Omg what do I do now?

[chocolatemuffin75]

I’ve been chatting to someone online for the past week, we have arranged to meet tomorrow, he’s just informed me he’s uploaded another photo of himself, as his others were not very clear and quite far away, my god he’s awful, I know looks aren’t everything but I just can’t meet him, Why couldn’t he have posted this one in the first place! He just looks so scruffy with a stubbly beard which I hate, his other photos are obviously older. How do I tell him I don’t wish to meet now? I feel a right cow but I just can’t meet him.

Do yourself a favour and join Burned Haystack Dating Method on Facebook

This dude is giving you the ick, there's no point wasting your time or his. How about

"terribly sorry - a change in circumstances means I am no longer able to continue our chats or meet up. Good luck in your quest'

I think I would tell him that his new pic is so unlike his old ones that I've changed my mind. And then block and delete.

You don't owe him anything though, so if you don't want to do that, then just block and delete.

Once again, I am begging people to read the OP’s updates.

At least he has been honest with you .... even if he left it to the last minute to send the new photo. He was worried you wouldn't recognise him!

Or maybe he had seen that advert on TV, you know the really embarrassing and toe curling one, where a woman arrives at a restaurant for a blind date, only to find her father sitting at the table.😂😂😂😂

Not really. If it had been the other way around and he said he was unemployed and broke and it turned out he was a millionaire - you're lying to yourself if you pretend you'd walk away because of the lie. Nobody would. She's a gold digger.

Do not waste your time on this man. This will no doubt be the first disappointment of many. He knows he looks nothing like his pictures, that’s why he uploaded a new one.

Gold digger! 😂 where has me not liking whiskers and a hoop earring equate to me being a gold digger lol?

But that would actually make him seem less attractive: a blind follower of fashion who changes their very face because of a trend, rather than because he likes it, thinks its nice or suits him.

Makes him seem like he has no taste, personality or idea what looks good on him.

Anyway, OP very wisely isn't going to meet him.

Thank you for your words of wisdom! Which some people clearly lack on this thread, I’ve never been called a gold digger in my life 😂

I don’t actually care if he’s broke unemployed or a millionaire! Beard and earrings on a middle aged man don’t float my boat.

Who actually says whiskers, OP I would reply and say yes the whiskers has put me off, just so he knows. Plus I don’t blame you cancelling

Actually I work, pay my own bills, don’t claim any benefits and certainly don’t need a man for money, you have actually insulted me.

Some people really are weirder than weird.

My thoughts exactly, part of why I’m not meeting him.

I once chatted to a man for a week, was due to meet him and he messaged me that morning to “let me know” he was still a virgin. I called off the date NOT because he was a virgin, but because he’d made an assumption sex might come up before we’d even met. He didn’t see it that way and said I was shallow, I blocked him and moved on. Easy! If something about someone gives you the ick before you’ve even met, don’t waste the time meeting them. Plenty more men without earrings in the sea.

Or whiskers. Unless they're a walrus.

The idea that there's not a person in the world who would put integrity over money is pretty sad.

People may say it’s shallow but I completly agree with you. I could never date a man who wore an earring, particularly a hoop.

It’s an instant turn off for me, I feel how I feel and that’s it! Everyone has their turn offs, it’s ok if a hoop earring is one for you. I actually don’t wear jewellery myself as I’m not a huge fan so it’s not double standards 😂.

Id cancel, don’t waste yours or his time. You will find someone who doesn’t wear jewellery and say the word “whiskers”.

If the reason you don’t like him is cos he has stubble and earring no wonder you are single

The earrings and facial hair are red herrings. He decided to go on online dating which is predominantly based on initial looks ie only a good photo gets you a right swipe to show off your dazzling personality, and he chose old blurry photos in which he looks significantly different. He knew that yet still did it. Good choice to back out of it OP.

How about having a very early video call next time you’re texting? It can be just a five minute thing, not too much.

And…….gold digger? Wut?

Well you go on a date with someone you’re not attracted to then.

It’s better to be single than to be dating someone you aren’t attracted to, whether the lack of attraction is physical, personality based, or a combination of both.

Surely you just do what most sensible people do and ghost them 👻

To be clear - if it wasn't blindingly obvious from the strand in this conversation to which I was responding, the "she" in question is the hypothetical "she" in the scenario put forward by the previous poster who said people wouldn't judge a woman a gold digger if her date had initially claimed to be extremely wealthy and then revealed he was not. I was saying that person in this hypothetical situation would be a gold digger in my eyes. The poster pointed out that the potential partner had been a liar, but to that I countered that almost every woman would have been able to overlook that in a reverse situation (pretended to be poor, revealed himself to actually be wealthy)

So, you can see I was not calling you a goldigger