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Original poster

Bad situation in my parents house

113 replies

mim2007 · 01/08/2017 13:08

I've recently travelled to England from Spain with my four young children to visit our family over the summer holiday's. On the first day of arriving I was already unhappy with the arrangements in my parents house. My sister, who is 25 and is now living with my parents, is currently single but is sleeping with a man for her own sexual pleasures. Now, many of you might think this is ok, except she is sleeping with him in my parents house and he is also staying the night whilst my children and I are here. I've stressed my concerns with my parents and I've asked my parent if while we are here, can they ask my sister not to bring this man into the house, but they refused. They both seem to think this is ok and she can have anybody she wants over to sleep with her even while we are here. I've also spoken to my older sister who has got four children and she also thinks this is ok. Please, can you give me some advice as to what I could do!?! I haven't got enough money to stay somewhere else neither have I got anywhere else we could go. I can't just leave as I live in Spain.

OP posts:
Roomba · 01/08/2017 14:14

It's not a different man coming round each time for your sister's 'sexual pleasure' is it? So he is her boyfriend, surely? What is your specific objection to this situation? Is it that they aren't married? I can't imagine that they are actually having sex in front of everyone (!) so how exactly is it affecting your children? Your sister is 25 so a consenting adult who can make her own choices about who she has sex with. If your parents are happy with this situation then your only option is to leave if you aren't able to accept it.

Calling someone immoral and a trollop just for having sex ahead 25 is just bizarre though. It may not be the way you choose to live but it's hardly an uncommon situation! It's 2017, not 1617 Hmm

BarryTheKestrel · 01/08/2017 14:14

He isn't a random man if he is known to both your sister and your parents. They may not be in a conventional relationship in your eyes but that really is none of your business. If it was a different man every night I would have more sympathy in terms of safety for all invoked but frankly, your sister having sex with the same bloke in HER home (yes she lives there, she has the right to use her space as she wishes as long as it doesn't impact the other residents - your parents, who aren't bothered) really isn't on the radar. Would out feel differently if they were in a relationship?
You are visiting and yes its rude if you can hear them or if your sister is ignoring you in favour of this however you really need to put your prudishness to one side. You are the only one with a problem with this.

Mumsnet is very helpful in giving reality checks, sadly it only works if you are willing to accept you may be wrong.

DonkeyOaty · 01/08/2017 14:15

Trollope Grin

I'm ever so sorry. Really rude to point and laugh.

MeltorPeltor · 01/08/2017 14:16

Gosh!

Unless she's sleeping on the sofa and doing it there whilst you try to watch CBBC and eat jammy dodgers, just tell the kids that X is her boyfriend.

If you have that big a problem with it, leave.

Roomba · 01/08/2017 14:16

Aged 25 that should have said. And I'm not a troll either...

PickAChew · 01/08/2017 14:19

And yep, mumsnet is a nest of vipers of loose morals. We wouldn't even be here if it wasn't the 21st century.

Renarde75 · 01/08/2017 14:23

Have you ever heard of immorality?

I consider your response OP to be immoral actually. Let's break it down.

Imposing an arbitrary set of rules to 'police' behaviours
Slut shaming and name calling your sister on a public forum
Making assumptions about a man's character and thereby
Making assumptions about your own parents' character
Assuming that because posters here don't agree with you, they are also by definition, immoral

Your children wont know what hits them when they grow up. Poor kids.

I had a mum like you. Mind you, she has an excuse. She's 72. I went NC precisely because of this kind of behaviour.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/08/2017 14:23

Did you know you had added this thread twice?

BingoFlamingos · 01/08/2017 14:24

Shoot me mim but I'm a tiny bit younger than your sister but my boyfriend I have recently (temporarily) moved in with my mum and dad, my DP is around when family children are too and plot twist I'm pregnant so we've definitely had sex.
Everyone in the house thinks it's fine so it's fine.

StormTreader · 01/08/2017 14:24

Aaah, morals. "I dont like this so YOU are wrong for doing it."

Lucky for you that your sister doesnt think a woman travelling without a man with her is "immoral", otherwise you wouldnt be allowed to make the trip at all.

SonicBoomBoom · 01/08/2017 14:25

Trollope.

Immorality.

Keep 'em coming OP. I don't give biscuits out lightly.

iknowimcoming · 01/08/2017 14:26

Ah I see - you want someone to agree with you?! In that case yes I agree with you - your 25 year old (single) sister should definitely not be having sex with a man in her own bed, in her own home, which is owned by her parents (who don't have a problem with it) and particularly not when you have arrived for a free holiday with your 4 children! AND your parents should definitely not be allowing it - they should of course throw her out on the streets where she belongs, and then beg you for forgiveness for their blatant lack of morals and failure to provide you with the wholesome accommodation you so obviously deserve. There - is that what you wanted? Hmm

P.S. How did you have 4 children - immaculate conception x 4? Biscuit

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/08/2017 14:26

Actually actually I do have a question seeing as I'm obviously that way inclined Hmm. Does he give her multiple orgasms? Grin

talonofthehawk · 01/08/2017 14:26

Think you sound a bit jealous you're not getting any 'sexual pleasures' that you're 'Trollop' sister is getting.

Get a hotel or shut up and bore off mother Teressa.

talonofthehawk · 01/08/2017 14:27

your*

SparklyMagpie · 01/08/2017 14:27

I've got advice....

STAY AT A FUCKING HOTEL !

It's your parents house,their rules, if you don't like it stay somewhere else

ClemDanfango · 01/08/2017 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elelfrance · 01/08/2017 14:32

Well now Sparkly, wouldn't a hotel be full of people engaging in sexual pleasure, OP mightn't like that either :D

Gazelda · 01/08/2017 14:33

Hmmmm, tricky. The only advice I can think of is to find somewhere else to stay or to go home. Or suck it up.

It's your parents home and they are ok with your sister and her boyfriend having sex. So there's not a lot else you can do.

WatchingFromTheWings · 01/08/2017 14:34

😆 @ClemDanfango

chips4teaplease · 01/08/2017 14:37

I'm now reflecting on the joys of having random men over for sexual pleasure...

Ahem. Right. OP, it's your parents' house. If they are ok with it and your other sister is ok with it and your shagging sister is ok with it, that makes you the odd one out. You get to suck it up, or go elsewhere.

For the record, I wouldn't accept random men coming into my house to shag my dd. It's not my way. Or hers. No matter how old they are, if they want sex lives they can find somewhere else to do it. Her husband is a different matter, of course. If they stayed here, I'd take my hearing aids out. I wouldn't take a man home to my elderly father's house for sex, though. That wouldn't be respectful. But OP, I think you and I are in the minority. Perhaps you should stay with me. Oh no, that wouldn't work because I don't let anyone into the house. But it's my house where I live alone, so in theory, I'm free to invite randoms home for sexual pleasure...

I'll give it some thought.

Blossomdeary · 01/08/2017 14:40

Are they banging away all night and shaking the floorboards? - if so, I can see your problem. Otherwise it is none of your business. You are a guest, and whatever your host (even though family) chooses to do is nothing to do with you.

PopcornBits · 01/08/2017 14:40

God you sound like my dad when I was 19 and wanted to bring a boyfriend over.

Grow the fuck up.

SongforSal · 01/08/2017 14:40

When my Dp gets home tonight, I'm gonna nod towards the bedroom and ask if he fancies 'Sexual Pleasures'. Actually. From this day forward, I am going to refer to sex as exactly that Grin

QueenofallIsee · 01/08/2017 14:41

Doesn't sound like a 'random' man, sounds as though he and your sister are in a relationship - your parents know him, he comes over frequently. It might not be YOUR idea of a relationship but it is one. Your children will not be corrupted by the knowledge that adults have relationships of differing types. I suggest that you consider the feelings of your parents and siblings before you alienate them entirely