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Original poster

Bad situation in my parents house

113 replies

mim2007 · 01/08/2017 13:08

I've recently travelled to England from Spain with my four young children to visit our family over the summer holiday's. On the first day of arriving I was already unhappy with the arrangements in my parents house. My sister, who is 25 and is now living with my parents, is currently single but is sleeping with a man for her own sexual pleasures. Now, many of you might think this is ok, except she is sleeping with him in my parents house and he is also staying the night whilst my children and I are here. I've stressed my concerns with my parents and I've asked my parent if while we are here, can they ask my sister not to bring this man into the house, but they refused. They both seem to think this is ok and she can have anybody she wants over to sleep with her even while we are here. I've also spoken to my older sister who has got four children and she also thinks this is ok. Please, can you give me some advice as to what I could do!?! I haven't got enough money to stay somewhere else neither have I got anywhere else we could go. I can't just leave as I live in Spain.

OP posts:

MissBabbs · 01/08/2017 21:35

Isn't the OP saying that the man is a random shag - so isn't happy about having random men in the house overnight when she is there with DCs.

I don't know the size of the house or how the man behaves but it could be she is not sure that having random men staying over that she, and presumably no one else, actually knows, is a good idea.
I wouldn't want random men in my house (ie those not invited by me) even without DCs.

Bingeslayer · 01/08/2017 21:41

First laugh I've had today,here you go Op you've earned it

Xeneth88 · 01/08/2017 21:46

I hope your sisters getting it any way she likes tonight with her sexual partner in her own home. Unclench OP, its only a bit of nookie.

TestTubeTeen · 01/08/2017 21:54

Do we have any details about these sexual pleasures? By any chance?

GinIsIn · 01/08/2017 21:55

Do your parents live in the Victorian era?

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 01/08/2017 22:00

Is it just the sexual pleasure you are jealous of?4

Bluntness100 · 01/08/2017 22:04

Isn't the OP saying that the man is a random shag

God knows what she's saying, but clearly if he is there regularly and spends rhe night, and the parents are happy he is there, as is her other sister, then he's no random shag. She's just putting him and her sister down.

Clearly the parents and sister know him, it's only her who doesn't, because she lives in another country. For all intents and purposes he is her boyfriend, no matter how derogatory the op wishes to be.

Xeneth88 · 01/08/2017 22:11

Wish my "random" shag would have the decency to let me know if/what time his penis is available tonight. Annoying.

I'm not jealous of OPs sister at all. Right now.

TatianaLarina · 01/08/2017 22:42

To be fair her parents seem cool, it's OP who lives in the Victorian era with Trollope.

Anatidae · 02/08/2017 07:40

Can you explain a bit more? Is this a series of random men she's bringing home? Are they being inappropriate or exhibitionist about having sex (because that is a bit grim.)

I'm having trouble understanding what the issue is - do you have concerns for your safety or those of your children? Is there something about the man you don't feel comfortable with?

If it's one guy she's sleeping with then they are in a relationship, whether that's something they intend to last or not.

Can you explain more exactly what's bothering you, because this is clearly upsetting you and maybe we are just getting the wrong end of the stick.

JWrecks · 02/08/2017 08:34

Wait wait wait, hang on. Is the man some sort of prostitute?

He comes over for sex regularly, they are not dating or boyfriend/girlfriend, he is there for her pleasures, etc. So is he a prostitute?! Is that why you have a problem with the situation?

Because I think that could possibly change attitudes. I'm not certain that I'd be terribly cool with an actual prostitute in the house with my kids...

I do wonder how/why you are so certain that they are not dating. Having regular sex is a pretty good indicator that people are indeed dating.

I think the reason that you believe we are all "stupid" "trolls" is that nobody here sees immorality in pre-marital sex between two consenting adults anymore. People just don't find that disagreeable in this day and age. As long as they are not being overt about it, are not screaming and banging on the walls, not keeping everyone awake all night, then the vast majority of people here (and in the rest of the Western world) see nothing at all wrong with having sex before getting married.

We are not "stupid" or "trolls", we are not taking the piss, we are not trying to be contrary, and we are not even missing the point you're trying to make. We simply completely disagree with the reasons that you are upset and truly believe that you are the one being unreasonable. That's all it is. By telling you to leave it off because it is not your business, we are trying to HELP YOU. Genuinely!

Since you seem to be searching for other advice, though, the best I can offer - that is, if the man is not actually a prostitute! - is this:

If you need to tell your children something because they are asking questions or you're concerned that they will, and you are not comfortable with opening your children's eyes to pre-marital sex happening, then just tell them that the pair are already married, and that's why they sleep in the same room. Outside of leaving the house, which you said you cannot afford to do, I don't think you've got any other options.

poweredbybread · 09/08/2017 20:51

This is fabulous just found it on twitter. Love the post about mum and dads bondage night. You poor thing having to have sex at least 4 times to get your children unless they are quads and you got lucky the first time. How's the hotel????

AW1983 · 14/08/2017 23:46

I think it depends whether it is a boyfriend or not really. If it's a boyfriend who might turn into a future husband/BIL/uncle and he makes some effort to be part of the family then I think you're probably overreacting.

If, on the other hand, he is gap fill who is turning up at 10pm for the occasional shag and nothing else, then frankly I think your parents are a bit weird being okay with that around their grand kids. I would be booking in to a hotel or curtailing my trip in those circumstances.

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