To be traumatised by my own undercarriage?!

[NameChangeLifeChange]

As I was wiping this morning it felt a bit sensitive down below which is unusual so I thought I’d have a look and see what’s going on.

WELL

I haven’t looked at my vulva since my second DC was born three years ago and dear god I will never look again. My poor vulva which, let’s be honest wouldn’t have won a beauty contest before but was perfectly serviceable and ‘normal’ looking’, looks like it’s been blended. Or put through a washing machine. I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with it (infection, prolapse etc) but it looks awful. The labia are fine but inside there’s like a squishy circle (?!) that’s all flappy and messy with protruding skin. I actually almost felt tearful and hugely embarrassed that DH has seen it in all its messy glory.

Is this normal?! I’ve had two vaginal births. I don’t have any pain, might get some caneston in case of thrush but I don’t think there’s a medical issue it’s just a hideous mess. I had a smear recently and kind practice nurse didn’t say anything and I assume she would of I’d have had an abundance of genital warts/prolapse.

In my 20s I had a boyfriend who suggested I get labioplasty. He went on to marry someone else and they have three children.

l’m now wondering what her fanny looks like.

Pum-pum? Fucking pum-pum? Dear God...

I should definitely have been more specific, yes I work in an OPERATING theatre, although there's definitely a lot of amateur dramatics that goes on in there from the surgeons!!

Does the ‘spongy’ circle make you feel like there’s a tampon or just something inside your vagina? I had this and it turned out to be a rectocele. It felt like the end of the world at the time but I got the Sqeezy app and started doing pf exercises religiously. That was seven years ago and all seems fine. I still do the exercises but it’s so much a part of my days I don’t mind. I can now do so much more, lifting, abdominal exercises and aerobics. So if you do have a slight prolapse you can improve it.

All the best op

Sheela says there's nothing wrong with a generous fanny.

3 2nd degree tears means I am never, ever investigating. But yes it feels a bit like those little fillets you get at the butcher's where the fleshy bits poke out from the string. Every now and then the stitched bits seem to rearrange themselves.

I'm laughing so hard and have had to explain this reply (& thread) to my 13 yr old DD😂😂😂😂😂

PMSL at this. Currently 35 weeks pg with #3, both previous babies were c sections but not without trying with forceps etc. Words fail me to describe what I see down there these days. In preparation for surgery I've also had a go at some topiary (the scar area needs to be bald) and I can't see a fucking thing over my belly so I've managed to hack chunks out of the bush that was helping to hide the horrors below....I gave up. The surgeons can have a laugh. I will hopefully be off my face on drugs by that point.

Making a mental note to look down there AFTER consuming my first post baby bottle of gin.

This discussion is the best ever, and some of the replies have had me howling, crying with laughter. Then I thought I'd have a little look at my own. I found a handy sized mirror, adopted 'the stance' ..... ooooh dearie me ...... they're not a thing of beauty, are they? I mean, I wouldn't have it as a screen saver, that's for sure!! It does all its supposed to do, and I've not had any complaints ... but I don't think I'd want it looking at me from the mantelpiece!! Lol!

Howling!! I'm going to have to have a look down there after this thread. It's been a while. I had DC3 a couple of months ago and although he ended up an emergency section I was in labour a while and pushing so we'll see what that has added to the carnage. Also just having flashbacks to me with my legs open and the midwife shining a spotlight on it to see what was going on. Poor woman

I wouldn't have it as a screen saver, that's for sure!!

Maybe we should all change our screensavers so if in the office we know who’s a mumsnetter, without having to actually say you’re a mumetter. I’m sure no one would mind 🤣

Oh God yes, I had an episiotomy and forceps with ds, lots of stitches by a doctor who would never have made a living as a seamstress. Ds was 9lbs, I’m of slight build and I’ve never been the same, I remember seeing my fanny for the first time and it looked like it had been through a mincer.

16 years on and it’s never recovered to its former glory and still looks a bit chewed down there. DH seems endlessly delighted with the whole set up though and visits often, so who am I to worry about it?

Pum pum is common slang for vulva in Jamaica.

I’ve had 2 vaginal deliveries, a 9 pounder and an eight pounder.

I know that I had a labial tear with the first and an internal repair to stitch a tear.

I also know and it was confirmed when I was having a colonoscopy that I have a decent size haemorrhoid.

Sometimes when I poo I need to hold my perineum to get it out.

I can’t imamagjgntnat these things anke for a terribly neat and tidy undercarriage. Nobody sees it these days but thread has made me wonder what state it’s actually in. As I’m currently in a Premier Inn with dc2 where I only have access to a mirror over the sink in the bathroom or a full length mirror in the bedroom, I’m going to have to wait a couple of days to get home before I can investigate!

I had dryness, itchiness, the works lately. I got a treat it at home Boots treatment and now I feel like a model which is so weird but I was just so uncomfortable before. It doesn’t look great but I’m just happy it wasn’t forever!!

I've not given birth yet and this thread has my imagination running wild uniform what a punched lasagna looks like 😆

I bloody love Mumsnet. This, THIS, is exactly the conversation I need to have but it’s not one you can start with your mates over a glass of wine (2nd or 3rd bottle maybe!). I had an 11 lb vaginal birth and he is now 17. Fair to say that things have generally been less springy than they once were, but I have generally taken the view that I got away with it. Today was the first day I have ever looked. It’s all so………. Purple. And I while I can tuck it all in, but it’s definitely all trying to escape. And furry. Why is everyone else going bald while I have a pelt that would make an arctic animal proud?

@Vecnasnurse

The snapping demogorgon has made me hoot out loud

My pubes are definitely thinning but the ones that have vacated my pubic area have congregated down my bum crack ffs and there's a breakaway group doing a runner down my inner thighs .

@Garfieldonthebox
I have the same problem. Not nice but I don't fancy the surgery to fix it. I had some repair work when my 3rd was little but after the surgery it was SO painful and the swelling so bad that the exterior stitches burst.
The great thing about this thread is that it helps us to realise that our fannies are not oil paintings and none of us, post birth or post menopause, will win a Butlins Holiday Camp Beautiful Fanny competition.....

God I daren't look at mine. Ancient old crone that I am. Joked when I went for a smear that it would be full of cobwebs as nobody had been in there for years. Found I had vaginal atrophy and didn't even know. Couldn't get the speculum in there and drew blood.

And my clitoris seems to have disappeared. Is this normal after menopause? All those jokes about men not being able to find it are backfiring a bit nowadays

Occasionally mine is wild outside of my knickers too - my left labia likes to try and escape for some air sometimes

Absolutely laughing my arse of at this!

Peter the pile made me laugh so much my dog woke with a jump 😂