How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

We had 3 nights for 28 people in a big house for our wedding. We took lasagne for the first night, the next day was the wedding and the catered wedding breakfast to which extra guests were invited, the third night we bbqd. We had a huge Sainsbury’s delivery and pitched in making breakfast, lunch and salads for dinner, stacking the dishwasher etc. Essentially it was a big family get together with a wedding for 50 guests in the middle. It did involve people flying in from the other side of the world. I’m not quite sure whether this wedding is a similar sort of vibe or whether there are more formal events?

3k for a dress is ridiculous! Find something else.

A hog roast is a bad idea for a party of 25 people with lots of vegetarians. I would go with really nice vegetarian options and limit choices of to avoid waste/increased costs

Im sorry but you need to be sensible on the dress. Keep looking and find something you love and can afford. Ditch the favours, no one will miss them. You definitely need to dress your bridesmaids but ask if they will wear their own shoes and explain you can’t afford professional makeup and hair

Really

op said there is no way she could rent

amazing you found it straight away

Maybe have a look at this thread for ideas @dandiesc

You need catered meal and entertainment on the day

what will you do if no entertainment

What are things you remember about weddings you've gone to? In my case it's the food, company and having a good dance!

Can you cut your wedding party? If you've already asked people, then no.

Videographer - cut. You'll never watch it.

Photographer - I dont think I'd bother getting a professional photographer if I was getting married again. Everyone has camera phones and I bet some guests have proper cameras and will be quite happy to be asked to use them. Just let everyone know you want photos.

Flowers - if you need them at all, supermarket.

Favours and wedding party gifts - drop them. No one cares.

Decorations - can easily cut them. The venue will have some and no one will remember.

Make up - you and your BMs can do your own make up. Plus you tend to have to pay for trials etc.

Hair - you and BMs can probably do your own.

Wedding party clothes - either tell them they can wear what they like (maybe with some small caveats eg no black) or pay up. You can always tell them you'll buy the dress but they need to sort shoes and accessories.

BM clothes if you buy them - look at "normal" shops not bridal ones.

Suits - rent

Dress - you cant assume you'll be able to sell it. Have you spoken to any dress makers? It will still be expensive but less. I'm stuck on this because I got a dress I didnt like and as stupid as it sounds 20 years later, I still regret it. I know, I'm lucky if that is all that takes up space in my head!

Food - for breakfast think hotel eg fancy continental or an english breakfast. People will be getting up at different times, not everyone will even eat breakfast. If there is lots of drinking, will anyone want to cook/be social the next morning?
Lunch - buffet. No one will expect a big lunch and big evening meal.
Evening meal - spend your money on this.

Alcohol - I've never been to a wedding where it was provided. Do you need alcohol on all the days? If people aren't going to be driving, they might over-indulge and be hung over for all of it. I'd maybe tell people that "all food is provided and there will be a free bar on the wedding day. Feel free to bring your own alcohol for the other days". I'd maybe put a couple of bottles of wine/beer in the cottages in case people want a glass but nothing else. I wouldn't be spending loads on alcohol though tbh.

Entertainment - party games and board games. Seriously! My guests all played board games the night before we got married and it was great fun and got everyone talking to people they didnt know.
A band on the evening of your wedding would be nice but most weddings just hire a dj.

Just be aware if you've not already asked - the venue may insist on only approved suppliers for food/dj etc.

Also, talk to the venue and tell them you have had to cut back and see where they can help. If you make it sound like you might have to cancel, they will possibly find some areas they can reduce costs for eg one venue we looked at said "decorations included" but when you asked, they said they were actually optional and if you didnt use them, you'd save some money. They might not but it's worth a go.

I also think as a guest I would much rather attend a one day catered event than a 3 day event where I was expected to bring things (beyond wine) and cook it. To me that’s hard work and not how I want to spend celebrating a wedding. So I really urge you to rethink the number of days

Can’t believe some of the numbers you’re considering for catering a wedding of less than 30 people ! You’ve paid for the cottages so supply a breakfast hamper say £10 a head so £300 and consider a takeaway for the catered meals - sorry but things like hog roasts , pizza vans and catering just sound ridiculous for a small group. Videographer nope , photographer only for a half day max or you’ll end up with hundreds photos of the same group of guests. How many bridesmaids and groomsmen are there ? 25 guests in total I’d expect 4 max or else the wedding party will be disproportionately balanced. I’d scrap the whole idea of bridesmaids and just have a best man

Where in the uk is your venue? The costs for a catered meal for 25 and your florist are a rip off. Get more quotes!

definetly ditch the video, favours, gifts for the wedding party and absolutely do not pay for your own hen and stag do.

but you also need to cut your cloth - you cannot afford a Tatler/ hello wedding - reset your expectations

Do you absolutely need to have groomsmen and so many bridesmaids?

Do you have to have a hen/stag?

A £3k dress feels "too big" for such a small wedding. It feels like the kind of dress someone (not me) might justify for a huge wedding with lots of guests.

£100 max for several professional bouquets? Not likely… £300 more like

Only if you say it’s a wedding

just ask for 3 handtied bouquets - £100

OP, we’re trying to help you. This could be the Fyre Festival of weddings. It’s not too late to prevent a Netflix documentary

Yes you won’t be doing anything with no entertainment or food so no bridesmaids needed - generally you need them because there is alot going on

I’ve been to a wedding where bride, groom and family stayed at the venue for a week. I stayed for two nights.

All the food was done by all the family so the only cost was buying it in. It was nice weather but wouldn’t have mattered. so jams, bread, milk, cereal put out for help yourself breakfast, lunch was similar or you just go off for a few hours by yourself then (it was in a nice area). the wedding breakfast was set out lovely on long tables just a cold buffet, all done by the family.

the bride wore a nice monsoon dress. I think some lovely dried flowers style bouquet. It all had to travel a few hundred miles.

I remember the wedding was recorded by a guest, no professional photographer at all.

so cut the caterers, have a standard dress from a high street shop, no photographer, no flowers, no bridesmaids and that’s your money saved.

You can get a beautiful dress for a lot less. Find a seamstress who can make one for you. You absolutely do not need favours. I don’t think you can cut entertainment completely. You need music for dancing but don’t need live band, magicians, caricature artists etc.

I should think so! 🤣

The most important thing is that the two of you are getting married surrounded by your loved ones.

Venue and accommodation are now fixed costs.

In terms of the costs you have listed, here are my thoughts.

1. videographer - agree with others, this is not needed.

2. photographer - the photographs I love most are those taken by the guests at my wedding, rather than the staged formal photos. Everyone has a decent camera in their pocket nowadays. If I had to cut costs, I would be comfortable having a website/sharing album/QR code and asking my guests to share the photos they have taken, and be confident that someone had a good photo of each part of the wedding and of each guest. If it is importantly to you to have formal photos, maybe book a photographer for just one morning or afternoon. For me, the professional photographer was a waste of time and an irritation on the day.

3. Hair and makeup - I did my own, but I really wear make up IRL, so I wouldn’t have felt comfortable fully made up. Depending on the aesthetic you are going for, you might want to keep this in, but if you’re confident in your own skills (or friend’s skills), you don’t need a professional.

4. Bouquet - my father grew the orchids for my bouquet. He has a deep love of gardening and they are native to where he grew up. He got lessons from a florist to learn how to tie them to their best advantage, and they were glorious, cascading down. Even if they hadn’t been, the important thing would have been the love and sentiment behind them. However, there is a lot of skill in creating a good bouquet. Tying your own won’t look the same, but if this is low priority to you, it might not matter.

5. Bridesmaid dresses/Groomsman outfits - no, I don’t think you can ask them to buy their own. I bought my dress for my sister’s wedding, but that was because I offered as we were at different financial stages of life. Possibly some might offer if they are in a similar position.

I presume they have all already been asked, so you can’t cut down numbers?

6. Cutting entertainment - one of the best weddings I have been to was an Indian/Irish wedding a couple of years ago. They had no paid entertainers, but most of the guests gave some sort of performance. There were some wonderful singers, but the ‘acts’ that stood out for me were that the Indian family all did a Bhangra dance together, and the Irish family all did an Irish dance together. It was clear that only some of the dancers had any real skill in the style of dance they were doing, and there were male cousins and uncles shuffling away in the back, but the whole thing was so joyful and full of love. I think there was a cousin playing tunes for a disco at the end.

7. wedding favours/gifts for wedding party - not necessary, and generally a waste of money

8. catering - we went to a wedding celebration of a family member. He and his wife are very chilled, informal characters and didn’t want to have a massive deal of the wedding itself. So they hired a big country house large enough to house both sides of the family for a celebration after the wedding itself. This was for 3 days. They supplied all the food, but asked guests to sign up to a ‘job’ for one of the meals - either preparing food or clearing away after the meal. This worked really well as it got people from each side interacting and making friends. In fact, this celebration also didn’t have formal entertainment - people went for walks/used the pool/used the games room in the day and there were separate groups playing party games/board games/chatting in the bar in the evenings. That was a memorably enjoyable wedding too - very relaxed and fun.

So you don’t need professional catering for every, or even most, meals. I’d also think that most people wouldn’t want a posh meal for every meal over a 3 day period.

9. 3K for a dress when you need to cut costs is, I am afraid, probably the first place to reconsider. Is it that much as it is couture, or because it is very costly fabric or embellishments. If the former, is there a seamstress who could make similar? Do you have contacts in one of the relevant countries who could facilitate getting something authentic more affordably? Is it possible to hire for the day? I think you may not have your budget for your dream dress.

I wonder whether this was the same family celebration that I was at! Very similar vibes.

Iwould have a real bouquet , a cheap dress with a real bouquet will look 100% better than an expensive one with a fake one.
Indian caterers are very affordable where I live and you could serve the food in chaffing dishes to reduce staffing costs.
Could you provide the cottages with basics like bread butter,tea ,coffee sugar and mezze breakfast items.s such as tomatoes, feta,cucumber, olives, frsh fruit, eggs etc.
Instead of a hog roast you could order in fish and chips for one meal. The overseas guests would find this a rare treat.

Remember uts yours and your fiancé's day, its not all about instagramabke photos.
Do pay for a decent drink,if you're from the Indian community you're bound to know someone wholl happily do it for mates rates .
Organise fun hand on activities such as quizzes,silly games. Childrens entertainers are as much fun for adults too.

Instead of groomsmen outfits I think it’s ok to buy them each a matching tie, and just ask them to wear a dark suit and white shirt. If the ties are distinctive they will still look as if they are all coordinated

I just read yours, it sounds very similar!! The one I attended was in the SW.

Ooh, mine too!

It was so lovely, and so refreshingly different. Absolutely perfect for the couple concerned.