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Original poster

To The People Who Owned My House Before Me I Would Just Like To Ask

291 replies

MintyyAeroEgg · 30/03/2009 21:18

Why, why, why, when the kitchen measures 25ft by 12ft, you chose to confine the kitchen area (all the units and appliances) to about 1/3 of the available space, and devote the remaining 2/3 to a dining area - which you chose to CARPET in dark green carpet. I just cannot get my head round what you were thinking of, you silly silly silly twunts.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
cissycharlton · 30/03/2009 22:04

Why did you glue the carpet to the floor

Why did you install a shower but no toliet in the en-suite

Why did you paint the lovely original Victorian coving orange

Why did you leave the work surfaces dirty for so long I had to remove the grease using a wallpaper scraper

Why were you such a pair of grasping old bastards

NotanOtter · 30/03/2009 22:04

...if you remembered putting £250 in out of use £5 notes in the bedroom cupboard

oh

and 'thanks!'

Polgara2 · 30/03/2009 22:06

How did you not notice that BOTH toilets were just flushing under the floor downstairs - how could you not smell it and so notice the broken drains?

Why did you not clean the kitchen EVER? In fact why did you not clean anywhere full stop?

How oh how did you not notice that your ds had left a fully loaded poopy pair of underpants in the airing cupboard about 10 years ago? (Offending underpants were age 3-4, the sons were at least 14 and 16 when they left ). Did you in fact have no sense of smell at all?

Did you think the 2 inch thick line of golden lab dog hairs along the edge of every carpet added to the decor perchance?

stealthsquiggle · 30/03/2009 22:06

iwontbite - one word for you - "potential"

We all fell for it

whyme2 · 30/03/2009 22:06

PMSL at the above.

SadieSunshine · 30/03/2009 22:08

Why did you do all your intial corgi training in my house? I can't quite believe a qualified fitter would have made such a hash of replacing a boiler.

3 boiler breakdowns and 2 leaks later...and we've only been in the house 18 months.

DisasterEggs · 30/03/2009 22:08

Why on earth did you paint the bathroom acid yellow? was it to go with or to contrast with the avocado suite?

why did you have 2 different floorings on the kitchen floor? lino then a different lino?

why when you decorated the house before putting in on the market did you not move the furniture? why dd you paint around the furniture leaving strange furniture shaped gaps on all the walls? throughout the whole house?

weird lazy bastards.

feedthegoat · 30/03/2009 22:09

Stealthsquiggle - I hold Phil and Kirsty responsible!

seb1 · 30/03/2009 22:10

Surely it would have been better to use picture hooks rather than no-nails to secure your pictures to the wall

Hassled · 30/03/2009 22:10

Why did you riddle the house with TV aerial sockets, when none of them were actually connected to the aerial on the roof?

Why did you describe the evil witch next door as "a sweet old thing, really"?

CharleeInSpring · 30/03/2009 22:10

Why did you drill the huge hole in the front room wall? Was it for your Tumble Dryer hose? Because if so that is so stupid!

Also why did you not clean the toilet or Bath, becuase now i have ingrained dirt in the bath that wont come out however much i scrub and i have a stained bog. You also felt it necissary to Carpet the side of the bath with skanky brown carpet, why was that? Was it to match the pink WALLPAPER in the bathroom and the brown tiles?

Also whilst im here why oh why would you cover the second bedroom walls in foam? Oh becuase of damp you say....... did you stop to think that i would never be able to get it off and thats is a nobby idea in the first place and that now if you lean on the walls your hand goes right through them...............................

treedelivery · 30/03/2009 22:11

HA! why did you paint the walls pink and the ceilinf, coving, fireplace and woodwork of the 6 origional bay sash windows peach?

It was like being in a battenberg cake.

Why were the bedroom ceilings navy blue?

MrsMcCluskey · 30/03/2009 22:13

Did you lot not see your houses before you moved in?

treedelivery · 30/03/2009 22:13

sorry but rofl at the foam walls. Perhaps relative bounced off them due to 'ishooos'?

iwontbite · 30/03/2009 22:13

hehe yes, I fell for the "potential" thing too. thankfully nothing half as bad as some of the stuff on this thread though
we have some rather dodgy electrics and evil textured wallpaper but that's about it.

am pmsl at this though, as is dp

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 30/03/2009 22:16

Why did you never visit specsavers to solve your eye problem so that every plug socket and light switch you replaced weren't wonky?

Why did you take (almost) all the skirting boards off the wall in the living room with you and leave the walls looking shocking?

Why did you not tell us you had neighbours from hell who slashed your tyres when you reported their shocking behaviour to the council?

Why oh Why did I have to view your house?

CharleeInSpring · 30/03/2009 22:19

OK to be fair i don't own mine i was rather desoerate when i rented it but still....

The family who are comlete nutter by the way now live in the falt below me, the lady cam up and said,

'have you discovered the foam on the bedroom walls yet?'

'Yes'

'We put it up, the walls were litterally running with water so we thought it would soak it up so we could wallpapr over the top'

me - Yeah thanks for that.............

Quattrocento · 30/03/2009 22:20

Thank you very much for cleaning the house exquisitely from top to toe.

I must admit that upon moving out I ripped out the ornate plasterwork you had installed all over the house at great expense. I also filled in all eight niches. What did you put in the niches by the way? What were they for?

The six dustbin liners full of porn in the loft were a bit of a surprise to the plumber, who has never looked us in the eye since.

But the biggest surprise to us was the arrival of the bailiffs. I do understand now why you didn't leave a forwarding address.

FAQinglovely · 30/03/2009 22:22

"Did you lot not see your houses before you moved in? "

Well yes we did - but the kitchen flooring - well we could see one (reasonably) nice vinyl on the floor - we didn't know there were another 4 underneath it

The bathroom wall and panelling - all freshly painted, no evidence of damp - and wasn't picked up in the survey either (very very clever, put your house on the market at the end of a very hot, very dry summer where the walls have had a chance to dry out considerably )

The rented house cupboard under the stairs - well it just looked like a wall to me until DS3 managed to get hold of the "wall" and open it revealing extra storage for me

Bleatblurt · 30/03/2009 22:25

Why did you paint the bedroom bright orange?

And why then paint the bedroom ceiling bright orange too?

Why the giant porn mirror in the main bedroom? [boak]

Why the purple swirly carpet in the hall?

Why the purple wallpaper in the hall?

Why the dangerous artex in the living room?

Why is every ceiling wallpapered (badly)?

Why is there only skirting on a few of the walls but not an entire room?

WHY OF FUCKING WHY did you tile the farking worktop in the kitchen. TILES, FOR A WORK SURFACE???

Why did you not leave room for a fridge when you put your kitchen in?

Why was the wallpaper ripped on every wall in every room.

And why the fuck did you take all the bloody lightbulbs when you left. Bastards.

iwontbite · 30/03/2009 22:26

at least you had a bigger kitchen once the floor came up FAQ! haha
and I did actually laugh out loud at the wallpaper door, that's a classic

UnquietDad · 30/03/2009 22:28

I would like to know why we have several light switches which do not appear to do anything.

Also - the "stippled" effect coving and ceiling rose in pink and green and the four different wallpapers in the bedroom. Why, for the love of god, WHY?

Bleatblurt · 30/03/2009 22:29

But thank you for not looking in your attic for a long time - the very old Silvercross pram I found only needed a bit of elbow grease and it came up perfect!

RealityIsMyOnlyChocolateEgg · 30/03/2009 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

naturalblonde · 30/03/2009 22:29

Why did you paint an 8 foot high union jack on the small bedroom wall?

Why did you paint an outer space scene on another bedroom wall, complete with aliens, a 10ft sun, black walls and stars?

Why paint the uPVC window frames in navy blue gloss?

Why knock a wall down between the kitchen and dining room and then suspend cupboards from the beam to recreate two rooms?

Why did you take the roof of the large concrete shed in the garden and just leave 4 walls? Would it not have been easier to knock the whole thing down?

Did you not notice that the electrics were 50 years old and the walls were live?

Why did you never hoover despite having 2 large dogs?

Why the woodchip paper in the kitchen?

Why tongue & groove all the way up the stairs and on the ceiling of the upstairs landing?

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