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Original poster

Bad situation in my parents house

113 replies

mim2007 · 01/08/2017 13:08

I've recently travelled to England from Spain with my four young children to visit our family over the summer holiday's. On the first day of arriving I was already unhappy with the arrangements in my parents house. My sister, who is 25 and is now living with my parents, is currently single but is sleeping with a man for her own sexual pleasures. Now, many of you might think this is ok, except she is sleeping with him in my parents house and he is also staying the night whilst my children and I are here. I've stressed my concerns with my parents and I've asked my parent if while we are here, can they ask my sister not to bring this man into the house, but they refused. They both seem to think this is ok and she can have anybody she wants over to sleep with her even while we are here. I've also spoken to my older sister who has got four children and she also thinks this is ok. Please, can you give me some advice as to what I could do!?! I haven't got enough money to stay somewhere else neither have I got anywhere else we could go. I can't just leave as I live in Spain.

OP posts:
starsorwater · 01/08/2017 14:41

Your sister is not a trollope or a trollop or a troll. She is an adult, and it must be quite annoying for her to have her home filled with 4 kids and a judgemental younger sister.

viques · 01/08/2017 14:44

"For her own sexual pleasure" I hope to heck he is getting a bit of pleasure too.

TestTubeTeen · 01/08/2017 14:45

Send him to my house for the duration of your visit.

SpareASquare · 01/08/2017 14:45

So your ADULT sister has a boyfriend who stays over in a house that is not yours? You are demanding that she stop?

Yeah, suck it up or stay elsewhere. You don't get to impose your 'morals' (for want of a different word) on others in their own home.

Sleepthief84 · 01/08/2017 14:47

This thread is actually hilarious! It's got to be a wind up surely? Is the random man whacking out his dong at the dinner table or behaving otherwise inappropriately in front of your family? No? Then grow up! Trollope (I believe it's 'Trollop') indeed! 😂 Immorality? Why because she's not married? It's 2017 you know.

'Sexual pleasures' (((snorts and giggles like a kid)))

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/08/2017 14:47

chips
I would not want random men either. But I think op is referring to one man. I also wouldn't have a guy come over to my parents house and shag me and leave (if this is what is happening) even if it was always the same guy. I'd find that incredibly embarrassing.... but I'm not her. I think what people are mostly objecting to is ops language and self righteousness. I've been with dh for 25ish years but I still know not to judge.

PoppyJ1 · 01/08/2017 14:47

Surely the OP is a troll! Maybe the clue is in the repeated use of the word trollope...? Smile

TatianaLarina · 01/08/2017 14:48

I ❤️ this thread.

Especially 'Trollope' - The Way We Live Now or Can You Forgive Her?

GahBuggerit · 01/08/2017 14:50

You sound extremely young OP. Some people, not me cant judge myself but some people might say having 4 children whilst very young and very immature isn't the best idea either. I never believed this myself but there may be some truth here.

My very decent advice, the only advice you can be given really, would be to keep calm and carry on, its just a bit of sexy times, you've obviously done it at least 4 times so you know the score. Just dont walk in her bedroom without knocking and you'll be more than fine.

DreamingofItaly · 01/08/2017 14:51

Personally, for me it depends on how long they've been together/how serious it is. If my sister was shagging random men/bringing strangers home from nights out and my children (not that I have any so hypothetically), I would not be happy about it.

If they've been together for a bit, are "friends with benefits" and he's perfectly pleasant to be introduced to the children as Auntie's boyfriend should he meet them at breakfast then I'd say it's ok.

Not ideal, esp as you seem to have completely different moral standing to the rest of your family, but personally if they all think he's a stand up guy and safe around your children then you're going to need to either deal with it or rent a place nearby...there could be a cheap airbnb for you to head off to.

Good luck deciding what to do.

Atenco · 01/08/2017 14:54

Another one who must be a Trollope

ReanimatedSGB · 01/08/2017 14:54

Learn to mind your own business. No one in your family is obliged to obey you in their house. If you are this rude and judgemental to their faces they are going to wish you hadn't come to visit. And if you start calling your sister names to her face or in front of your parents, it would be entirely reasonable of them to tell you to leave.
Even if your sister was having sex with three different random men every night, it would still be none of your business if your parents and other sister were OK with the situation.
As to morality, it's not a matter of how many people someone has sex with - it's about whether or not that person treats their sex partners with kindness and courtesy. I like group sex and I am not immoral.

Changebagsandgladrags · 01/08/2017 14:55

Ask your sister if you can borrow him so you can discover the sexual pleasures

Scottishlassie81 · 01/08/2017 15:03

'Is there anybody on here who can give me some decent advice without attacking me. For all those who think that this situations ok please don't reply to my post as I haven't got time for stupidity or trolls.'

In other words, if you don't agree with me, don't reply! you will not survive on mumsnet long if all you want is someone agreeing with you all the time. it's not the place for you.

diddl · 01/08/2017 15:05

If your parents are OK with it then I think that you either need to put up with it or stay elsewhere.

I'm astounded that you asked your parents to tell your sister that it's not allowed whilst you are there.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 01/08/2017 15:07

Especially 'Trollope' - The Way We Live Now or Can You Forgive Her

Travelling Sketches?

Huskylover1 · 01/08/2017 15:10

I think the Op is rather jealous, that when she is attending to 4 small children, her sister who has no such responsibility, is getting her rocks off. Ha ha

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 01/08/2017 15:11

Still laughing at sexual pleasures. Are you in a timewarp? Oh OP, I bet you are fun at parties Grin

user1498060624 · 01/08/2017 15:12

Hi OP, I understand you and I can see why it can be annoying. He is not your sister's boyfriend he is just a random guy she chooses to see to have sex and then go away.

To me the problem is not that you want him to go away, the problem is that your parents-who I assume they see you and your children very few times per year-cannot respect your request and listen to you just for the sake of having a nice family holiday all together.

How many days do you have left in England? Flowers

Redglitter · 01/08/2017 15:13

If you don't like it don't stay with them. It's your sisters home. Your parents clearly don't mind. Why should she change her lifestyle just cos you're not happy. Refer to her FWB as her boyfriend to your children if that makes it easier

You really have no reason to complain

Hissy · 01/08/2017 15:13

OP, if you have asked your parents and they are OK with this in their own home, it's OK

Your own elder sister sees no wrong in any of it

We don't see any wrong in it.

The guy is not random if he's been there regularly.
Your sister is an adult and this is her home...

Why do you honestly think that you are justified in your outrage?

Mustang27 · 01/08/2017 15:14

I'd understand if you were worried about this stranger around your children but it just seems that you have an issue with your sister having casual sex. Yabvu to even have an opinion on her sex life.

Personally I'd feel a bit weird doing it in my parents house even if that's where I live and I think I'd chose to maybe go to his place with the house so busy as it would be a complete turn off. However she maybe is doing it because you are all up in arms about it and good on her.

Plus with 4 kids you likely didn't get in that position by abstaining.

Lynnm63 · 01/08/2017 15:14

I'd probably not like it if it was my dd in my house but your dm doesn't have a problem. However if my dsis was having sexual pleasure, God that made me laugh then think if Bill Clinton I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Then I thought you've got free accommodation for you and 4dc and you want to stop your dsis having sex in her own bed.
You really are an entitled princess.

thegreylady · 01/08/2017 15:18

I am 73 years old and moderately prudish but this situation wouldn't bother me in the slightest. If your sister was 15 you would be justified or if she had a string of men paying her for sex in your parents home.

onalongsabbatical · 01/08/2017 15:19

OP, the 19th century called, they think you've gone astray and they want you back.