Hygiene warning given by nursery

[Katied1331]

Looking for some advice, our DD is attending a nursery for 15 hours and today we have been called in for a meeting as she apparently has severe nappy rash that they believe needs to be seen my a GP (granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix) they also insist on applying yellow cream at every nappy change something that we don't do as this created a problem with our other children! She has been sent home from nursery and not allowed back until she has seen a GP!

The nursery manager has since emailed us and requested a meeting on her hygiene (hair/clothes/previous nappy rash) she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough! Obviously I am upset that we are being called in but is this anything I should be worried about?!

My DC had curls when they were younger. DC2's hair was fine and absolutely hated it being brushed and it looked tangled until about age three when it was easier to spray some leave in conditioner in it which tamed it.

There isn't any excuse for dirty clothes and the nappy rash is probably really hurting your child. What did you tell the nursery you have tried and done to try to resolve it to date?

I can just about understand the scruffy hair and occasional nappy rash but why the hell is she GOING to nursery in dirty clothes?

The nappy rash and bring clean are basics.
The nappy rash can be cured by cream at every nappy change - I expect they’re using Metanium (?) if it’s yellow clay like texture. You need to be applying sudocrem at every change if needed and ensuring she isn’t eating too much acidic food which will make it more inflamed. Why aren’t you doing that? The hair isn’t too big a concern for me but I agree that nursery wouldn’t flag these issues if they weren’t there so I expect you are minimising them somewhat. When my son had some nappy rash I kept him home with no nappy for a good couple of days, lots of oat baths and then used Sudocrem religiously. There’s no excuse for nappy rash really and so sore for them x

What's your excuse for the lack of clean clothes?

Yes, it must be bad for them to notice. It’s a classic safeguarding risk.

My DD had eczema and so couldn’t have very frequent baths (started off as 2 x week, we can now manage alternate days as she has started to grow out of it) - but she was always clean as she had a wash, completely clean set of clothes daily and clean-ish hair that we tied up. We were fairly fastidious about clothing as we couldn’t use much on her skin-so clean pyjamas every night and clothes were washed after one wear.

She always looked and smelt good despite the relatively infrequent baths so there’s no excuse.

Yeah irs give them the image that you neglect her...because they've picked up on 3 things.

I'd make sure she wears clean clothes everyday. How dirty are her clothes?
Also try to comb her hair like the others have said. Make it for her. Even use a bit of coconut oil to help it. As for the nappy rash there's a white cream called timodine the doctors give...

Yes I am being blunt, stop the excuses and actually care for your child before they call social services

They are not saying it for fun they have a duty of care

Also if she's 3 (assuming this as she's got the 15 hours) then she should really be potty trained, if no additional needs.

They could make a safeguarding referral if they feel there are fundamental issues you are not addressing. Why are you so against the yellow cream (Metanium?). The rash could be fungal and need a prescription to address it. Do you need to change her more frequently? Can you tie her hair back or use conditioner or leave in spray to make it less difficult to brush?

OP I can empathise, and I think you’ve been given a bit of a hard time here.

My DDs nursery went through a phase of being obsessed with putting Sudocrem on her bits, every nappy change. There was nothing wrong with her. At most, there was sometimes a slight bit of redness that came with sitting in a wee nappy for too long (on their watch, mind!). But nothing that wouldn’t go away after a simple wipe with a wet flannel. I didn’t agree with slathering her delicate bits with Sudocrem constantly, but they were obsessed with her needing cream for her “rash”. We’d send it in, they’d lose it and sternly ask us for more. You have to remember that nurseries are generally underfunded, workers are underpaid, they’re just doing their best.

I can also empathise with the hair - I’ve had one with tight curls that hated being brushed. Keep it short (bob length), keep trying different hair brushes (we’ve found a simple paddle brush to be gentlest), trial and error. We pop the front in clips or a top knot and leave the rest a loose bob. Trying to wrestle a nursery-aged childs hair into a full ponytail or plaits is a fools errand.

To answer your original question, all you can do is meet with nursery and cooperate. Turn up looking well-kempt yourself, and with a friendly and cooperative disposition (not argumentative). Take their advice on board. It will be fine.

Unless you are doing something which indicates actual neglect (sending her in dirty/smelly clothes, leaving a sore rash untreated, never bathing her and sending her in smelly, etc), you will be fine.

I worked around dd1s ringlets with a lot of conditioner and leave in spray. Their nursery clothes were often quite tired looking as they got filthy at nursery but were always clean. Nursery know kids get mucky and nappy rash exists so they must have concerns if they have raised it.

Metanium worked really well for dd1, made dd2 very sore though, almost looked like it blistered her. Bepanthem suited her much better.

Basic hygiene is non negotiable in a 3 year old She doesn't get to call the shots
I remember( gently) pinning my son down to brush his teeth more than once
Sorry, but they would not be calling you in if they were trivial issues.
Altogether it paints a picture of neglect which if you do not act now is likely to be referred to children's services
Why are you regularly sending her in dirty clothes( they would over look a once off)
Bath as part of bedtime wind down
Quick face and hand wash and teeth brush and into fresh clothes
Do you not do this yourself
Your child must be safe clean fed and appropriately clothed
Regarding the nappy rash.. That is pure neglect and so painful for her
Treat regularly with bepathen or whatever option you prefer. It's your choice as you are her parent
See GP if rash won't clear up by creaming regularly as it can be fungal( especially if left in nappies too long.

If we have concerns we will speak to parents. We would hope that the parent would talk to us about any concerns/difficulties they have.

Cream will be applied for nappy rash if you have given permission for this. If you haven't then perhaps discuss concerns with it if you feel it is contributing to any soreness.

We expect children to arrive looking like they are clean and cared for. You can tell fresh dirt against older dirt. If hair is getting tangled and matted for days at a time we would be concerned. Persistent nappy rash - especially if it worsens away from nursery care - would also be a concern.

You don't have to worry but you do need to talk to your nursery and discuss the issues. They will be willing to support you if you need help. For instance if your child fights hair brushing they may be able to work with you to find strategies that help her accept it.

Safeguarding means they may ask for outside help if they feel you aren't interested in changing or discussing things.

DD has curly hair and isn't keen on brushing, we keep it in plats so it doesn't get tangled. Each morning it gets undone, sprayed with detangler, quick brush (she's OK with this as there are no knots) then re-plated. I do the plats one at a time, so I don't even need to do partings. At bedtime I take out any hairslids or scrunchies but leave the plats in overnight.

Cloths really should be clean every day, but maybe you can simply her outfits, to make it easier to keep on top of. DD mostly just has leggins and a top every day, and 30 pares of identical plain socks. It's all colours and easy to wash fabric, so everything goes in together, 1h at 30° and comes out OK. I also have a massive washing machine, so can fit a weeks worth of toddler cloths all in at once.

The nappy rash, you do need to get on top of. I did find the yellow cream (metonium) worked quite well the odd time mine got it badly. Put it on a small amount at each change and let it dry for a minute before putting the new nappy on, generally that cleared it within a day for mine (though that will depend how bad it is)

Put sudocrem on after every nappy change. Use water and reusable cloths to clean the bottom.
Get a detangler brush and brush twice a day, with a water spray bottle and use a bit of hair serum.
Brush teeth twice a day.

No excuses really.

They clearly suspect that she is being neglected.

It sounds as though you are minimising things to be honest.
Most children don’t enjoy having their hair brushed. Regular baths, including hair washes with conditioner are important. Get a spray bottle of detangler and a brush and plonk her in front of CBeebies or something and she will soon get used to it.

They may refer you to Social Services who may visit you at home.

I absolutely hate ‘my child won’t let me’. Seen it with ‘my child won’t take their medicine/wash their face/ brush their hair’.

when it’s for the child’s well-being, that trumps the tantrum they’ll throw for 2 minutes.

I was always told to make sure that the baby/ toddler is completely dry before applying a barrier cream like sudocrem or it could make the problem worse. As much as we can with a nappy rash we will wash them in a shallow bath of water (wiping hurts too much) and then lay them out on the towel for 5 minutes to fully air dry, then its cream and nappy. I've found this can work wonders very quickly in clearing a rash up.

Get a doctor's appointment in the morning, if the doctor says it is just ordinary nappy rash get the cream slathered on & put some in her bag for nursery. Could it be the type of nappies you use, would she be better in reusable or a different brand. She needs a bath at least 3 times a week, get some bath toys & make it a game, every time she has a bath, wash her hair, use conditioner & then detangling spray every day with a wide toothed comb, or a brush like a tangle teaser or a head jog mane tamer, tie her hair back if it is long enough. You need to get some cheap clothes so she has at least a couple of sets per day for nursery, leggings & tops are cheap to buy in multi packs or have a root around charity shops, you can often get some nice branded stuff for a fraction of the original price. Have you started potty training? That is one thing you can do to work towards curing the nappy rash, you will need plenty of changes of clothes to cope with accidents, summer is a good time to start as they wear less clothes & it is easy for them to run around at home with as little as possible on their bottom half to catch them when they need the potty.

I hear you, we do battle with our 3 year old daily, the most random clothing choices ever assembled, hates having her hair brushed, she's tough. Might be worth asking the nursery what they would suggest, they're supposed to be experts in caring for children (at least thats what they say about themselves on their website for ours)

It must be pretty bad if the nursery have flagged it up to you.

Nurseries are used to seeing children messy and looking a bit feral at times. Mine often came home looking like they had bathed in paint, sand and mud. Clothes were stained from the crafts and often the food they served.

My own dc are soap dodgers and will do anything to get out of washing or brushing their hair. That's what children do. There has been the off time when mine have gone too long between baths for whatever reason.

My pre teen is in a stage of wanting to wear two particular outfits and will chance rewearing clothes she has dumped in a screwed up pile on the floor. Sometimes I let this go for peace and harmony.
My children always have mucky finger nails because we tend the veg patch and flower garden together every day. Gloves don't prevent them getting muddy.

Despite all the above. I have never had neglect flagged as an issue.
There is a difference between an expected level of unkemptness, that lots of children have due to being busy and into everything, or the odd morning rush when hair looks a bit messy and a child who is not having their health and hygiene needs met. For a nursery who cares for presumably 100s of children to flag it I expect it's moving towards the latter.

It's difficult to keep on top of everything op and hygiene routines or standards don't come naturally to everyone so don't worry just listen to what they suggest and try implementing some new bits to make your children a bit more hygienic and clean day to day. You don't need to go to elaborate lengths. just an extra bath a week, flannel wash with mild soap and some soft bobbles to tie hair up each day. Also a pp suggested some cheap supermarket multipacks of leggings and tops.

Cut her hair short until she gets better about it being combed. If she’s three, surely you should be toilet training?

the ‘yellow cream’ is the specific anti fungal treatment. Babies can get yeast infections which cause the nappy rash and make it sore for them. It’s also an infection risk in the nursery as can spread to others. If you google it you’ll see the rash pattern is more than just some redness so it is somewhat obvious when it starts.

at this point sudocreme wont work if it is fungal and you should be using water/cotton pads for each poo to clean the area, the yellow cream and making sure the area is kept as dry as possible. More frequent nappy changes an you must wash your hands after each change.

YABU - nursery has a duty of care and have seen hundreds of babies. They wouldn’t call you in if it was fine. Have your standards dropped over time so perhaps you don’t notice? Put your child in clean clothes every day and wash clothes every night to stop spread of infection. Your kids rely on you to do this even if they don’t want to coz you are the parent. And they are cute little gremlins who can’t manage their own lives.

id suggest listening to them and having an open mind.

I think your child is in danger of being that child that nobody wants to sit next to in class because they smell. I don't think you want that for them.

Being fair about it one of my children got very bad nappy rash despite very frequent changing and the GP's special creams were useless. It wasn't a question of neglect. Eventually a dermatologist brought it under control with oral antifungal medication. However, we were trying to do everything we could about the nappy rash and definitely knew about it and had a history of very sensitive skin. (My own mother had been a nanny and she stayed home when I was born and she was fanatically clean and still my baby book has multiple entries for the latest thing they were trying for nappy rash.)

Your toddler mightn't like their hair being combed but you're not running a democracy. You are in charge - she is only three. I have hair that is prone to tangling so I comb it with a wide tooth comb before shampooing and rinse and then put conditioner on which I comb through with the same comb and rinse. Some leave in conditioner/detangler spray might help. Would losing a few inches in length make it more manageable? You only talk about trying to comb the hair and you make no mention of washing it. I do hope it gets washed because hair can look greasy and smell.

I did clip and clean fingernails and toenails. And I helped/brushed teeth morning and night. (I know a family where the father brushed the teeth of all four of them whether they were willing or not and they did have great teeth.)

I didn't send my youngest to nursery in good clothes. The clothes were washed and fitted them but not expensive and we made sure they had enough warm layers and had a change of clothes in their bag in case of accidents.

Do you have a partner? Does he do his share?