Hygiene warning given by nursery

[Katied1331]

Looking for some advice, our DD is attending a nursery for 15 hours and today we have been called in for a meeting as she apparently has severe nappy rash that they believe needs to be seen my a GP (granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix) they also insist on applying yellow cream at every nappy change something that we don't do as this created a problem with our other children! She has been sent home from nursery and not allowed back until she has seen a GP!

The nursery manager has since emailed us and requested a meeting on her hygiene (hair/clothes/previous nappy rash) she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough! Obviously I am upset that we are being called in but is this anything I should be worried about?!

I’m not sure this is that helpful to an OP who’s clearly looking to minimise her inability (or unwillingness) to keep her child clean. Nurseries are used to seeing children looking messy at times, yes, but if the children are well cared for by their parents those times will be at the end of a day at nursery, not the start of it. It’s not common practice to put children back into dirty clothes, for them to have permanently dirty hands or to go too long without washing, as you describe. If OP’s nursery have flagged concerns about her hygiene, they’re rightly going to be keeping a close eye on the little girl and one extra bath a week isn’t going to cut it. OP needs to be bathing or showering her every day, putting the right nappy cream on, combing her hair through with conditioner and making sure she has a completely clean outfit head to toe.

OP, I would also really prioritise looking after her teeth properly (which I can’t imagine is currently being done to the right standard alongside these other concerns). The impacts of not having your teeth well looked after as a child last your whole life and make a huge impact on your appearance, your confidence, opportunities etc as well as potentially causing painful and expensive problems. Your daughter should also be potty trained at three.

I would be pretty worried if I were you.

Why is your child being sent to nursery with severe nappy rash and unbrushed hair to start with?

What are the concerns they have about her clothes - are you not sending her with clean or properly fitting things?

It might not be that the nursery thinks the nappy rash is serious enough to warrant a visit to the GP, it's possible that - due to the other perceived hygiene concerns - they are just keen to get your DD seen by a professional who knows your family.

I worked in a nursery setting for around 15 years and I can think of one occasion where we had true concern over a child's hygiene. I don't think it was a direct meeting with parents, Social Services came out to see the child in the setting and noted our concerns. They were already involved with the child but the manager had contacted them because the child was coming in with dirty skin and hair, nappy rash and had worn the same socks for a week that were visibly dirty. She also wore old torn, dirty, clothes in several sizes too big. So it's good that you have this opportunity to change things and get help before you end up with a situation like I've described. The nursery aren't concerned over things like the odd day of messy hair, a food stain round their mouth. It's when it's all the time, neglected hygiene can form part of the bigger picture.

For her hair, look up curly girl method.

Have you provided a cream for her nappy rash? Is she going in clean or is she grubby?

@Katied1331 if you come back please please please take thia very seriously. For the nursery to have raised concerns then this isn't just "a bit of nappy rash". You need to start being honest with yourself.

I assume by yellow cream you mean metamium, it isn't right for every child but there are other options and not using anything is irresponsible and neglectful.

The nursery has a duty of care to your child, this can be a safeguarding issue and can be a sign there are bigger problems in the child's life.

They are doing their job and protecting your child.

granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix)

You’re a bit blasé about something causing your daughter distress, OP. You talk as if it’s a machine, not a child.

Provide them with cream you are happy for them to use.

Sort her clothes out - whats wrong with them?

You're going to have to work on her hair. It's not uncommon for kids to have messy hair so they must have real concerns.

And if a little cream will fix her nappy rash then use it and give them some at nursery so they don't use "yellow cream"

Kids don't need bathing or showering daily, especially ones with nappy rash.

However they do need to look like someone cares about them and it's clear this child doesn't.

Weleda do a very good nappy cream if you know she reacts to others.

Check the cream - get them to use a different one - there's a preservative Methylisothiazolinone which is in some creams/wipes/bubble bath etc. which my DS2 was very reactive to - one wipe with the wrong wipe and his bum was immediately red and if you carried on would get so bad it bled.

Check the 'yellow cream' - I bet it has it in, and could be causing rather than curing the rash.

Honestly- yes you should be worried.

They don't call these meeting over nothing. Nappy rash happens, but you should have immediately been applying cream and mentioned it to the staff.

She needs to be clean, brushed hair and teeth etc. it's basic parenting/care/hygiene.

You really must be working with the nursery on this one.

Daily washing with proper drying and treatment isn’t going to worsen nappy rash, more likely that less frequent washing will in a three year old who still wears nappies. Presentationally I’d have thought it would also be much better for OP now if her daughter was clean as a whistle every day. The nursery staff will quite rightly be watching like hawks and talking to each other about the little girl’s appearance - what might normally be signs of a well cared for child who’s in between every-other-day baths will in this case probably be written down and feed into a picture they already have of OP and her partner that they need to try to change ASAP.

Probably been mentioned already but the yellow cream will be metanium which works wonders on nappy rash. I find sudocrem great for daily use and then if there's a bit of redness from acidic teething poos or a few poos in the day, nappy free time and metanium stop any potential rash in its tracks. I saw a boy with horrendous nappy rash in hospital when I had mine in for reflux and it can get very dangerous :(

Just accept the nursery is acting responsibly and go to the meeting willing to listen and not be on the defensive, and put actions into place. Hair wise, my sister had hair like that and had a hatred of hair brushing because it had previously hurt so she associated it with pain, can you incorporate a hair care routine into her bath so you use the right products and brush her hair with a tangle teaser in the bath and then dry and plait before bed to prevent getting more?

So the OP never returned?

OP, yes. In short you should be worried enough that this spurs you into action.
The next step from the nursery will be a referral to social services. In fact you are lucky that they've graced you with this opportunity and haven't just made a referral based on their concerns.

All that they mention needs to change, quickly.

I don't think OP will be back.

Yes you should be worried. these are basic needs you are failing to meet

In terms of nappy rash even a small amount can be really sore so you really do need to clear that. We were told zinc based nappy creams are really good for that - we use Weleda Calendula cream. When they have nappy rash you do need to apply it every time you are putting on a new nappy! As someone else suggested try giving her a bit of air drying time too - my daughter had two bouts of bad nappy rash as a baby and we found that worked well.

When the rash clears you do not have to apply it every nappy change but you should use a barrier cream for the first and last nappy change of the day and after poos. If you have to wipe you are removing the barrier so need to reapply!

Hair brushing - my 2.5year old daughter is very defiant and likes to be in control which has made hair brushing really hard! It has taken months to get to where some days she will have her hair tied up for the day. What I’ve been doing is making hair brushing a bit of a game - I’ve put clips in my hair, her dad’s hair, bright coloured bobbins etc. When she refuses to brush her hair I’ll say “that’s okay, I’m going to brush my hair/dolly’s hair” or “daddy will you brush mammy’s hair” - she get’s curious/jealous - will want to brush my hair and/or get her hair brushed. I bought her an array of clips with things she likes on them and in the mornings I ask her to choose her bobbin colours - some days we have five bobbins per pony tail and they’re often pulled out before nursery. Some days she looks lovely for nursery and other days she looks like she has been dragged through a bush!

Before we got to the point where we brush each others hair (or I get smacked about with a hairbrush) I used to sneak a stealth brush here and there as I walked past her and would try and hypnotise her with telly and then get in there quickly! My hair is wavy and I find a good leave in conditioner works well!

OP, whats the problem with DDs clothes? I have a chold who has sensory issues, so he will rub food over himself and rub food into his clothes and skin, flipping nightmare..
We go through outfits like crazy.

Please pop to primark, then do basic packs of socks for £2.80 for 10 pairs, shorts and t shirts for £1.30 each, jogging bottoms for £2.30, matching jumpers for the same price.

She probably won't be the most fashionable kid in the room, but at that price you can have a decent stock of clothes so there are spares if you ever get caught short with the washing. Buy clothes in similar colours so you can wash more in less different loads.

In regards to cleanliness, honestly just chuck her in the bath each night, make it part of her night time routine before bed.

Barrier cream, such as the medicated yellow cream, has to be applied on air dry skin...then it will work. Leave as much nappy free time as you can between changes and change frequently. Can you imagine how painful this rash must be for the child? It is manageable and they are right to bring it to your attention

I see plenty of dc with unbrushed hair at nursery or school....sometimes my dds included when they were young and brushing hair was an issue. But always bathed, clean clothing etc. And the one time eldest had nappy rash and nursery wanted to put the yellow cream we let them and took up their suggestion and bought it! The reason you are being looked at most likely is instead of listening to the nursery concerns and suggestions you fought them on it.....

I hope you are okay, OP.

Only you know your daughter's hygiene routine.
As long as she is bathed regularly, has clean clothes everyday, hair washed and brushed and nappy cream applied, then you have nothing to worry about.

It is so easy to feel overwhelmed as a mum with young children (mine are much older now, but I have been there myself).
Is there anyone you can call for support/ advice if you are feeling low or anxious?
Maybe have a chat with your Health Visitor or GP?
They won't judge you, I promise.

As regards the nursery meeting, please try not to worry (easier said than done I know).
They honestly only have your daughter's best interests at heart, and probably just want to check that you are feeling okay.
You only need to tell them your daughter's hygiene routine, and if there is anything they can support with.

It is clear from your OP that you care for your daughter, and want to do everything you can.
Remember these people only want to make sure that all is well.