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Original poster

How broken are you?

329 replies

Quackpot · 13/01/2022 10:58

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

OP posts:

FranklySonImTheGaffer · 14/01/2022 09:30

On more than one occasion I've poured meat juices down the sink instead of the saucepan I've set ready so I can make gravy. Have also poured away stock I'd made from bones and veg, soup that I was meant to be putting into the blender...

When undergoing fertility treatment, I made breakfast (cereal) as usual. Came to make a cuppa later and couldn't find the milk. Asked DH who said he hadn't touched it. Checked in cupboards, bin and pulled things out of the fridge to check but it was gone.
DH found it a few days later inside the cereal box

At that stage I also drove to town and got the bus back and didn't realise until I needed my car again later that day, lifted my iPad to my ear like a phone because my phone next to me was ringing and almost lost ddog by changing direction on our walk but failing to signal that to him (and walking for a few minutes before I remembered I was out with him). Thank god he's a good dog who was pretty much where I left him, sat and scouring the distance!

I'm scatty at the best of times but when I'm hormonal it's bad. The fertility treatment was like my usual hormone induced confusion but 100 times worse. How exactly I got to work each day I have no idea.

OhGingleBells · 14/01/2022 09:39

Nice dinner on New Year’s Eve, made my dauphinoise potatoes, everything was ready with all the times worked out perfectly. Sat down with a gin feeling proud and when the timer went off realised that the potatoes had been in the oven for fifty minutes BUT THE OVEN WASN’T TURNED ON. I’d set it to the right temperature and everything and the other oven was merrily cooking the rest of the meal but the poor potatoes had been in a cold oven

megletthesecond · 14/01/2022 09:39

My car headlights weren't working after an outing last weekend. I was trying everything for 10 mins in a car park, my teens were out there looking and checking for me. Nothing. Stuck in a dark car park miles from home so called the AA.

After waiting for 15 mins and crying and stressing a bit I realised I'd missed a switch and my lights worked again .

My poor, poor teens.

ConcernedAuntie · 14/01/2022 10:24

First day back at work and I was a bit jet-lagged. Sat eating my breakfast and thought it was a bit gritty. I had sprinkled tea leaves over my cornflakes instead of sugar.

Campervan69 · 14/01/2022 12:28

Love this thread! Some classics.

My mum called me into the kitchen of a villa we had rented last year. To say the kettle wasn't working. It was the cordless type you put on a base.

She'd filled it up, put it on the worktop and clicked the switch.....

Chippydippy · 14/01/2022 12:50

If I'm reading a magazine or looking at 'proper' photos, I'll usually try to enlarge the script or photo with my fingers.

Thelikelylass · 14/01/2022 12:52

I used a sanitary towel in a blue wrapper to try and get through the tube gates and wondered why it wouldn't let me through (grabbed it from my bag and in fairness it was the same colour as my Oyster card).

Rno3gfr · 14/01/2022 12:55

I chucked my child’s socks in the bin and his empty wrapper in the wash basket.

Thelikelylass · 14/01/2022 12:59

Another - I was younger though.. we were on a night out lots to drink and went as a group to a restaurant. I was drunkenly tacking away and fixing my make up (a little muji pallet is filled) and the others were crying with laughter. I looked in the mirror and I'd put red lipstick under my ears instead of concealer, red lipstick in my chin to cover spots and concealer thickly in my lips. Cue circus theme.

Thelikelylass · 14/01/2022 13:00

That's should read 'yakking' and 'eyes' not ears!

hivemindneeded · 14/01/2022 13:02

Half an hour ago

DH: The cat needs more medicine. I will call the vet to order some but only after 11 o'clock as they have surgery until then.
Me: Good, yes. But have you called the vet to order the cat's medicine yet?
DH: OK. So...

hivemindneeded · 14/01/2022 13:04

@Thelikelylass

I love this. When I was a teen and smoked, I casually shook a packet of cigarettes to get some to stand out to offer to a boy I thought was cool. Only it was a packet of tampons and they fell all over the floor.

sparklefarts · 14/01/2022 13:04

Picked up new glasses yesterday. The man was getting me to try them on and see if they fit ok etc, three times , THREE, I tried to put them on over my current glasses that I was wearing

Shallwegoforawalk · 14/01/2022 13:10

@Iheartmysmart

I’ve just swapped my two seater car for a five door hatchback. So far I’ve closed the boot and got in the back four times. Have to then get out nonchalantly and get in the drivers seat.

If you were in an M&S car park at 6.30 last night, I may have seen you - or a lady with exactly the same issue. She was very nonchalant but I knew exactly what she'd done

Shallwegoforawalk · 14/01/2022 13:15

@TracyLeanne82

I took my cat to the vet once as I was convinced he had a tick on his tummy. It was his nipple.

Mu friend did something similar with her new puppy - her text to me afterwards said "boy dogs have nipples!!! Who knew??"

IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 14/01/2022 14:23

I poured boiling water into the steamer basket full of veg - only to realise that the base was not under it, so the boiling water poured out of the holes all over the counter, floor etc

bedheadedzombie · 14/01/2022 14:43

I once went to work intwo different shoes. One had laces and the other was a boot with a zipper. I only found out when I entered my office and wondered why I was walking a bit differently. I dared not leave my desk that day....

6Heartsforhumphrey · 14/01/2022 14:48

Travelling back on a transatlantic flight, clocked we were only flying at 10,000 feet. Knew for certain that there was something catastrophically wrong. Checked back so many times to see if we had climbed higher but nothing.

Suddenly dawned on me I was looking at the data in metres and not feet and we were actually cruising at 35,000 feet.

Massive relief to have averted a catastrophe that was actually never happening

iklboo · 14/01/2022 14:49

Made myself a cup of tea. Poured the water from the kettle into the teabag canister. I mean, I like my tea strong, but not 140 teabags strong.

Idkillforadoughnut · 14/01/2022 14:50

Called my husband on his mobile to tell him he'd left his mobile at home. Prob everyone has done that. Except then I realised my stupid mistake - and called him from his own mobile to tell him . Several times - and was really annoyed he was engaged every time!

Lolalasagna · 14/01/2022 15:20

On my way to work once, listening to music, and the DJ reminds us all that the clocks went forward last night, cue massive panic, I was an hour late for work. This was way before the days of smartphones, automatically adjusting clocks etc.

Arrive at work, apologising profusely, explain about the clocks changing and me not realising, boss looks really confused and says she doesn't know what I'm on about, and I was on time.

I'd been listening to a taped radio show from months ago.

Also once went on holiday to Spain and ate raw bacon for a week thinking it was some kind of specialist sort of parma ham type thing until my friend translated the back of the packet (including the instructions NOT to eat raw).

HotHointheavo · 14/01/2022 15:27

@BoodleBug51

I had a streaming cold and felt really poorly. I went for a wee, flushed, put my jeans up and then blew my nose. Went to throw the tissue down the toilet and threw my phone down it instead

I actually stood looking at it for about 10 seconds thinking what's that before screaming.............and yes it was ruined.

Did exactly this!!! The phone was less than 24 hours old!!!

Bag of rice and 24 hours later thankfully all was fine!

Roseinbloom20 · 14/01/2022 15:31

I've forgotten how to drive before, got the kids in the car and adjusted the seat and then just drawn a blank as to how to actually drive the car 🤦🏻‍♀️ I sat on my drive for a good few minutes trying to remember which foot I use and which pedal is the accelerator (I drive automatic but used to drive a manual) I eventually remembered and then I forgot what side of the road I should be on! I just hoped for the best until I reached a main road and it all clicked into place.....this isn't a one off either I've forgotten how to drive a few times 😳 I genuinely have trouble remembering my left and right so I put it down to that!

SummerHouse · 14/01/2022 15:33

Once climbing into the pool, a woman swam over and asked if I meant to still have my bra on. I had put my swimmers on under my clothes for ease but added a bra on top so as not to forget it. The woman was very kind and could have swam away but no. She was one of us.

iklboo · 14/01/2022 15:35

@Lolalasagna - the Spain thing reminds me of something my dad did on holiday.

He & mum had been up quite late enjoying a few refreshments (the local, lethal brandy). He woke in the early hours feeling quite ill so decided to take some Alka Seltzer. It was the time when drinking the water wasn't recommended and you had to buy bottles of water for in your room. Their water had run out.

So he popped the two 'plink, plink fizz' tablets straight into his mouth, which immediately started foaming, making him look like a rabid dog.

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