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Original poster

To be traumatised by my own undercarriage?!

351 replies

NameChangeLifeChange · 15/08/2022 09:24

As I was wiping this morning it felt a bit sensitive down below which is unusual so I thought I’d have a look and see what’s going on.

WELL

I haven’t looked at my vulva since my second DC was born three years ago and dear god I will never look again. My poor vulva which, let’s be honest wouldn’t have won a beauty contest before but was perfectly serviceable and ‘normal’ looking’, looks like it’s been blended. Or put through a washing machine. I don’t think there is anything ‘wrong’ with it (infection, prolapse etc) but it looks awful. The labia are fine but inside there’s like a squishy circle (?!) that’s all flappy and messy with protruding skin. I actually almost felt tearful and hugely embarrassed that DH has seen it in all its messy glory.

Is this normal?! I’ve had two vaginal births. I don’t have any pain, might get some caneston in case of thrush but I don’t think there’s a medical issue it’s just a hideous mess. I had a smear recently and kind practice nurse didn’t say anything and I assume she would of I’d have had an abundance of genital warts/prolapse.

OP posts:
Squiff70 · 15/08/2022 16:38

I can't stop laughing at this thread. I'm 9 months pregnant and literally about to pop. I decided to have a look down there with a mirror last night and made a mental note never to do it again.

I've had 4 vaginal births, but very tiny babies. I have no idea if dinky babes have quite the same catastrophic effect as huge babes but anyway...

I mean, things used to be quite neat and tidy. No flappy, wrinkled, purple bits. Absolutely not the case any more. Also made a mental note to buy some Bio Oil and get moisturising after this little one hatches - he's coming out of the sun roof later this week and I've been asked to use hair removal cream beforehand (standard protocol - I'm not too bad with pubic topiary maintenance normally but can't see down there any more!!!).

SareBear87 · 15/08/2022 16:53

This is an amazing thread!

I'm currently 29 weeks (1st baby) and I think I need to mentally prepare and start giving the V some love and praise!

I knew it probably won't look the same post baby but I had no idea it would/could change quite that much! The things they don't tell you!! Not that it would change anything but I'm glad I've read this!

I guess so long as there's no health concerns and sex still feels good (not that I can imagine there'll be a lot of that post baby!) it doesn't actually matter what it looks like!

Perfect28 · 15/08/2022 17:13

Yes yabu, it gave birth to beautiful babies and brings pleasure, why should it also look amazing?

Bananalanacake · 15/08/2022 17:29

LilacSky, thanks, I've only had 2, wasn't thinking about surgery though as it doesn't hurt.

Original poster
NameChangeLifeChange · 15/08/2022 17:54

I fully agree mine is functional and has done a grand job so I’m nothing but grateful for it- just had a bit of a shock! I wouldn’t consider surgery etc as I don’t think there’s a problem and I can’t be bothered to got through surgery when hardly anyone sees my vulva.
Glad to hear there’s many of us out there with with wild fannys under our knickers!

OP posts:
Scraggythang · 15/08/2022 18:06

Mine seems to have faired pretty well considering, but it was no oil painting to begin with.

my bum hole on the other hand… dear god.

WaffleAndGelato · 15/08/2022 18:23

I had a look at mine recently, I swear to you if my undercarriage was ever for some reason used in a police identity parade they'd be looking for a black woman to be attached to it - all the rest of my skin is practically glow in the dark pale but my nethers have decided to go dark. I'm quite fascinated by it all tbh and DH likes it just the same as always.

LilacSky95 · 15/08/2022 18:38

@WaffleAndGelato mine went dark during pregnancy and never went back to normal- same with my nipples! My both are lighter than they were, but still much darker than before. I wonder why?

RhubarbFairy · 15/08/2022 18:40

10HailMarys · 15/08/2022 09:26

Totally normal and I assure you that your DH is absolutely happy with it. Despite what porn would have us believe, 99% of men absolutely do not care what your fanny looks like. They're just excited to be near one.

This thread is absolutely amazing and this response is gold star. I wish MN would put in reaction buttons.

This is a reassuring thread to read. I've had two C-sections but I've never thought it particularly pretty. It's not neat and tidy. DH doesn't seem to mind. In the same way that I have hang ups about parts of my body, he just sees a body he fancies like crazy.

VickyOT · 15/08/2022 18:46

So glad to have seen this post! A friend sent me the link, this is the same friend I went to confide in regarding my weird looking downstairs! After I was looking at it in the mirror about 5 times a day, I told her the only way I can describe it is that my vulva has a skin made Mohican! She then told me hers looks like a lizards tongue! So glad it’s not just me!

vaingina · 15/08/2022 18:46

I rather feel if we were expected to look at them regularly! they would be more conveniently situated!

BeanieTeen · 15/08/2022 18:47

I also just want to show my appreciation for the word ‘undercarriage’ 😄
I’m going to exclusively use it for that area from now on.

Borgonzola · 15/08/2022 18:54

I've always been very vulva-positive and knew exactly what I looked like down there. My DP described my pre-vaginal birth as 'very easy to understand' as all the bits, while not pretty, were quite large and obvious.

At 37 weeks pregnant I actually went to an emergency midwife clinic as I'd checked what I looked like for the first time and was so shocked. It looked like a massive pink hole. What has actually happened was that the weight of the baby was pressing down and forcing vaginal wall outwards, meaning you could see more than normal. The midwife took one look and said 'that's a perfectly normal vagina'. I felt about 15 and mortified that I'd wasted their time Blush

I'm now 3 weeks pp and think I'm going to wait a bit before I check. I only had a slight graze but something about the opening just feels... deep and weird... DP described my crowning vag as 'huge, like it had been pumped up with a bicycle pump' but also 'glorious' so I think I should be proud? ConfusedGrin

Borgonzola · 15/08/2022 18:55

My pre-vaginal birth? Pre-vaginal birth vulva, that should say

thesunwillout · 15/08/2022 19:06

Bananalanacake · 15/08/2022 14:49

Has anyone else lost their perineum? As in, the vagina keeps going until it reaches the wall of the anus.

Yes me, not that hard muscle thing anymore.
Keeps going further.

I'm thankful you mentioned this cos with all the other changes which do get mentioned I've not thought to ask specifically about this bit.

I had alot of damage a long time ago and mentally have struggled.

LindsayStauffer · 15/08/2022 19:37

People talking about how it used to be neat and tidy or tucked away and isn’t anymore etc...

the only reason you have a mental image of a vulva ideally being the above descriptors is thanks to porn, where the actors with the most infantile, young looking genitals get the most work. Smooth, hairless, invisible inner labia, puffed up outer labia, almost invisible clitoris, always pink. It’s the barbie vulva.

in real life very few women have this appearance, let alone after childbirth and ageing. It’s 100% normal and more common that a vulva has bits and pieces attached to it that are visible. Labia are varying sizes, some asymmetrical, clitorises range in size, skin colour is different for everyone, etc.

i’m by no means anti porn but it is a sad side effect that so many young and older women feel embarrassed at having a normal vulva because it isn’t ‘neat’. Have a look at a vulva gallery some time!

Floydthebarber · 15/08/2022 19:44

Blush I am so glad you wrote this. dds are 7 and 5 now and I don't think i've ever felt the need to have a good look down there since they were born. But for some reason a couple of months back I did and it was a bit of a shock! Everything is darker, looser, bigger. I'm not sure why I was surprised. But having seen porn in my late teens and 20s and hearing about surgeries for designer vaginas I was always smug that my vulva was just naturally pleasing to look at. Not any more! Grin

GotTheConch · 15/08/2022 19:54

Three vaginal deliveries here , the undercarriage is fairly war-torn but full credit to it, it has worked hard!

’Him indoors’ doesn’t venture down there much, to be honest, but when he does come into contact with it there are no complaints. Anyway, it’s a question of take it or leave it, really.

Floydthebarber · 15/08/2022 19:56

Oh, I also got a varicose vein on my labia while pregnant with dc1. That was delightful. Went away after birth though.

Fixyourself · 15/08/2022 20:29

Currently hugely pregnant…
Not only does it look it’s been through a wringer washer but it’s also blue in colour.
After the 2nd offspring falls out I’m not going to look at again!

VestaTilley · 15/08/2022 20:47

Don’t worry OP; I had an episiotomy and a forceps delivery. Mine now looks like a packet of wafer thin ham.

I’d get the potential prolapse looked at though.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/08/2022 20:48

I couldn't stop laughing when I was told 'You have such a pretty one (that's right, he was unable to use a word to describe it) - would you ever consider shaving it?'.

  1. No. Stubble.
  2. No. Waving sharp things around an area I haven't been able to see without a fucking periscope since I was 19 years old is not going to happen.
  3. No. I'm allergic to Veet, so don't even go there. Although if Veet goes anywhere near it, it'll swell up so much that no part of you will be able to go there.
  4. No. Waxing isn't happening. I a general tidy up one once when we were first dating and practically glowed in the dark for the rest of November. I do not want a vulva that fucking glows.
  5. No. If it's out, I don't want to lie around staring at the ceiling whilst you admire it, I want you to do doing something more useful than that.
Sally99 · 15/08/2022 20:54

Having seen pages of porn on the London Underground as a teenager I've always hated my vulva/labia so much that I had a labiaplasty. If women spoke more openly or I'd read a thread like this years ago, I'd never have wasted money on plastic surgery..

Crackercrazy · 15/08/2022 21:03

I had Vulvar varicosities in my 2nd pregnancy which absolutely horrified me. I now have a remaining ‘bulge’ as a memento- I try not to look down there if I can help it.

Tilda77 · 15/08/2022 21:09

Having had 2 vaginal births several years ago I haven't given mine much thought since.
I kind of go with if it all feels ok it must be ok. Makes me curious to go and look and see what DH sees! Depending on what I find he might get a life time ban😂