How to cut wedding budget by £8k! Anyone good with trimming?

[dandiesc]

Which of these costs can we cut?

We were promised a contribution of £10k for our wedding from my parents but sadly their financial situation has changed and we couldn't have predicted it. The budget is currently £23k and I need to bring it down to £14/15k.

The venue is £4k without catering and is booked. Accommodation is also booked for all guests but we are asking our guests to help with that.

This is my list of things getting cut. I still need to cut more, but was wondering what you thought?

It's a 3 day wedding as it's multicultural plus one day of set up. Here is what we are thinking?

1. Videographer cut altogether
2. Photographer for first and last day
3. Hair and makeup for second day only
4. Bouquet (can I just tied together some £20 supermaket flowers?)
5. Bridesmaids dresses (is it rude to give them a colour and ask them to buy their own?
6. Groomsman outfits (its all a different culture so they won't have them)
7. Considering bringing photographer for only half of second day
8. All entertainers cut
9. Cut all gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids
10. Cut wedding favours

Is it rude/will regret any of these?

Here is where we need extra help:

The main issue is food and alcohol. We are all staying in small self catering cottages. No-one lives nearby and most will be flying in.

1. Catering costs thousands of pounds. We were going to cater two meals professionally and have the rest cooked in the cottages family style where everyone takes turns. (summer wedding so can eat outside in UK hopefully). These two catered meals come to £3.7k total. Can we scrap these? it means no formal meal.
2. We still have to pay for 13 meals to be cooked in cottages family style any thoughts on these?
3. People expect to drink. On two evenings they will have access to a paid bar. But for two other evenings and all lunches it will be on us to provide as it will be in the cottages. Any ideas on how to cut?
4. My dream dress is £3k. It's from a different culture. I have had my eye on it for 4 years. I cannot describe how much I want this dress. I have been unable to locate second hand. I know I will really regret not wearing it but I am also struggling to justify it given the cost and new budget. I will need multiple outfits but all the others will come to £500 total.
5. First night is stag/hen which is drinking games in teh cottages. Could we ask everyone attending to split the cost? It would be about £850 in alcohol and decoration we expect.

I have posted about this wedding before so you may recognise my post. I have slightly changed details in my delusional attempt at keeping anonymous.

Please help!

That’s a lot of days which mean a lot of food, cutting the other things you mentioned is a bit but some are quite mean. Firstly reduce the people in your wedding party, one best man a couple of ushers and a couple of bridesmaids was the norm and bridesmaids were girls not adult women in the past - you can’t ask people then expect them to pay for clothes but you can say wear suits and dresses you already have. Points 1-3 make sense, 4 is doable is a family member/friend is up for sorting it out, I managed to find a local farm to do mine for £60. Never encountered entertainers unless you mean a band/dj - I think you need something. Nobody needs wedding favours!

the big saving is on food, can you ask everyone to cater for their own breakfast and lunch give them links for online food delivery, they can order whatever booze they want too. For evenings work out simple menus that don’t cost much, look into hiring a big paella pan maybe/ hog(or lamb) roast or similar, BBQ perhaps? The dress needs to be economised on too

you simply can’t afford this wedding. Even at the lower amount it’s a lot - as a comparison I spent £6k last year but everyone paid for their own accommodation and breakfast, the night before dinner (optional) was pay your own but we bought a round of drinks, my parents paid for breakfast on the Sunday. Could you cut a day? Or are flights all booked

Ditch the photographer, definitely the table favours and even hair and make up xx

Oh is this the self catering cottages person?

I understand now.

The one thing you can't skimp on is food. Your guests will remember being inadequately fed. Alcohol you can cancel, you can ask people to BYO.

@dandiesc I have a few ideas for how you could do things differently, and probably save quite a lot…

I would scrap the breakfasts for one morning and provide breakfast hampers in each of the cottages - croissants, cereals, fruit, bagels, fresh orange etc. Still having a breakfast the day after the actual wedding and doing that as you like - or don’t bother with it and have enough food in the hampers to last a few days?

I would look at local catering and see if you can get food any cheaper?

one night you could just order pizzas or something similar for the stag/hens? Costco for the alcohol? Or do you have to buy it there?

You could get bouquets from the supermarket if you wanted/even cheaper briesmaid dresses (Debenhams online is a great option and cheap - everyone forgets about it.

I'm a bit jumbled about exactly what is happening at this wedding and what needs to be paid for.

A wedding dress plus several other outfits for the bride
Three days in cottages for 25 people (already paid for)
A paid bar for two evenings - what was the cost of this?

OP, can you give us a breakdown of what you have budgeted for and how much each thing costs? We can then try to give you some practical advice that actually suits your circumstances. At the moment we're all just making random suggestions that may or may not work as we don't know enough.

You mention three days and one of those being the stag/hen - so is that the day before the wedding, the middle day being the wedding, and then a day of recovery?

All great advice but I'd just caution over Debenhams online - they've been taken over and have acquired a shocking reputation. I'm not sure I'd trust them on something as important as a wedding now - their customer service is invisible and people have had to put in claims to get refunds etc. There's a big thread about it on here - and plenty on TrustPilot too.

Yes

I’d be really fucked off to fly across the world for a wedding and be stuck in the back of beyond with a “continental breakfast”, sandwiches and no booze to facilitate a wedding the couple can’t afford

I’d rather stay home and claim my flights on my travel insurance for a cancelled wedding

But you'll get to see op look like a princess in a 3 grand dress!

Keep your dress, you will regret it if you don't. I've just read there are 25 guests, seriously forget catering, get loads of lovely food yourself, like Cook food, Waitrose etc and let a handful of people help you put it in and out of ovens, get the drinks flowing and people will just be happy eating and drinking and being together ❤️ and all the cottages sound lovely. As for gifts for bridesmaids etc, literally get a photo of you and them in a frame with some lovely words perhaps handwritten xxx tasty food, drinks and good company that's what makes for a good time x

Oh yes!!

Can you give us a breakdown of your costs? Otherwise it's really hard to know what to advise.

I would advise you to find a different dress. For my second wedding I found a vintage 1920s dress that was stunning for £125. Look second hand!

Do you need bridesmaids? If you do, let them wear what they want.

You don't need a photographer. Just get some friends to take pictures on their phones. Phone cameras are amazing, these days!

Could you buy cheaper wedding rings? Even use rings you already have? You can always upgrade to proper ones later.

Food is difficult - how many guests are there? Could you order a takeaway, or would that be no differemy in cost from a catered meal? Or can you get a food van to come in and the guests pay themselves )this is a bit cheeky, but if they all love you and know about the situation, they will understand?

I just think cooking the food yourselves will be a total fucking nightmare.

You don't need a bouquet, wedding favours, any of that jazz.....

Your guests do need to eat tho!

@dandiesc are you part of a religious community at all? When I got married, some of the women from my church catered for us and we had a lovely hot served buffet style wedding meal for what would in today's money be £800 for 100 people. Some people from the church acted as serving staff, and others kindly did clean up.

Ps I wrote 'help you get them in and out of oven', didn't quite mean that, YOU should not be near an oven on your wedding day! Also if you are paying for accomodation and a paid for bar AND your family and friends know your situation, they will not care about a formal sit down meal, they will just be glad and happy they are being fed!

My dress cost £50 from an antiques shop. I tried on a £2k one that my mum offered to buy for me but I couldn't justify the cost and loved the antique one. You will literally wear it for a day. It's not worth the anxiety of spending so much on it.
I think you could ask bridesmaids to buy a dress in a given colour that they could wear again. Far better than buying a bunch of dresses noone will ever wear again imo.

This thread

You’re doing amazingly — and none of these cuts seem rude. Most people won’t notice, and the ones who matter won’t care.

I would say that these are totally fine to cut:
Videographer
Bridesmaids buying their own dresses (very normal now)
Groomsmen outfits
Gifts / favours
Entertainers (love someone elses idea of asking any guests if they can provide entertainment as a wedding gift)
Expensive bouquet (maybe go artificial)
Hair/makeup reduced
Photographer for limited hours (as long as you keep some coverage for the best bits)

From your OP, I think you really would regret cutting your dream dress — this is the one emotional item, everything else is logistics.

I would also suggest scrapping the two catered meals (replace with simple family‑style BBQ/pasta/curry nights)
Bulk‑buy alcohol, kegs, boxed wine
Ask guests to split the cost of the first‑night stag/hen drinks
Keep decor minimal or DIY
Rotate cottage meals cheaply (chilli, pasta, wraps, salads)

You can cut almost everything and still have a beautiful wedding.
Just protect the memories (photos) and the thing that means the most to you (the dress).

Everything else is noise — people are there for you, not the extras. Wishing you all the best with your wedding

Like this? (There are a few seconds hand wedding lehenga/sari sites in the UK)

Single listing - Loved Lehenga https://share.google/EE56BEIvbhxHQdTir

Not quite.

I just typed in the name of dress and rent

Is this a three day wedding because this is a cultural expectation for an Indian wedding? Is it usual for parents for parents to pay and swan around the venue, like they are the hosts?

If so, and you are conforming to cultural pressures and expectations from your elders, then they need to shell out the cash to help you, or forgo these expectations that will put you into debt. Are your parents able to take out a loan? Do the guests give generous cash gifts in recognition of being hosted for three days?

If this three day extravaganza is all your own choices, then I'm genuinely sorry to say that your dress will need to be scaled down and artificial flowers.

LtB that's my advice.....

This is nuts. Just do a one day wedding. You’ll be knackered anyway. It’s a long busy emotional rollercoaster, I could never keep that up for three days.

Are you in a rural area or city? I’m wondering if a restaurant that is perhaps usually closed that day/quite would agree to one off catering for a competitive price?

Especially on 25 guests.

I think you need a catered sit down meal on the main day, you also need entertainment.

I regularly organise caterers for work events. I can get Indian curries with sides for under £15pp - I would do this for one of the evening meals. Lasagne from cook with garlic bread and salad for another. Just buy frozen pastries, yogurts, fruit, and cereals for people to make breakfast in the cottages.

Can you list the costs of everything you are already committed to?
And then the things you really want to keep on top?

She has already asked guests to pay for their accommodation

ooo now can you pay for your own food - and now drinks - and breakfast - and could one of you pay for entertainment 🥴