I think my cat stole someone's Sunday lunch

[Duckingella]

Just that really

My cat has just turned up on my patio with a small roasted chicken in his greedy mouth.

He has form for sneaking into neighbours houses through doors and we windows.

I can't really go knocking on doors to ask if anyone is moving missing their dinner

Mortified doesn't cover it

Caught one of our cats m, on the work surface, licking the marinade off a huge loin of venison which was New Years Eve dinner for 14 friends
They never knew!

This just reminded me of when my little cat brought two small snakes onto my home office.
Carefully removed with the aid of bbq tongs whilst wearing gardening gloves.
Only problem was that what seemed to be small snakes, uncoiled themselves to about a metre long once picked up

My cat bit my priest. She didn't break the skin, just firmly put her canines on the leg of the priest. She moved off after a pause likely to be a warning in her eyes. I was mortified!

I didn’t realise this had made it to classics 🤣

My little chicken stealer will be delighted he’s brought joy to so many.

One of our cats (a British Cream, sadly missed) once got blessed by our priest.

We had recently moved into a new house and had asked Father X to come round to bless the house. He went from room to room, sprinkling Holy Water liberally as he went until he reached our bedroom. More Holy Water - except the cat was lying on the bed, got rather wet and levelled a look of unutterable contempt at the priest.

I can't say that it improved his behaviour.

What goes
Thud
Thud
Thud?.
A dcat trying to get a dead seagull through a cat flap. We lived quite a long way from any sea....
Dm was fuming....
So was dcat when dm binned it...
Dcat also used to open the fridge - claws in the seal bit along the sides. Her and ddog were in cahoots and always shared the booty...

When we were growing up my sisters cat climbed in the neighbours kitchen window and was on the counter eating the steak that was defrosting for dinner. The lady of the house caught him and you could hear her screaming from streets away. He got away with a prime piece.

After I’d left home I was having a bit of a dinner party, a roast leg of lamb. We were sitting in the dining room around the table, merrily eating. I could see through to the kitchen and noticed my cat straddling the rest of the roast gnawing away. I engaged my guests in spirited conversation in an effort to distract them. Which worked until the roast rolled onto the floor with a loud thunk which got their attention. No one wanted seconds.

@Nosaucelikemintsauce my cat once brought a very live but rather maimed pigeon in through the cat flap. I have no idea how he did that. Once inside it got away and flew behind the sheer curtains. Cat then tried to get it back out which resulted in bloodied curtains ripped to ribbons splattered in blood and feathers,

He was not popular for a good while after that.

Same cat also brought home a (also live) peach face parakeet. We rescued it then had to go door to door looking for the owner but we weren’t game to admit how we’d come across it.

Not my cat on this occasion (I don't know who it belonged to) but some time ago, on a lovely summer's day, I was in the kitchen cleaning a trout for my lunch. It was very warm so the back door was open. I had painstakingly descaled and deboned it and prior to grilling it, decide to pop to the loo.

When I came back downstairs, the last I saw of my lovely trout was in the jaws of a bloody daring cat as it streaked away down the garden and over the fence.

My cat once helped herself to the remainder of the roast beef joint that was cooling on the worktop. Never heard a cat growl so much when we tried to get it but😂😂😂 after this all meat was cat proofed.... covered with a colander and a saucepan on top 😂😂😂 another one of ours was very good at pilfering packed lunches 😂😂😂

I'd love to see the look on the person's face that came across a half eaten trout on their lawn!