Support thread for autistic people in relationships with NTs

[IncompleteSenten]

I am autistic. (Diagnosed). I was DX as an adult after both my sons were DX and the professionals involved with them began to raise it with me.

Female autism typically presents very differently in women and is often missed and so we go through years of our lives feeling weird and confused and all sorts and just not knowing why.

My husband is NT. It can be really difficult. Its not his fault, it's just how it is but I thought maybe if there are a few of us we can have our own thread where we get to chat and talk about things we find hard and perhaps give each other advice?

@beef.My post was not intended to offend!!I am at my wits end trying to understand how my lovely husband brain works. As a family we all need to try and see how his life is ..was hoping it would be a possible post for us .

[quote Ohisitreally]@beef.My post was not intended to offend!!I am at my wits end trying to understand how my lovely husband brain works. As a family we all need to try and see how his life is ..was hoping it would be a possible post for us .[/quote]
Do you not think you should talk to your husband about it? You said he doesn’t know that you think he has autism. Why would you not tell him this? He might not be autistic so you reading a thread about autism might not help you understand him any better. An official diagnosis is the best place to start.

Excellent idea for a thread, thank you OP.
I'll come back on the thread in the morning and chat.

Hi! I’m just off to bed now, but would love to vent about the joys of being an autistic parent 😬. I’m not in a relationship, but could definitely hold forth at length about the fun and games of dating as an autistic woman, too…

Great idea for a thread! Place marking to catch up and come back properly when I've read.

@crackofdoom

Hi! I’m just off to bed now, but would love to vent about the joys of being an autistic parent 😬. I’m not in a relationship, but could definitely hold forth at length about the fun and games of dating as an autistic woman, too…

I'd be interested in hearing about your experiences - I'm childfree, I just couldn't cope with the idea of having them, but your view from the other side of the fence would be interesting. I'm happy with my choice overall but do wonder what it would have been like and if I could have managed.

My dh is very introverted with some autistic traits, but he's really good at communicating with people. I envy him because he can remain so calm. Sometimes I have to get him to do the talking for me if I just can't do it or if I start to get angry.

Am actually shocked at the replies here I genuinely thought reading this thread would help me and husband..obviously not !My advice is to stop being so defensive and acknowledge that NT people do care, but hard to be understanding when the replies are so attacking!

@Ohisitreally you know it's possible to lurk on a thread and be educated without having to have the last word, right?

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation totally - my DH is very mild-mannered, so he takes the stuff where I'm getting het up. Dodgy salespeople though are all mine - DH is so lovely most of the time so would be like Jack bringing home the magic beans, or at least a ludicrous amount of direct debits from chuggers

@Ohisitreally

Am actually shocked at the replies here I genuinely thought reading this thread would help me and husband..obviously not !My advice is to stop being so defensive and acknowledge that NT people do care, but hard to be understanding when the replies are so attacking!

You are shocked? How? What is shocking? Apart from your own posts?

My DH is pretty good but we do have our issues. He struggles to accept ar times that there isn't further meaning behind my words or expressions. He will say, "what do you mean by that?" or, "what was that look for?" I don't have control over my facial expressions, just listen to my words!

I am consistently surprised and impressed by NT peoples lack of self awareness. Thanks for demonstrating.

Mine makes me laugh when he tells jokes. Not the jokes themselves but his absolute disbelief when I sit and say 'what do you mean, why is that funny?'

@ofwarren

My DH is pretty good but we do have our issues. He struggles to accept ar times that there isn't further meaning behind my words or expressions. He will say, "what do you mean by that?" or, "what was that look for?" I don't have control over my facial expressions, just listen to my words!

Yes this! The idea that there is some hidden agenda 🙄 no it's you NT people with your hidden agendas!