Neurodiversity support thread: Women with suspected/self-diagnosed/diagnosed ASC & ADHD

[EauRouge]

No sign of our own forum yet, so for now here's a new support thread for women on the autistic spectrum and/or with ADHD. Newbies more than welcome!

The old thread is here.

Here are some helpful links for newbies:

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

I took off Tony Attwood because it was about people with autism rather than for people with autism. Anyone else got any book recommendations?

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

If any of those don't work, it's because I'm cooking the DDs' dinner and I'm shit at multitasking. What's that burning smell?

"ADHD without the H" is known as ADHD predominantly inattentive, or ADHD-PI in the lastest DSM edition, IIRC. That's me too :)

Flumble, I sometimes have anxious dreams. I wonder if the karate chop dream was you being tense in that area in your sleep, which you felt as a pain (being karate chopped) and then that's why it ached in the morning. Or some kind of spasm maybe.

I'm sorry for your loss ALittleFaith . I have never lost anyone close to me. My grandparents are still alive but declining fast. I am frightened of the inevitable.

Re driving, I've been taking lessons for a year and a half (but not constantly, I have taken several large breaks in that time). I surprised myself by really liking it and taking to it! I thought I would be rubbish at it but actually I had no trouble at all with the driving, gears, clutch etc. The bits I struggle with are reverse parking, and noticing signs for speed limits and such. So still working on those.

Thanks Bertie, I guess can describe as ADD too?
Anyway, good to see some familiar posters here though of course I can never remember where I've come across people before. I'm amazed really if anyone can!
Am sorry for your loss ALittleFaith. Be kind to yourself x

You can yes Juggling, but it gets a little confusing. It used to be that it was attention deficit and hyperactivity was a separate thing, hence AD/HD being an older acronym. Then it changed to ADD and ADHD, and then it got too confusing with them being used interchangably so now they use ADHD with the suffix predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive, or combined type.

I've started and posted on ADHD threads before, perhaps that's where :) I recognise your name too.

Thanks for explaining a bit about the history Bertie
Pretty sure I've seen you posting about a variety of other things too. Do you have DC? I have dd(16) and ds(13) dd has just finished her GCSE's last Friday so summer of freedom is nice for her now!

Athena, Google the company and read up on them. Make sure you are well prepared for the why do you want to work for us stuff and say you feel nervous but are really happy to meet them. Remember they also have your cv and application so this is just one part.

Yes, I have a 6yo DS :) He's starting school this September as we live in Germany, so I'm at the opposite end of things to you.

Oh no Faith, I'm sorry I missed your earlier post :(

Thanks Bertie and Polter. In some ways I think it would be easier if we were still close. I've had close relatives go before (both grandfathers and my Mum). My grabdfathers both went suddenly. My Mum had cancer but she deteriorated rapidly. The pain is agonising but it's straightforward grief IYSWIM? This is weird. I'm upset but I'm not....I can't explain. I feel odd. I just want to curl up in a ball for a week.

Just thinking however you feel, whatever you want to do, is OK Faith.
Could that sort of thinking help at all?

Probably Juggling (hello from other bits of MN btw!). I don't feel much at all. I think I'm still in shock.

Faith, I'm really sorry.
My grandmother died under similar circumstances, I think I understand the odd feeling.

If you feel like curling up for a week, try to do that. Do whatever you need to do

Thank you LeChien. It is very strange. I saw the note she wrote my Dad some 19 years ago with her wishes and that made me emotional, seeing her handwriting and hearing her 'voice' again.

I was meant to be working the last 2 days and took time off (am only part time). Unfortunately I also have a chicken poxy DD (2) to care for. The positive is I need cuddles now and so does she! Mostly on the sofa watching TV.

I am sorry to hear of your loss ALittleFaith. I get emotional whenever I see any hand written items from my mother who has been dead some 12 years now.

Watching tv and cuddling your little one sounds the right thing to do now.

Bertie you are probably right about the karate chop in the dream.

It is in my nature to make more of things! ;)

ALittleFaith, I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my grannie last year. It's never an easy thing, even as an adult. It's difficult when there are no obvious rules to follow but I think people tend to cut you a lot more slack in terms of behaviour when you are grieving. I don't know if we feel grief differently than NTs, but I did see this book which might help you. Sending you lots of

Has anyone seen this video doing the rounds on FB? It's a woman with autism and her dog. He's specially trained to help during a meltdown. We're getting a dog soon and really want to train it like this, not sure where to start though. I don't tend to self-harm during meltdowns but DD1 does.

Thanks :) I have seen one charity that does training courses but you need an official diagnosis, which I still don't have. I'm sure either DD1 or I (or both) will have one next year. I'll ask my counsellor, I'm sure she said one of her other clients has been on a training course with her dog. I'm hopefully going to see some puppies this weekend, very excited!

Hello. Just barging in here without reading the full thread, I'm afraid.

I just got 165 out of 200 on the Aspie Quiz.

I don't know whether to seek diagnosis from a doctor.

I have been thinking about this as I seem to be having real difficulty in social situations, although I have some really good friendships that have lasted all my life.

So pleased to have found this thread though.

Hello, guidelines, welcome to the thread :)

An official diagnosis can give you legal protection, so if you're working and you need extra support or if you want to claim benefits then it would be helpful.

It can be difficult to get one though, especially as an adult female. Some areas are better than others and some GPs are better than others. It's pot luck really.

Hi! Thanks for the welcome. I think I will go to gp as I have been feeling quite low recently because of social issues etc.

I am self employed so may not help re work. I would like to have the diagnosis for my own peace of mind, I think.