I think my cat stole someone's Sunday lunch

[Duckingella]

Just that really

My cat has just turned up on my patio with a small roasted chicken in his greedy mouth.

He has form for sneaking into neighbours houses through doors and we windows.

I can't really go knocking on doors to ask if anyone is moving missing their dinner

Mortified doesn't cover it

Live adult squirrel was the worst gift ever tbh.

Closely followed by baby squirrels.

Friends cat had the Christmas Turkey 2 years running, they did learn after that!

Reminds me of that book my little one likes reading, Slinki Malinki, the thief cat.

Such a funny thread. Cats are such devious little bastards 😂

My late spaniel once came home with a whole cooked chicken in her mouth. Like OP I was mortified and kept quiet!

My cat brought home a hot roasted leg of lamb once. Sat there growling at anyone that went near him while he ate it!

When I was a Nanny many moons ago the children's cat left headless guinea pigs on the patio for me over a period of weeks..
Never did find out where they came from!

Many (30?) years ago, when I was first dating my now DH, he had come to stay for the weekend, and we had been having a Sunday afternoon 'good time' in my living room (oh, the memories!). We were both naked - the cat chose that moment to come in through the cat flap with a pigeon in his mouth. The pigeon was very much alive - and the cat let him go.

I am very glad we had net curtains at the windows because I spent the next 10 minutes chasing a very peeved pigeon around my front room, with all my bits wobbling, whilst dh-to-be laughed his head off.

Rescued and released the pigeon. Fed the cat. Decided DH was a keeper :) I'm quite surprised he decided I was, too (and he ended up loving that cat!).

Our old Siamese boy was the greediest cat you could ever meet. He came home once with a raw pork chop (the sort with kidney attached), another time with a freezer bag of half-defrosted liver. He stole a piping hot sirloin steak off my mum's plate and legged off down the road, dragging it like some diminutive leopard. But his finest hour was fishing a huge gammon joint out of the saucepan and onto the floor while we were out. When we came home it looked like it had been through a mincer. He was sitting very upright, obviously enormously uncomfortable, with his belly bulging out over his feet. We ended up ringing the vet as we were genuinely concerned he'd die as a result of overeating - but after many bowls of water, he settled down. The next day he stole my tuna sandwich.

He didn't seem to fancy gammon for a few weeks though.

There is a poor dog or poor cat somewhere out there with a massive boot up its arse, poor thing! 😂

God I hope the chickenless person posts something on their local Facebook page. Or even better, Mumsnet.

I had a cat bring home a dead cockatiel! I looked around locally to see if there were any signs up, it was pre-Internet days so couldn't post in local groups etc.
Also had the cooked roast leg of lamb experience, a different cat.
A friend's cat brings home socks and underwear.

Take it as a huge compliment! Cats bring us food because they think we are a bit rubbish and might starve. Yours clearly believes you have your act together.

Many years ago one of our cats raided a koi carp pond in one of our neighbours garden. Each morning we’d go downstairs to find a huge dead fish lying on the door mat inside by the kitchen door. He did three of them over three nights until we barricaded the cat flap.

You win

My cousins dog went missing for a couple of hours . He turned up with a freshly roasted leg of lamb clamped in his jaws 😆😆

DP’s very large dog fled with the huge rib of beef DH had left to rest as he answered the door to the guests who’d come for roast rib of beef dinner. Apparently he had form for this but didn’t normally steal from his own household.

Ours are indoor cats but bring me hair bobbles, feathers and friendship bracelets out of my daughter’s jewellery box! The last friendship bracelet was bought in with much loud chirruping fanfare and it had “ je t’aime!” Stitched accross the bracelet material!! 🥰

One of our cats did this when I was a teenager, caught her trying to get it through the cat flap. Mine and DHs first cat tonight used to like to steal the neighbours underwear, socks kept appearing and we saw her come through the window one day with a thong, soooooo embarrassing taking her underwear back to her.

My dog once ate all a fisherman's bait.

Also had a cat that used to bring home bits of road kill and try to pass them off as his own 😑

When I was younger our dog knicked a fag out my uncle’s open packet in the garden and ran around like a loon doing laps of the lawn with a fag ( unlit) hanging out her mouth 😂

The dog stories have reminded me of the time my late dog was on a walk with my friend and his dog.

The furry pair spotted a disposable barbecue and promptly stole the food off it.

It was karma though as it was in a country park and barbecues had been banned that Summer following a series of fires in the park caused by them.

My cat once turned up with a huge slice of ham in his mouth. He yowled so loudly to tell us about it that he damaged his voice box and was reduced to a croaky whisper for the rest of his days.

My cat was Yowling too;I'm not sure if he was bringing it home for us or his little sister who was very annoyed we wouldn't let her outside to enjoy the chickeny goodness

Our beagle once pinched someone's bacon sandwich out of their hand DH was mortified lol. I was in a shop and pretended not to know him!

One of our brought, at different times, a live fantail pigeon (left it in the bathroom for me to find, not sure who was more surprised), a half dressed pheasant & a live bat. Our rescue came back one lunch time with half a cheese toastie, which he wasn't giving up for anyone.