Omg what do I do now?

[chocolatemuffin75]

I’ve been chatting to someone online for the past week, we have arranged to meet tomorrow, he’s just informed me he’s uploaded another photo of himself, as his others were not very clear and quite far away, my god he’s awful, I know looks aren’t everything but I just can’t meet him, Why couldn’t he have posted this one in the first place! He just looks so scruffy with a stubbly beard which I hate, his other photos are obviously older. How do I tell him I don’t wish to meet now? I feel a right cow but I just can’t meet him.

Awful lot of work when saying 'No, I don't want to meet anymore' takes less than 2 seconds.

🙊🙊
🤣🤣

Nowt wrong with the pirate look 😉

Personal taste is a weird thing - personally I don't think there are many men that do not look infinitely better with a bit of stubble - clean shaven puts me off more.

It would have been shallow for @chocolatemuffin75 to cancel the date based on his looks, if the conversation had been brilliant and they had been getting on really well, but given that the conversation wasn't there then 💁

But it is also important to not confuse having standards with having a preference - it is not a 'standard' to not like beards or earings it is a preference and that can change when you get to know people if the chemistry is there!

Some absolutely batshit replies 😂 the op doesn’t fancy him, it’s that simple. That doesn’t make her shallow or a gold digger or anything else she’s been accused of being on here.

Oh this has made me laugh sorry @chocolatemuffin75 'sorry mate you're a bit less good looking than I'd hoped when I saw you close up!' 😂

Seriously, you have every right to pull out and not see this man. Sounds like you weren't compatible anyway.

Better luck next time! 😘

My partner wears two hoop earrings and has a beard 😯😯 guess I should launch him in the bin 🤣

This.

Also, there's nothing wrong with having a physical preference! We all do.

I have known some take it a BIT far however... I had a friend (when I was about 19) who had a boyfriend, and she and he set me up on a blind date with one of his mates. This blind date saw me across the bar and walked off.

My friend's boyfriend came over to me and said 'he's gone, he thinks you're too fat sorry.' 😢

I mean, like WOW! 😂 I'm 5 ft 4ish and was a size 12 (size 8-10 in today's sizings,) and weighed 9 stone 5. Too fat!???!!! No wonder so many women end up with eating disorders when they're called fat at 9 stone 5, and a size 12 (size 8-10 today!)

So he had a preference for thinner chicks. He could have been a bit kinder though, and so could my friend's boyfriend! (He and my friend broke up about 6 months later...)

😂

I can assure you he didn’t look like this 😂

Arrrrrrrrrrrre you sure?! 😆

Depends does he say whiskers?

Perhaps he is really smart. He has sent it on purpose to trick you?

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No it’s definitely him, he just looks older.

You know how on parking threads, people love a drawing? I think we need a quick pen-portrait please 😁

I’m not sure how to do it 😀

Women are so funny to tie themselves up in knots about things like this and wanting to protect the man’s feelings…

when men in that situation would have ZERO compunction about dropping out if they did not fancy a woman

honestly, we are so conditioned to put men’s’ feelings above our own that it is ridiculous really

you don’t owe this bloke anything

he’s grown whiskers? Not your thing? Don’t even think about it.

this thread is like a show-and-tell about the patriarchy dictating that women must put men’s feelings above their own

I mean perhaps he is sending an unflattering pic to test you.

Even if it wax a shitty pic to “test” you , who wants to be tested anyway?

Life is not a Dharman Skit

I don’t think it’s a case of an unflattering pic, it’s a case of a pic showing him with “whiskers” (!) and a hoop earring, neither of which the OP finds attractive.

They aren’t inherently unattractive things, they just aren’t what the OP is looking for. Just as she could have sent an updated pic of herself with dyed purple hair or an eyebrow piercing and he could have said “sorry, not my thing, you do you though and have a great life”

I don't know what that means. years ago somebidy once described himself as a hideous gargoyle like creature, he was really nice.

I think OP should say " no thanks" not make up silly stories.

Say you've got back together with your partner. Or make up another excuse. No point telling him you prefer less scruffy men.

Then it’s your lucky day - she has said no thanks!

You were willing to meet someone despite the conversation not being good, but have an issue with an earring? Your priorities are all wrong.

Just say 'unfortunately something has come up' if you don't want to meet, but I think your approach is not sensible overall.