Chatty thread for ND mumsnetters

[whiskeyarmadillo]

I thought I'd try and start a friendly chatty thread here on the ND board. All are welcome. Bring a cuppa.

I'm whiskeyaramadillo. I'm late 40s and AuDHD. I have a ND parent and two ND children - my third DC is NT ish. I work full time and live on the western edge of London but my heart is firmly in the countryside which is where I grew up. I have one black and white cat who is my sunshine although he is in my bad books today after bringing in a mouse.

Today (Sunday) I'm sorting out my very very messy house - again. Making sure homework is done and uniforms are clean. Putting endless pants and socks in drawers. If I'm lucky I'll get to lie on the sofa and continue reading 'Wintering' by Katherine May or watch a bit of a crappy fantasy movie with a giant mug of tea.

What is everyone up to today?

I think I got put off by watching a few people on YouTube talking about bad experiences they had trying to get a diagnosis via the NHS, and of course that doesn't mean I would have a bad experience, but it was offputting. I haven't had great experiences with mental health provision on the NHS so, yeah, I'm feeling quite reluctant to go down that road. Like you said, there's not much support post-diagnosis, so it would just be for the sake of an official seal of approval as it were. What seems to be working well for me is going at my own pace with support from my therapist. I haven't even spoken to my family about it yet. I know at least one of them would roll their eyes at me and I just don't want to have to deal with that tbh.

I can understand your thinking
And you have found something that works for you ,so that's brilliant
Two of my DC are diagnosed as well ,and I knew if there was no help for children diagnosed,there definitely wouldn't be any for adults.

I’ve had CFS since my teens so you think I’d be used to it by now but you’re never used to it unfortunately

Hope everyone is having a good week so far

Hi @Newyearsparkle 🙂

Hows everything going with you? Week wise, hopefully ok. I’m just taking things easy

I started the meds for ADHD ..
First day I was quite chilled,but since then I just want to sleep.
I took it at 9 am ,and I could literally crawl back in the bed right now .

Maybe your body just has to get used to the dosage. Is feeling tired a side effect?

I don't know ,I was told side effects were lack of appetite,but I just want to graze on snacks .

Sometimes what doctors say what the side effects are and what the leaflet says can be widely different. Have you read the leaflet?

Yes thanks @JewelleryCat ..lots of side effects to consider, tidiness is one of them

Just keep taking it slow with them and if you don’t get on with them, maybe ask for a lower dose, if you’re not on the lowest one already then gradually work up to a dose you’re happy with and you feel it’s working

I think I'm actually getting on with them a lot better than I have with anything else .if these were antidepressants I'd be climbing the wall by now with side effects.tiredness has eased a bit from the first couple of days .
I just need to work out when I'm going to do my exercise as I have to work it round the meds .
So much better today .
Hope everyone else is doing ok x

That sounds very positive @Newyearsparkle

Any weekend plans?

So happy to hear it's going well with the meds @Newyearsparkle

Hopefully not a repeat of last Sunday
My counsellor was interesting yesterday
She said she frequently says no to people,if it's something she doesn't want to do ..even ( utter shock ) her children
That has literally blown my mind
I expected her to say I was unreasonable to not want to take him to church,and unreasonable to not speak after to my husband ( even though I couldn't I was so stressed ) .
So I'm absolutely mind blown..that she would say ,no I don't want to do that to one of her children.
I can't remember the last time I said no to anything
Starting to maybe understand why I'm having so many shutdowns and mood problems

Thankyou ,yes day 6 on them now. I think
Definitely not climbing the wall ,
Got a bit of the munchies..but not to bad
How are you doing @InertBird

@Newyearsparkle are you going to try saying no? It might be good for you and might make you less stressed but then again, I don’t have children so maybe I don’t really understand

Well my counsellor says she says no to her children if it's something that she doesn't want to do ,or will make her uncomfortable,or stressed .
I'm just such a people pleaser,I often don't know my own mind , because I'm to busy doing what other people want

Sounds like you need to figure out what you might like and want to do. Maybe start small, a nice bubble bath if you like baths? Some other self care like painting your nails if you like that, a face mask?

Hi is anyone awake. I haven't been on this chat for a while. A few years ago I self diagnosed myself probably autistic maybe ADHD. I am officially diagnosed with dyslexia (age 20), and other mental health conditions as an adult. So just a disclaimer, might not be autistic. Right now it's my 2nd night of insomnia. I napped for 3 hours during the day yesterday. I'm just playing over in my head stressful social interactions from work on Friday. I have 2 kids and am pregnant. My eldest is a girl, youngest boy. I feel as though this one's a girl, partly because I'm more emotional, similar to my first pregnancy.

And I do say no to my children, not all the time, but if I need a bit of space for example.I don't think it will make you a bad mum. Your teaching them how you have feelings and it's ok for them to say no and ask for space from their peers.

Hello @Alwayslearning25 welcome back 🙂

Have you tried the AQ50 test I believe it’s called? It’s not a diagnosis by any means but it could help you get the ball rolling if you want a formal diagnosis

I didn't. I did an ADHD screening test and scored high allthough I don't feel like my 'thoughts race like they're powered by a machine' I might do. I'm a functioning adult so I don't think there's much use in a diagnosis.

I have a diagnosis but there isn’t any help for adults around. If there is, I haven’t heard of anything

I've just started on ritalin ,and it's going ok
I'm glad I have my diagnosis,it's definitely helping me trying to be assertive about my needs .
I remember your user name ,we have definitely chatted before xx