Jewish Orthodox mum AMA

[jewishorthomum]

I'm a 29 yr old Jewish Orthodox religious mum of 2 little boys. Is there anything you'd like to ask about Orthodox Jewish life?
Kill my time whilst I'm waiting to be called in for an appointment.
(When I get called in for my app I'll have to run but will try respond later if there are questions.)

@13Bastards for frum Jews no, there is no equivalent, we couldn’t recite a blessing to make a food kosher.

Definitely not allowed to just pray something on non halal food, it's all about saying the name of the Lord at the time of slaughtering the animal.
I have heard some Muslims say they'd eat kosher if they couldn't find halal but even that's prohibited in Islam. The only time it would be allowed is if someone was dying of hunger and the only food available was non halal meat and even then only enough would be classed halal to save one's self from death.

I also wondered this as we watched that. It was a fascinating programme but I also wondered if their infertility was linked to the missing the peak time. It was so sad to see how much it hurt

Thanks @shard5 and @EllaDisenchanted it sounded odd to me but assumed I just have misunderstood the rules. Appreciate the response

Do you find women in senior roles in the synagogues? As Rabbis for example?

Do you have long hair under your wig? I thought Orthodox women cut off their hair when they married. Is it easier to wear a scarf?

@TennisWithDeborah yes, I am very lucky to have multiple family trees from several grandparents, one family tree goes back to the early 1700s, another to the tenth century.

One of my grandmothers came to the UK straight after kristallnacht.

A burning question I always have had but can never find the question online -

In Jewish areas, I see so many Jewish schools, primary, secondary, boys and girls schools. I also see many Jewish kids dressed in traditional attire in these areas. However, I hardly ever saw this in my (three diverse universities that I studied at and one I now work in - of course its not representative but rather just an observation) and I never really saw Jews dressed like this.

I guess my question is, after visiting Jewish primary and second schools, what tends to come next for Orthodox Jews? Do they study in standard universities? Do they still wear the attire they wore to school?

I'm very glad that she was able to leave at that point. It was tough to emigrate, though. Did she have contacts in the UK?

I seem to get the impression that Orthodox Jews live in North West London and Jewish people in Stamford Hill, though appearing much more religious to a non-Jew, aren't called Orthodox.

Why is that?

@StandUpForYourRights there are multiple jewish fertility organisations; if early ovulation was the cause (i.e. nida during ovulation), they would advise how to manage nida in these cases.

I know the OP has said she is orthodox but not Chasidic, and this is more about Chasidic I think - in my work I've encountered the difficultly of teenage boys being taken out of schools and send to what the government considers to be "unregistered schools". Full time yeshivas that focus almost entirely on religious teaching, and where very little to no secular education is provided. The people involved claim that the boys are being home educated, when they are not, and they leave unprepared for modern life and sometimes barely able to speak English. How is this viewed in the wider orthodox community?

Some more mainstream orthodox Jewish schools that do largely comply with the legal requirements of mainstream schooling still don't want to provide any teaching about things like LGBT people, and don't meet equalities legislation. For example a bullying policy wouldn't say that being bullied for someone's sexuality was unacceptable, and they would argue that the pupils at the school don't know about LGBT people, so they wouldn't bully anyone for being gay. I find that a strange argument, when statistically some of the pupils attending are going to be gay, even if that is seen as not acceptable to express in their religion. Was that a thing at your school OP?

@Maireas She was a child at the time, I don't remember how old but old enough to very clearly describe kristalnacht to us. She was raised by relatives as she was already orphaned, and they were lucky enough to get out in time. They had business contacts in London i believe.

Thank you for your reply. Good to hear they would get some help as their pain in not conceiving was very obvious. And something like that would be so simple to resolve

@maireas my hair has been all lengths. I prefer it shoulder length because it is curly and suits me better like that. I've had it long and can get it under a wig but that is because it is thin.

I read somewhere that some Jewish women had to financially support the family as their husbands did not work or contribute as they were full time unpaid religious scholars.
Please can you help me understand?

yes there are lots of female rabbis, Baroness Julia Neuberger is a well known one in the UK for example.

Shtisel is the most moving and beautiful drama I’ve ever seen….

Have you seen it OP, and does it reflect your
experiences? I thought it was very sensitively done.

Ok, thank you. I did read that Orthodox women shaved their heads on marriage, so that's obviously a myth.

Goodness. She was one of the lucky ones. Although no doubt had to leave everything behind.

Thank you for this really interesting thread.

I have a couple of questions if you (or someone else wouldn't mind answering them).

Firstly, is orthodox the same as Hassidic? Although I see Chassidic written on this thread, not sure if they are the same thing.

Second question - if you wanted to leave the orthodox lifestyle, would your family and friends disown you?

Third question, and perhaps a bit of a random question, but...I see you say that you can't eat milk and meat together. My little one still breastfeeds and fed around an hour ago. She is now sitting eating her dinner, homemade chicken nuggets and vegetables. Would this be banned in Judaism if milk and meat can't be consumed within 6 hours of one another or does breastmilk not count?

I have a colleague who says she is Jewish culturally rather than religiously. Her and her husband did not circumcise their son, as she says culturally the religion is passed down the mothers line he is Jewish in her eyes I wanted to know whether for you he would be considered Jewish? I hope you don’t find me offensive but I see circumcision on young boys who can’t consent wrong.

Are your husband's allowed to be with you when you give birth ?
Are you allowed to have a non Jewish midwife ?

I remember being on a coach holiday and the lady sitting with me was beautiful dressed but my oh my her hair was dreadful and I now realise it was a wig. I found out she was Jewish because she talked to her DIL abut getting home in time to clean out the cupboards etc etc. Like you mention, some women wear nice wigs. I saw a documentary type thing about Jews in this country (UK). One lady had a bob style wig that suited her well. Another woman was buying ready cut pieces of foil which I thought was genius.

I want to ask a question but am not sure how to word it. There is a word for something used so women can take their babies out to the park in their prams. I tis some sort of barrier put up and I remember reading that it made the place look ugly. I cannot remember the name for it though.

Also, just out of interest, what do you eat on the Sabbath? I seem to remember reading about a lot of cold food but I may have got this wrong.

Thanks. This has been fascinating!

Are male relatives (your brother, father) allowed to see your natural hair after marriage? Are female friends/relatives?

Are there kosher baby milk formulas?

If candles/light are not allowed on the Sabbath, how did people manage before the invent of timers to turn the lights on in winter when its dark? (I'm thinking of my old bathroom which had no windows or external light at all).