How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

If I were you, I’d cancel the venue and maybe the accommodation. Those are sunk costs. Then you have whatever is left in your budget to have a civil ceremony and a decent meal and drinks for 25 people somewhere nice. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. You could afford photographs. If guests want to stay over or has travelled they can fend for themselves in the self catered accommodation. It sounds like they’ll understand. I understand cultural differences, but it doesn’t sound like you’re going to be able to manage, so I’d reframe the whole thing.

Sounds as if food and drink are your biggest outlay. You might need to think outside the box a bit.
Drink sale or return from Majestic, or buy from Costco or see if a local brewery will do small kegs.
Costco for basics to go in each cottage and let people know what meals you will be catering and what they will be doing themselves. Is there a catering college nearby, would that be a cheaper alternative? Local teenage neighbours can be roped in to serve.
For things you are catering yourself a lot can be bought in advance, use loyalty cards to get points to spend. Get a card which gives you cash back. Make every small saving contribute to shaving down the budget.
Make your cake yourself. Decorate with fresh flowers.
Rope in others to help you where you can.

Maybe we were at the same one 🥰

For our wedding we hired a catering size BBQ and had burgers, sausages, chicken etc. salads on the side etc was very cost effective if something like that could work for you.
disposable cameras on the tables, got some great pics that way.
ask guests to share pics and videos with you

I’m thinking about bridesmaids gifts. To me it wouldn’t be important at all…as you say it would be something I just wouldn’t want anyway. But I get that others are saying the opposite so maybe it is important to some people. So how about getting them something like a framed photo if you have a great photo of them and you. Something like that would be personal and cheap and thoughtful. A gift that might genuinely mean something and be up on their wall or on the mantelpiece. Just a thought

If you absolutely have to have the dress, could you put the cost on a zero percent credit card? You could then pay off a hefty chunk when you sell it? That would free up the £3k for the food budget. I can't see any other way of catering property for your guests and having the dress you want.

my best tip is get on a wedding FB group for the county where the wedding is happening. A) lots of people giving away previously used decorations B) lots of suppliers who will vie for your business c) lots of good suggestions about who might be able to supply you affordably. I found very cheap catering via ours and a v reasonable hairdresser too.

Overall I would say give people one brilliant day. People will be happy to spend time with you, eat pastries and batch cooked whatever on the other days. One afternoon of nice food, music, enjoyment. That’s all you need to provide really.

And get a (non wedding) dressmaker to clone the dress. Bet you can get something far cheaper. I’m sorry for whatever change in circumstances has brought this about, I get the feeling it’s a tough time.

Cut your losses on the venue and book somewhere you actually live near.

Also cancel anything you were going to spend on hen/stag dos.

1. Videographer cut altogether - agree
2. Hair and makeup for second day only - yes to hair, do your own make up
3. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermarket flowers?) - yes it’s fairly easy - there are videos online of how to make them look good
4. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own? - I would set a colour them buy them second hand. The styles don’t need to match. Don’t make them buy their own.
5. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them) - I think you will need to hire these
6. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day - yes
7. All entertainers cut - yes - are any of your friends or relatives musicians or magicians?
8. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids - these can be a nice card with a voucher for a future gift from you - eg dinner at yours after the honeymoon
9. Cut wedding favours Yes

Please still feed and offer alcohol to your guests on one of the days. Day 2?

To be fair it may not be the dress she wanted. Tho found one for £4k that was gold and can rent/hire that

I think most of your cut list is OK, but unless you have some talented photographers in your guest list you will regret not having nice quality pictures of your wedding. Ditto on hair and makeup - are you good at doing these yourself or do you have a guest who can help you with these?

I used supermarket flowers for my bouquet, I think it's an easy expense to cut. For decorations I bought potted roses and some candles and mirrors for my centrepieces because they were cheaper than floral displays and guests were able to take them with them at the end of the evening.

Alcohol, we bulk bought from a cash and carry. You can ask guests to bring a bottle of whatever they like with them.

For food, don't scrimp on this too much. I think 2 catered meals should still be prioritised (especially over your dream dress). But you could also ask people to bring some food with them for a pot luck affair for the first night to save on some costs.

For our wedding, the most cost effective option we came across with decent food was to hire out a local pub for lunch at £20 a head, but that was 10 years ago and we had 80 guests on a weekday so it was easier to negotiate that with the pub. Is there a local pub you could do something similar with? You have a 3 day wedding so maybe one of those days falls on a normally quiet day and the pub could cut you a decent rate to get punters in?

I think you should keep at least one entertainer (e.g. a band or MC) - we made the mistake of using a preset playlist that we created for the wedding and it made it much harder to get people on the dance floor as it was catered to me and DH's taste and couldn't be adapted to drag the older people onto the dancefloor! The ceilidh band we had was a hit though. If I had our time again, I'd have hired a DJ.

People don't need favours - might be cheaper to have a photo booth or some Polaroid cameras distributed so people can take some fun snaps and that acts as the favour

The nice thing about a cheap wedding is it often has a more community feel about it - some of my favourite weddings have been low budget.

Good luck OP!

Also this may not help @dandiesc but can you change the whole way you see the event? Not a three day wedding but a holiday with your closest family and friends with a wedding in the middle of it. Not a huge budget cut making everything crap but a low budget, everyone chip in affair. My own wedding was much in that style and it was so nice friends still talk about it to me now. Yours will be nice too.

One thing we did was get close family to contribute things rather than give gifts. Eg cousin contributed the flowers. And consider people’s skills. Do you have a good flower arranger, a musician, an efficient batch cook in the family?

Off the cuff...

1. Scrap the photography altogether. Nominate people to take key photos, if you have kids coming, beg borrow or buy some cheap digitally cameras and let them run riot.
2. flowers...look at fake, my bridesmaid ones were dirt cheap off etsy
3. Scrap the formal catering. If everyone is close and knows the situation they will surely be happy to chip in and help cook etc.
4. explain the situation to your bridal party, ask them to provide their own outfits 5)Scrap the hair and make up professionals, you cant afford it. Do it yourself
5. adjust your idea for a dress. You cant afford 4k on a dress.

Are you buying or renting the Groomsman outfits? Rental should be cheaper.

That's tough. I catered my own wedding and made the cakes, etc, to keep costs down.

I'm assuming it's this dress?

Would the others I've posted work as a compromise? That would save a few 1000.

Or use costco/M&S or another similar place to order pre prepared plates, etc, from. That would save a lot.
2 years ago we had hog roast, with trimmings, salads, etc, and veggie/GF alternatives for 120 people. It was really good and some leftover. Cost was £1500 all in, inc 2 ppl to cook and serve the food.... maybe you could find something similar, but vegetarian? Should be cheaper for 25 guests.

Good luck.
Cutting videographer is sensible, as is make up and favours/bridesmaid gifts.

Ask them to wear X colour from their own wardrobe, or cut down the nos. of bridesmaids and groomsmen to bring the cost of bought outfits down.

Re the hen/stag... you shouldn't really be funding this, so let guests know it's £30/head or whatever, or.... bring own booze, and do a joint order for pizza (or whatever) and everyone pays for their own food.

💐🏵

This is a good idea....

Making up a breakfast/lunch hamper for all cottages could be a good way to go to cut costs. Do everyone the same, unless allergies, etc. Have it already in the fridge of each cottage with a little note explaining.

1. Videographer cut altogether - yes
2. Hair and makeup for second day only - yes to hair, do your own make up
3. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermarket flowers?) - yes. Use in season flowers if possible, as cheaper. Got any friends with gardens? See what they’ve got that you can use. I’ve got gorgeous peonies in my own garden! Not for budget reasons, but we married in September, and hydrangeas were cheap and plentiful then. They looked really good as table arrangements.
4. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own? - Yes, it’s rude. Let them wear something they’ve already got. I let my BM choose her own dress (I paid) and she chose black. She looked great. Maybe go for black? It looks chic and most of them are likely to have a LBD.
5. Groomsman outfits - Hire (and pay for them yourself).
6. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day - yes
7. All entertainers cut - yes - bar a DJ for the main party
8. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids - yes.
9. Cut wedding favours - these are mostly tag in any case.

We had a 2 day wedding ourselves, given most of the guests came from overseas, so we hosted dinners on the night before, and paid for accommodation (cultural thing), so I get you. However,

1. Catering … These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? Absolutely not. You cannot expect no catering to be offered too guests.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these? I would provide a basic hamper of products (source from Costco or similar) but otherwise let guests sort their own meals/cooking/shopping, provided you have the main event meals catered. Is there an onsite BBQ or pizza oven?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut? Let people BYO. You’re providing drinks at main events and that’s enough.
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total. In years to come, you will look at that dream dress, and regret spaffing 3k on it. My dress is in a wardrobe, never to be worn again, with mud on the bottom that even dry cleaning didn’t get out.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in the cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect. There seems to be a lot of drinking in your culture? Scrap the decorations. Provide one bottle per cottage and ask guests to BYO.

You can't afford a 3 day wedding at a £4k location where you're all staying in rental cottages. Cultural or not you need a new wedding plan. It's goinf to be stressful and frankly miserable trying to do a 3 day wedding at a £4k location on the budget you have. Or if it means that much to you get a credit card. In 10 years time you'll wonder what in earth you were thinking.

You could probably get an up and coming freelance photographer to do all the photography for free on a TFP basis. Check out Purpleport.

For hair and wedding make-up. Do you have a friend of any of the bridesmaids who could do this for for you?

Flowers...do they need to be real? I would just order some cheap artifical ones..nobody would really know.

For drinks...I went to a wedding and had to paid for own drinks.. I wouldn't have a free bar. Food is different imho. I would mainly paid for this. It's important.

Ask for cash gifts as a wedding present. The same wedding I went to asked for money. Made it easier for everyone imho.

Look at alternatives for a wedding dress. You absolutely cannot ask the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses which they will probably only wear once. Put a budget on them. They don't need to cost the earth.

I wouldn’t cut the dress. If I was your friend, i’d be happy to pitch in to cook on non wedding days so you can keep the dress. It looks like it has great re-sale value too. I’d say those catering costs are mad. Takeaway pizza? We had a work event and with a lunchtime code, got pizza for 25 people for £100 and had some left over. We got some sides on that too, and bought drinks from supermarket. I don’t think you need to supply too much alcohol, explain the situation to your guest and ask them to bring a bottle. I’m sure catering non wedding days you can bring right down, and I wouldn’t mind cooking if I was your friend.

And yes OP, sorry to say but mumsnet is like this all the time. Some comments are uncalled for. Are you all so shallow that you wouldn’t understands costs have to be cut? I can see why people are saying about the dress, but I do feel like you’ll hugely regret it, and you’ll re-coup some costs. If I was a good friend, i’d buy the dress for you, sell it after and let you pay me back over 12 months. Obviously i’d never ask anyone to do that for me, but if a friend confided in me about this situation and I could afford it, i’d offer.

My SIL has started a photography course at a local college, evening class. I bet a similar group would offer to come for practice, or ask any guests if they have photography skills and a good camera.

OP I know right now you are very focused on the dream dress and how important that is. But in reality, isn't it more important to prioritise the relationships you have with your guests. That will be important in the years to come. Don't treat them badly.

I would start by finding a cheaper dress and by not having a wedding party at all. You can't spend thousands on a dress just for yourself and expect everyone else to buy their own outfits and not even give them a gift. It comes across as rude.

There must be cheaper catered food options. Spend time looking for those.

Provide a more limited choice of alcohol, this cuts down on waste. Just buy the things that you know most people like.

But treat your guests like guests. You don't want to look back on photos in 5 years and realise you have very little contact with the people you were once close enough to invite to a very small wedding because they are offended at how they were treated.

I’ve only ever been to one wedding with a paid bar, perfectly normal to buy your own drinks at a wedding.

Please don't do it !!!! Cancel it all ... go to a register and if you have that kind of money put it down on a first house at least if the marriage dosnt work out you will still have property that you can sell and split the profits.. I do hope it dose work out for you but I've been married twice and engaged 5 times ... none have worked out but I wish I'd used the money wisely instead of being stuck in a council house. Think about it guys.