To The People Who Owned My House Before Me I Would Just Like To Ask

[MintyyAeroEgg]

Why, why, why, when the kitchen measures 25ft by 12ft, you chose to confine the kitchen area (all the units and appliances) to about 1/3 of the available space, and devote the remaining 2/3 to a dining area - which you chose to CARPET in dark green carpet. I just cannot get my head round what you were thinking of, you silly silly silly twunts.

Anyone else?

The house had been empty for a few weeks before we moved in, but it was a great idea to leave your bathroom window open so your fecking homing pigeons used it as a pigeon loft.

OMG the pigeon shit had to be seen to be believed.

And I never did work out the reason for the curry stains on the lounge ceiling.

When you converted the garage to a living room did you not consider to cap off the sewer properly before puttng laminate down or did you think that the laminate would hold back the stench when the sewer overflowed under the floor boards?

Did you not think that bypassing the fuse box entirely from the lighting circuit was potentially lethal or did you just think it would make he lights brighter?

Why the Custard Yellow?
EveryFuckingWhere
Why??
What posessed you???

stleger - carpet up side of bath - yes, snape, 2, plus one sunken bath surrounded* by carpet

Why, when we asked you whether the heating bills were big, did you not say you didn't get any bills because you had "fixed" the gas meter to make sure that no bills came, and truthfully you had no idea how much it cost to heat the house?

The answer, by the way is A Lot.

Seriously Stripeyknickers??

PMSL

Now that's bad

Why, why, why, did you artex every ceiling and put textured wallpaper on every wall? Actually, I know because it all needed re-plastered you fuckers.

Why did you take out a lovely Victorian fire place 30 years ago and replace it with something out of an Argos catalogue?

Why did you sell the flat to us with appliances included. The day after we moved in I had to buy a washing machine and fridge. We kept our fingers crossed that the cooker didn't explode whilst we saved up for a new one.

Oh and the boiler was on it's last legs too.

Why you somehow attached tubing for the dishwasher to tubing for the upstairs loo, which resulted in a very wierd smell in the kitchen when anyone flushed the loo......? Was that hygienic?

Why did you have mismatched wallpaper borders at varying heights in each room of the house, and why oh why were they stuck to the walls with bloody silicone??

Why did you not tell us about the leaky roof? Hiding it behind a bit of plaster board in the attic with a bucket behind it wasn't very nice was it?

Peppermint Patty - I swear its true. I was so skint (first house, on my own after leaving uni), it was over a year before I could afford to decorate. Bugged the hell out of me as my TV was a different size and it was obvious.

why did you make the airing cupboard bigger and so make the (only) bathroom smaller?

why did you live in such a pigsty for 20 years and left dog poo on the floor for us?

WHY did you paint the livingroom white with a lilac stripe that was different widths on different walls?
WHY the woodchip?? why? The walls were fine underneath, or would have been if the dodgy plastering didn't fall down when I steamed the woodchip
WHY artex one wall in the small bedroom so badly it cut my hand (seriously, think sharp icing waves)
WHY oh WHY wallpaper artex effect on the ceiling? Badly?
WHY all the layers of different coloured paint on the doorframes?
WHY build a wall around the pipes, then build a shelf so the sink ended up halfway in the bathroom?
WHY the wonky velux??
WHY did you paint your bathroom bright yellow then superglue coloured glass beads to the walls? It looked like a circus tent.
WHY stick 3 ceramic dolphins on the wall too?

Oh yes, and that spongy bit in the garden. Where it felt a bit "springy".

Why go to the trouble of burying your old mattress instead of walking it 100 yards down the road to the tip?

Blimey, there's some shocking stuff on this thread

Did you lock your small, 4ft wife in the kitchen every night? If not, what were all the scratch marks on the wall paper around the door frame & light?

pmsl! girl and boy

do you lot not view houses before you buy them????

And why when you decorated one of the bedrooms and the dining room did you not bother taking the old wallpaper off, instead you just papered on top of what was there. Thanks.

girlandboy - that is truely shocking!

Oh and why did you turf over the drain cover in the backgarden? You know - the bit where the lawn goes CLUNK!

Why did you never put up ANY blinds or curtains in the back of the house at all?
Why paint the hall luminous yellow?
Why try and cover the dirty walls by painting random bits with magnolia paint?
Why carpets in the bathrooms?
Why didn't you get the front bedroom window fixed, it was freezing in there?
Why didn't you pay the bills, so I wouldn't get baliffs round and have to prove I wasn't you by showing them my passport?

And was it a small child you sprayed round in the garage? I know you did up motorbikes in there but why does the outline on the wall look distinctly.....human.

why on earth did all of you people that owend our very first home before we did not bother to pull up the old kitchen flooring before you put new down.

As when our house was flooded and the kitchen floor needed to be replaced the fitters had to removed not one, not two, not even three layers of Vinyl - but 5 - it took them bloody hours, and by the time they're ripped up the remains of the 50yr old vinyl (or whatever they used in those days) off the floor the entire floor needed that ghastly screed put on - I was pg at the time and the smell, combined with having all my white goods in my lounge for over 24hrs nearly led me to kill my husband.

And why in gods name did the person who last decorated this house decide that wallpapering the door to the cupboard under the stairs (in the most hideous striper paper ever) the same as the walls was a good idea - I didn't even know the frigging thing existed for 3 days after moving in!

Oh and last ones - you cocky bastards who owned our last house before we did - yes we did eventually find out why you used masonary paint on the bathroom wall, and put the wood panelling along the bottom half of that wall - oh yes we did - when we got fed up of it all flaking off and discovered the entire wall was WET with damp.