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Original poster

To be traumatised by my own undercarriage?!

351 replies

NameChangeLifeChange · 15/08/2022 09:24

As I was wiping this morning it felt a bit sensitive down below which is unusual so I thought I’d have a look and see what’s going on.

WELL

I haven’t looked at my vulva since my second DC was born three years ago and dear god I will never look again. My poor vulva which, let’s be honest wouldn’t have won a beauty contest before but was perfectly serviceable and ‘normal’ looking’, looks like it’s been blended. Or put through a washing machine. I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with it (infection, prolapse etc) but it looks awful. The labia are fine but inside there’s like a squishy circle (?!) that’s all flappy and messy with protruding skin. I actually almost felt tearful and hugely embarrassed that DH has seen it in all its messy glory.

Is this normal?! I’ve had two vaginal births. I don’t have any pain, might get some caneston in case of thrush but I don’t think there’s a medical issue it’s just a hideous mess. I had a smear recently and kind practice nurse didn’t say anything and I assume she would of I’d have had an abundance of genital warts/prolapse.

OP posts:
RiderGirl · 16/08/2022 19:30

I work in theatres and I see loads of vulvas, and also penises. I can say hand on heart that vulvas are much of a muchness, generally similar to look at, and that there is FAR more variation in the shape and size of men's penises and testicles. I honestly wouldn't be worrying about what yours (or mine, or anyone's) looks like!! Although with the variation in penis size that I see I can understand why men are so insecure about theirs!

MagsR2356 · 16/08/2022 19:33

Hi I’ve had a few babies, all vaginal and I had a shock last time I looked ( I wish I hadn’t!) Sounds similar and I actually was so freaked out I asked my gp who said normal skin tag type of trauma after vaginal birth! Before that I was worried as Looks a bit like prolapse round type thing! Maybe ask at next exam or appointment?

RiderGirl · 16/08/2022 19:33

Also when I was pregnant with my second DD I had the biggest, purplest, most bulbous varicose veins all over my vulva and bum that you've ever seen. They were revolting, yet still my husband DIDN'T CARE!!

Superbabe64 · 16/08/2022 19:36

This is the funniest thread on here for a while...I hope it makes in to 'classics'😆

BobinogBobbleHat · 16/08/2022 19:36

ancientgran · 16/08/2022 19:24

When I had a check up with my GP after my first was born, he looked at my episiotomy and said, "Did the doctor who stitched this have a personal grudge against you." That summed it up really well.

I'm still convinced some kid on work experience did mine.

Rwealere · 16/08/2022 19:47

Taillighttoobright · 15/08/2022 10:06

Thank God for threads like this one.

Here here!

FormAnOrderlyQueue · 16/08/2022 19:57

Slimemonster · 15/08/2022 12:05

Mines like a 'badly packed kebab' after 2 vaginal births, 1st one had stitches too.

Omg this is hilarious 🤣

capricorn12 · 16/08/2022 20:00

I had so many stitches with DS1 that mine's like Frankenstein's fanny and I've added a whole village of piles by having another 2 DC's but I don't get it out in public so I try not to think about it (and not to look).

Callipygion · 16/08/2022 20:01

2018SoFarSoGreat · 15/08/2022 22:20

Now I really want to (don't want to) take a look, but thankfully I'm at work.

It's the post menopausal hair loss that gets me. Nobody EVER mentioned that this happens, and I fully expected to become grizzly gray or white, but not to have... I don't know - a monk's tonsure? There remains hair in all of the inconvenient bits, and on the sides, but there is a large swath of totally bald - shiny bald! - skin in the middle of my mons - where it used to be copiously curly. What? How did that happen? I seriously spent many, many long minutes contemplating what might have rubbed the hair off.

Blad. Bald and probably horribly ugly. I'm a little sorry that I lost all of that weight and can now see it all again. Only consolation is that the thing works for all the things it should, so I guess I'll keep it and be grateful.

Mine’s like that too, and has been since I had a caesarean with my first baby (he’s 27 now!). They shaved me and the middle bit, under the incision, never grew back. The baldy bit has gone all smooth and shiny over the years like yours, and now the hairy bits are getting more and more sparse and grey! Grey! 😭

Flowersintheattic57 · 16/08/2022 20:03

BobinogBobbleHat · 16/08/2022 19:36

I'm still convinced some kid on work experience did mine.

Show quote history

I think he must have done mine too. My scar tissue still flares up even after forty five years!

BadNomad · 16/08/2022 20:03

So, piles! My "friend" has had one for over a year. Every time she sits on the loo, or is just minding her own business watching Netflix & snacking, she feels the little fucker slip out and swell up. Then because he only goes away when pressed on, it usually ruins the Netflix & snacking. Dr Google says piles go away on their on after a week. A week!

I guess my questions are - is that random inflating and deflating thing normal? Is it never going to go away on its own at this point? The creams and suppositories did nothing. Just lubed the way for it to slide out more. It's not purple, just fleshy. Is it even a haemorrhoid? Is my ass falling out?? 😫

ApronLady89 · 16/08/2022 20:04

Mimilamore · 16/08/2022 19:23

Oh and mine looks like a crimped Cornish pasty between bum hole and fanny, I'm sure a gathering stitch was used

Yess!! Me too 🤣🤣🤣 third degree tear!

Surgeon did a really good job tbf but it does resemble a pasty!!

Onlyhuman123 · 16/08/2022 20:05

I'm crying at some of these descriptions! You poor ladies!

Mine, after 2 vaginal 10lb-ers is very mangled and skin is very dark...reminds of something out of Stranger Things tbf.

I had a 2nd degree tear with 1st DC and I had a trainee midwife stitch me up and I remember her calling another midwife to help and saying 'what do I do with this bit' as she flapped some excess skin down there...all with the door to the room wide open and my fanny on display to the world and his wife...🤦‍♀️ nothing has been right down there ever since!

My grandma said to my mum when she went into hospital to give birth and my mum said to me 'leave your dignity on the doorstep of the hospital on your way in; pick it up on your way out'. So true!!

ANewNameANewDay · 16/08/2022 20:19

Mimilamore · 16/08/2022 19:23

Oh and mine looks like a crimped Cornish pasty between bum hole and fanny, I'm sure a gathering stitch was used

I've just guffawed at this. Tears.

Vapeyvapevape · 16/08/2022 20:21

As well as menopause minge , I also have an anal fissure ,complete with a skin tag and piles . I can't work out what needs to be poked back and what doesn't. I just need to add a couple of leaves and I'd look like a bloody grape vine .

Callipygion · 16/08/2022 20:21

RiderGirl · 16/08/2022 19:30

I work in theatres and I see loads of vulvas, and also penises. I can say hand on heart that vulvas are much of a muchness, generally similar to look at, and that there is FAR more variation in the shape and size of men's penises and testicles. I honestly wouldn't be worrying about what yours (or mine, or anyone's) looks like!! Although with the variation in penis size that I see I can understand why men are so insecure about theirs!

I thought you meant theatres, like where you go to see plays! It’s taken a while for me to register you mean hospital theatres - at least I hope you do! 🤣🤣

Atomicspider · 16/08/2022 20:23

Brilliant thread.
But isn’t it so frustrating….
Loads of things mentioned on this thread and as a serious internet hypochondriac I’m straight to google images to diagnose myself. And lo and behold I can’t get past pages and pages of cross section crap reproductive diagrams and it’s nearly impossible to see photographs!
Why can I see a million porny fannies with ease but if I want to see a photograph of real conditions that affect so many women it’s nearly impossible.

Squiff70 · 16/08/2022 20:29

ancientgran · 16/08/2022 19:24

When I had a check up with my GP after my first was born, he looked at my episiotomy and said, "Did the doctor who stitched this have a personal grudge against you." That summed it up really well.

Howling!

Brbreeze · 16/08/2022 20:33

Vecnasnurse · 16/08/2022 19:30

I had my first 2 dc in Greece where they give you a '4 o'clock' episiotomy whether you need it or not. They cut me on opposite sides for each dc, so I had 2 diagonal cuts running away from the opening complete with flappy bits. Third dc was born in UK and I tore straight down through the perineum. If you ever saw me sneeze while naked, you'd think a demogorgon was snapping at you.

This made me laugh out loud 🤣

OldFan · 16/08/2022 20:33

I think most pum-pums look a bit weird if you try and look at them in a mirror.

Notlosinganyweight · 16/08/2022 20:35

LilacSky95 · 15/08/2022 16:26

@Bananalanacake yes, mone was the exact same after 4 vaginal births but I had surgery to repair it x

How much was that? Had episiotomy 2nd degree which was fine. Then had 1st degree tear with second dc and was reassured by two midwives it was fine and healing, but it's not the same. My OH face when having sex after second child said it all really. I'm annoyed, as I asked for stitches and the midwives said they were not necessary.

CornflowerBlue62 · 16/08/2022 20:43

RiderGirl · 16/08/2022 19:30

I work in theatres and I see loads of vulvas, and also penises. I can say hand on heart that vulvas are much of a muchness, generally similar to look at, and that there is FAR more variation in the shape and size of men's penises and testicles. I honestly wouldn't be worrying about what yours (or mine, or anyone's) looks like!! Although with the variation in penis size that I see I can understand why men are so insecure about theirs!

I’ve no idea why I thought you meant West End theatres rather than operating ones and spent valuable milliseconds wondering what sort of plays your drama company put on

Garfieldonthebox · 16/08/2022 20:43

@Dummycrusher Is sex normal/the same for you? I’m scared what will happen 🙈

Oh god, yes the clitoris thing! I had stitches and ever since then, everything feels weird and as though it’s moved around/disappeared 🤷🏻‍♀️Anyone else

God, op, I’m so happy you wrote this thread as I’ve kept all this to myself and honestly felt like somethings seriously wrong with me

QueenoftheFarts · 16/08/2022 20:44

You are a hero for posting this.

I am especially disappointed that the once luscious bush now looks like a sparsely hairy coconut.

Also had a prolapse that was repaired.... but still... I don't need to see it.

My husband loves it though, so perhaps much in the way that I am not remotely fussed that his balls appear to be heading to his knees, he also doesn't care that my fanjo is showing signs of shagging, childbirth, episiotomy, prolapse repair, old age and dwindling pubes....

Suzi888 · 16/08/2022 20:46

Butteryflakycrust83 · 15/08/2022 10:01

Oooh this happened to me a few weeks ago. I had a good ol look and it was like there was something between my urethra and vagina? It grossed me out and i am sure it wasnt like that before. Add to that sparse pubes everywhere apart from my bikini line, Peter the Pile hanging out my bumhole and labia that look like a wrinkled ballbag.

Husband absolutely gives no hoots!

I had a c section so I cant even blame a vaginal birth!

Honestly, I would forget about it!

Peter the pile 🤣

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