Thank you Eau.
Yes I'm going on Monday.
I don't know whether to write some things down or whether to try to go with the flow a bit and see what happens.
I just can't get over it being so near to home. Of all the places in North Yorkshire it's in this tiny random village!

Original poster

EauRouge · 10/06/2015 17:36

I did a mixture of using my list and going with the flow. The list was mainly for me because I forget to mention things all the time, or I end up getting steered off topic by whoever I'm talking to. So I wanted to stay focussed and not forget important things.

That's a heck of a coincidence, pretty lucky for you :) I hope it goes well. I'm sure you'll be fine, she's lovely. Are you taking anyone with you?

OP posts:

LeChien · 10/06/2015 18:08

No, I'm dropping ds off with my parents (a minute walk round the corner!) and going alone.
I'd rather be alone I think. I'd be distracted by whoever was with me.

SouthWestmom · 10/06/2015 18:46

Thank you and hello everyone. I'm in a state of weird terror/excitement. And can't remember who I am.

Gumblebee · 10/06/2015 19:22

Good luck LeChien and Noeuf.

I went to mine with DP for moral support and because he goes nearly everywhere with me and I needed him to drive me there because I can't do public transport and don't drive due to anxiety and was slightly taken aback by the fact that the assessor started asking him questions about me, which I hadn't realised would happen.

I was sent a list of questions before mine, for me either to write answers in my own time or just to get an idea of what kind of questions they would be asking, which I thought was helpful.

SouthWestmom · 10/06/2015 19:56

Hi Gumblebee I saw your original thread - I don't know really what I think. Dh always tries to be positive so just wouldn't say anything negative at all. Dm is coming and I think will be objective. I'm keen for it not to be coached by me.

Gumblebee · 10/06/2015 20:03

I'm keen for it not to be coached by me.

Yes this is something that concerned me too. I guess there's a fine line between telling the person what kind of things they might be asked about so they know what to expect, and coaching them. I'm sure having your DM there will be helpful - mine filled out a form àsking about me as a child.

CrohnicallyInflexible · 10/06/2015 20:30

I've been reading a thread on AIBU about whether or not to disclose a child's AS diagnosis. It's got me thinking whether I'm doing the right thing keeping mine quiet at work, or not.

So far I have told my boss, for the legal protection, a couple of colleagues who I worked with for years and had a pretty good idea anyway, and the colleague I work with on a day to day basis. There are colleagues I am friendly with who I haven't told, as I'm concerned that telling too many people will mean that it goes further than I want.

The main thing stopping me from being completely open, is that I know I am unpopular with quite a few colleagues, and I think they will either not believe me as I am usually very good at masking, or they will think I am using it as an excuse to explain previous 'bad behaviour'. By that I mean things like I have had disagreements with them before where I have struggled to explain myself and become upset as a result, they think I am putting the tears on for sympathy.

Being open might lead to more understanding, but it might also lead to me being alienated more at work.

Has anyone any experience of disclosing at work? Have you got any other pros/cons for me to consider?

BertieBotts · 10/06/2015 21:27

Athena re birth, I think you can do it totally alone, legally, but obviously it's risky if something (god forbid) were to go wrong. It is possible to ask for totally hands off management unless direly needed but you'd probably have to hire an independent midwife if you want to be sure your wishes will be stuck to. When I had DS they were about £1000 to hire one, not sure if it's changed seven years on.

Chron my gut feeling is if they are the type to see tears as "put on for sympathy", don't disclose. They won't get it. Although, I suppose, if they already don't like you, you might have nothing to lose and they might be politer out of feeling bad?

I think I missed a switch in terminology, what's ASC? I assume the same as ASD, but what does it stand for and why has it been changed?

Original poster

EauRouge · 10/06/2015 21:47

ASC is autistic spectrum condition, which some people prefer to 'disorder'. So I thought I'd go with that. I've never heard ADHC though, I don't know why. I don't have a preference either way tbh.

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 10/06/2015 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthWestmom · 10/06/2015 22:05

I prefer disorder but I think it's because I don't like change

PolterGoose · 10/06/2015 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SargeantAngua · 10/06/2015 22:36

Hello again. I'm having my 2-monthly phone chat with my doctor tomorrow (I've been of work for a couple of years so she writes me a note every 2 months, new prescription for happy pills etc) and I'm going to ask her about an aspergers assessment... I don't really know what to say though and I'm worried she won't agree to refer me . Phone appointments are hard, but ringing at 8 to get an actual appointment is harder, let alone using a day's energy to get to the surgery and back, so it's better overall.

My CBT therapist said she wouldn't have thought I was on the autistic spectrum, but agreed that it was worth investigating either to rule it out or to know about it to help treat my OCD. I guess it's less obvious depending on the situation - the more stressed I am, or the worse my ME is, the less I can 'do normal', and if someone is friendly and 'transparent' then I'm better too - they drive the conversation, they don't intimidate me, I can cope. If someone makes me uncomfortable or doesn't seem like they're smiling properly (like my psychiatrist) or, worst of all, is just like me and struggles with social stuff as well, conversation doesn't go well!

I hope your assessments go well Noeuf and LeChien

SouthWestmom · 11/06/2015 09:02

Thanks. When I was dx with ocd last year they said they couldn't see it (asd) but it was mentioned in passing at the first meeting and tbh by 41 I'm very good at first impressions. It's sustaining it that's hard. Everyone loves me at first but I can't keep it up and then end up alienating people

Original poster

EauRouge · 11/06/2015 09:16

My CBT therapist said I couldn't have ASD because I understand jokes Maybe one day I'll go for a proper diagnosis, but I need some time to recover from the shitty way the NHS treated me first.

We are thinking of getting DD1 assessed at the charity and then maybe going through the NHS for a diagnosis. She is home educated but she goes to a couple of extra-curricular activities. At Rainbows the other night she was hiding under a table. :( She does enjoy it but I would feel happier if they knew she was on the spectrum so they could help her out a bit if she wasn't feeling 100%.

Good luck with the phone call, Angua

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 11/06/2015 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SargeantAngua · 11/06/2015 12:36

Thanks. Well the doctor said aspergers wouldn't have been her first thought as I interact with her so well, but said there's a lot of overlap with personality types (we've had that chat before about my OCD, how being a perfectionist who likes things a particular way tips from being 'just how you are' to a problem that needs diagnosis and treatment) and that it's a spectrum. I explained why I thought I did have it and, in particular, why I thought a 'label' (her word) would help and she said she was happy to look into it for me. Thinks the waiting list is about a year though, and suggested I talk to the dragon psychiatrist when I next see her in August as well, as that might be quicker. I can predict the dragon psychiatrist's response though...

A bit downhearted, but at least she didn't say no outright, and she was completely happy with my reasoning for why I wanted to pursue it. She's going to do some research and ring me back next week.

Allofaflumble · 11/06/2015 14:23

*Noeuf" I have been thinking about you today. Good luck for tomorrow.

Athenaviolet · 11/06/2015 16:01

bertie I did do it solo last time-it was quick and the midwives didn't arrive until after the big event.

When I looked Ito having an IM over a decade ago it was £2k.

I'm getting the same mw for all my appointments and the birth this time. Hopefully that will be enough to lower my anxiety.

SargeantAngua · 11/06/2015 16:23

Yippeee the doctor just phoned back - she discovered that the CLASS service exists and is happy to refer me. I just have to write a letter to go with her referral explaining why I think I have aspergers and why I think a diagnosis would be beneficial, get it to her before Wednesday and she'll refer me!

Anxiety seems to be a big thing for all of us, doesn't it. Is it a case of finding the world so confusing and hard to navigate that it scares us do you think? Not understanding situations or how to react in them.

Original poster

EauRouge · 11/06/2015 16:54

That's fantastic news

OP posts:

CrohnicallyInflexible · 11/06/2015 17:40

I think anxiety might be the wrong word to describe it. Anxiety means thinking something is going to go wrong or dreading something happening. I get the same 'anxious' feeling often when things have already happened. My psychiatrist called it 'autistic arousal'- that is arousal meaning stress levels rather than sexual arousal!- and it seems to be a sort of anxiety/stress/anger mixture. I've seen it called 'agitation' in some literature.

I think it is linked with social understanding though, we learn to be wary of situations that have gone wrong before, and when something does go wrong we tend to replay it over and over, and work ourselves up about it again (at least, I do!).

BertieBotts · 11/06/2015 18:21

It's ADDS or ADHS in Germany :) Syndrome rather than Disorder. That makes sense, thanks.

Today was my busiest day of the week which always exhausts me, and then I discovered at the checkout that I'd left my card at home and had to walk back for it. Argh. And then had argument with DH because he shouted about me and DS being lazy and not doing anything :( I got annoyed because I thought he meant today, but I'd been out all day today, and he didn't, he meant generally. He later apologised but he is right that I've got behind again. It's so exhausting and depressing to always realise I'm back at square one, the good intentions just fade away.

Sorry I haven't caught up with others. Just trying to stay awake at the moment!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 39 40

Swipe left for the next trending thread