right to flag up concerns.

You need to have her in clean clothes and you need to find a way to ensure her hair is not all tangled up. I'd also look to treat the nappy rash

This stuff is the basics tbh!

How often is she bathed? Does she go into nursery daily in clean clothes? Teeth brushing twice a day?

How long has she had this current nappy rash and what are you doing to treat it?

Hard to tell. They could be being over zealous or it could be a real concern. Only you know if she’s well cared for and her hygiene needs are being met.

Why haven't you already fixed it with a bit of cream then?

I've worked in many nurseries and schools and they don't call parents in over trivialities.
Sorry to be blunt but they obviously have some concerns around safeguarding/neglect.
I fear you are probably downplaying this OP.

What problems did 'yellow cream' (?) create with your other children?

It sounds like there's hygiene concerns in multiple areas (hair, clothes, nappy rash) so I'd say they are right to flag it.

What's your current hygiene routine with her? How often is she bathed, etc

This is building a picture of possible neglect-untreated nappy rash, dirty clothes, lack of hygiene etc. yesninwouldntake this seriously, could easily end up in a referral to children’s services.

I don't think any nursery would be worried by a one off nappy rash, it's so common. You've clearly painted a picture to them that she may not be receiving adequate care at home in terms of hygiene and I do think they are right to speak to you about it.

Did they look after your other children too? Have you provided your preferred cream for them to apply? Is her face clean at drop off/ teeth brushed/ hair tied back at least so it looks less untidy? Have you made them aware that she doesn't let you brush her hair and that's why it's messy?

Sorry lots of questions but the answers are important and might point to why nursery have raised a concern with you about it.

I think only you know the reality but the questions I have are:

• Did nursery raise the nappy rash first or did you? (If them, why hadn't you raised it with them and discussed a plan to tackle it?)
• How old is DD. You need to find a way to comb her hair. Yes curly hair can be trickier but there are lots of tutorials on how to manage it.
• Is this the first time clothing is being raised as a concern? Are you dressing her in clean clothes each day?

Nursery are doing their job in flagging up these concerns but obviously none of us know the full picture. Small children are vulnerable to harm and entirely reliant on parents/carers - extra safeguarding attention is given to their presentation.

OP, you need to take this seriously and reset how you care for your child. Concerns regarding so many hygiene issues are serious and you are lucky that your nursery is concerned.

It's really not an excuse that she won't allow you to brush her hair.

Nursery just want to know your child is safe and cared for. They have your child's best interests, go in explain what you do. They may offer advice or share concerns. It's your choice whether to take it on board or not.

No apparently she has severe nappy rash means you haven’t noticed yourself or see it as no issue? Are you washing her hair or not and not brushing? Is she wearing dirty clothes? Is she your first child?

It does sound like there may be an issue OP. When my son was little, he hated his face washed and teeth brushed but as the parent, you have to enforce it and get it done. There is no excuse for nappy rash at all. Nursery should mention it if it’s new then raise further if it’s not treated.
Go to the GP and the nursery meeting and move in from there

Keep curly hair in plaits to avoid tangles. My DD hated brushing too so it was plaits daily until she was older.

My daughter has curls that are a nightmare to brush and she hates me doing it but I let her watch tv/have a biscuit whilst I do it. Get some de tangling spray and a tangle teezer. Clean bum, brushed hair and teeth are non negotiables.

If you're being honest, maybe you have been a little lax with the hygiene? People can be like that with toddlers as they do get messy often.... or it's a battle

Then again, nurseries can be over the top with things. Like the sending home for nappy rash.

She should have clean clothes every day, hair doesn't have to be perfectly formed curls but shouldn't be matted. You need to take control of the situation. Buy a Tangle Teezer

In answer to your question “should I be worried about this?” I think the answer is perhaps, yes. You need to show the nursery that you are taking their concerns seriously otherwise it could result in a safeguarding referral to social services. Although that may eventually come to nothing if SS were happy that your DD is well and cared for, I’m sure you don’t want the stress of social workers becoming involved in your family life. I’d be bending over backwards to demonstrate to the nursery that you are happy to work with them to tackle the nappy rash and also ensure that she goes in every day looking fresh and clean and properly dressed and bathed. You need to brush her hair - bribe her with a chocolate button if needs be.

she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough

For my DCs ringlets we've found the best thing is to use a tangle teezer or comb with conditioner after shampooing. I wash it every other day usually.
We never use a brush, but we use the tangle teezer or just our fingers to deal with any tangles or really unruly bits between washes. I like the my little coco detailing water - it's really effective - and we use a little bit of their curl creme too after washing.

Yes to Tangle Teazer (or cut her hair shorter?).

There is a new type of Tangle Teazer called something like ‘gentle’. I have one and find it even better than the original type.

How old is DD?!

These are safeguarding concerns from the nursery. Nursery are right to flag it these things especially as you know there is a problem and yet have done nothing to address it.

Why haven't you used nappy cream if it's a little red? Bepantham is a great nappy cream for healing and acting as a barrier, but you may well need a GP to prescribe something instead by the sound of it!

she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough

My child doesn't get to decide if their hair is washed/brushed/cared for because they're 3. Personal hygiene will happen whether they 'allow it' or not. My 3yo has tight ringlets, it takes a bit of TLC if you're not used to curls (like me, straight hair, lots of trial and error and research!). Only brush when damp or wet, use a spray bottle, 'Wet Brush', or just run the hair brush under the tap before brushing gently, starting at the bottom of the hair and working up in sections to the root. Once detangled, plait for night time and either contain in silk bonnet or use silk pillow case - keeps it detangled for longer and is protective.

In short, yes you should be worried, nursery clearly are.

she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair
child young enough to be in nappies doesn't decide what's allowed.
Untreated nappy rash and unkept, I can see their concern.

I've worked with children for several years and never come across this, so it must be quite serious.

I combed/brushed my daughter's hair when it was washed. It was next to impossible to do it between times, as it's a mass of ringlets. I should point out it was washed about three times a week. I, therefore, have some sympathy with this. However, clean clothes and brushed teeth every day is a given. Nappy rash can, sometimes, be a bit stubborn, but should be dealt with.

Yes, you should be worried. Untreated nappy rash, unkempt hair and clothes - not OK.