Page 13 | How broken are you?

Quackpot · 2022-01-13T10:58:20+00:00

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂 What the fuck? Why? Can you beat that 🤣

bubbleblower85 · 12/02/2022 01:45

Wanted to boil some food stuff put the pan on, waited until water had boiled until 5 minutes, went to take food out of the pan...only to find I forgot to put the food in the water!

anothersmahedmug · 12/02/2022 10:16

Carefully separating an egg white from yolk

Huge sigh of relief when the white was safely in the dish

Tipped the yolk on top of it

languagelover96 · 12/02/2022 12:29

At a pub dinner last week, I spilled Chardonnay on the counter. And I forgot to order a dessert.

Weedoogie · 13/02/2022 00:17

@ladydimitrescu

I once used toothpaste instead of haemorrhoid cream. It was not pleasant

Mmmm minty fresh...

😳

Dobbyatemysocks · 13/02/2022 18:03

I've just said to my DP
"Hang on a minute, I need to put my bra on to see properly"

Squiff70 · 13/02/2022 18:44

Made porridge for my daughter this morning. Just enough for a little one, in a little bowl. Microwaved it to warm it a bit, got it out of the microwave and caught the bowl on the door of the microwave. Porridge all over microwave door, cupboards, floor etc. Had to start from scratch whilst DP stood there shaking his head.

TonyThreePies · 14/02/2022 01:18

I've more than once driven to the park and gone to let ddog out of the boot only to realise I've left him at home

ifIwerenotanandroid · 14/02/2022 21:00

I once boiled some veg, strained them in a colander over the sink - & threw them straight into the bin.

MahMahMahMahCorona · 14/02/2022 21:01

Plate spinning with a 10week old, a ten year old school refuser and an 11yr old with Covid. Obviously thought I would just make tea in the kettle. 🤦🏼‍♀️

LMBoston · 14/02/2022 21:45

Back in the late 90s, I was seeing a DJ (relevant) when I got the most dreadful cold. I was laying in his bed snorting and wheezing, trying not to wake him, and I remembered seeing some Olbas oil in the bedside drawer.

So, without putting the light on, I fumbled about in the drawer and bingo, there’s the Olbas Oil. I flung it all over the pillow and bedding with gay abandon until OH GOD the fumes! The cat fled the room, the boyfriend woke up immediately with a wtf noise while I gibbered about Olbas Oil.

Turned out I’d covered the bed with his poppers. We and the cat had to sleep in the car. I wasn’t popular but in my defence I was ill and naive and it makes me laugh now I’m a sensible middle aged woman 😏

JenniferWooley · 14/02/2022 21:53

I once spent an hour hunting for my front door keys only to discover they were still in the lock on the outside, it's a stupid knob lock on the inside so don't need the keys to lock the door from the inside.

What makes this worse is that I got up in the middle of the night to check I'd locked the door... fat lot of good it would've done me had a murderer tried to get in!

booplefloof · 14/02/2022 22:21

Every day I do something like this randomly. Half the time, I am not even aware. My poor colleagues and family.

BlondeWidow · 14/02/2022 23:45

Came out of Subway, put drink on roof whilst opening car door, then promptly drove off with sandwich on passenger seat and large Fanta on roof

Babysharkdoodoodood · 15/02/2022 01:09

Took DS1 to school, only I ended up taking him to uni with me, luckily lecturers didn't mind as long as he was quiet. Sat colouring in with my highlighters.

4 years later did exactly the same thing with DS2 when I was doing my pgce. D'oh!

hilariousnamehere · 15/02/2022 03:41

Reminding myself to come and read when it's not silly o clock!

Squiff70 · 17/02/2022 12:06

The other day we bought a Kingsmill 50/50 loaf for DD to bump up her fibre a bit. DP is making her lunch now and called me into the kitchen. I dutifully went in to find him holding up the bag of bread and looking genuinely confused. He said "which half is white and which half is wholemeal? I don't get it!". I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself.

ABitOfAShitShow · 17/02/2022 14:08

@TonyThreePies

I've more than once driven to the park and gone to let ddog out of the boot only to realise I've left him at home

This one made me laugh!

Newnamefor2022 · 17/02/2022 17:38

Did an online Waitrose order and held the slot open with a bottle of really nice cognac, and a multipack of Diet Coke for the kids. Yup, you've guessed it, completely forgot about order and that's what was delivered by the bemused, but charming young delivery chap.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 18/02/2022 17:46

@whatisheupto

I quite distinctly remember being in the car with my 2 kids. It was generally quite noisy and I was straining to hear what one of them was trying to tell me. Reached for the volume button on the radio (which was off) to try and make them speak louder! Took me a good few seconds to realise why the volume button wasn't working!

My elderly aunt did this with the TV remote when she couldn't hear a guest: pointed the remote control at the person & pressed to turn up the volume.

3totheright4totheleft · 18/02/2022 18:59

Went to the cinema with my sister and her friend who had very red hair. Went to the loo halfway through, came back and sat in what I thought was my seat ie. on the end next to a red haired person. After about 5 mins I realised I had no idea who my companions were and that my sister and friend were several seats in front. I nonchalantly commando-crawled to the right seat as if nothing odd had happened.

autienotnaughty · 19/02/2022 06:46

Yes. Yesterday I accidentally left the key in the car. In the ignition, lights still on and radio playing. It was 6 hours before we realised. The battery is dead, I have no way to get to work today.

BakerMan · 19/02/2022 06:54

I'm always doing random stuff like this.

Most recent one was when I made some toast. I buttered the toast then but the knife in the fridge, threw the toast in the washing up bowl and the butter in the bin.
I sat down, realized what I'd done, and was just glad no one was there to witness it.

bumsnett · 19/02/2022 07:42

@LMBoston

Back in the late 90s, I was seeing a DJ (relevant) when I got the most dreadful cold. I was laying in his bed snorting and wheezing, trying not to wake him, and I remembered seeing some Olbas oil in the bedside drawer.

So, without putting the light on, I fumbled about in the drawer and bingo, there’s the Olbas Oil. I flung it all over the pillow and bedding with gay abandon until OH GOD the fumes! The cat fled the room, the boyfriend woke up immediately with a wtf noise while I gibbered about Olbas Oil.

Turned out I’d covered the bed with his poppers. We and the cat had to sleep in the car. I wasn’t popular but in my defence I was ill and naive and it makes me laugh now I’m a sensible middle aged woman 😏

Also werent poppers the most ridiculous thing?

LeniGray · 13/04/2022 20:11

I was once drunkenly getting ready for bed, and ended up putting Veet on my toothbrush. Many years later I can still remember the taste, and haven’t bought it since. Absolutely vile, would not recommend

passmethewine38 · 16/04/2022 21:32

@Paddingtonthebear

Pressed the remote control that closes the electric garage door, whilst standing right under it.

It’s very slow but very heavy 🤕

😂😂😂😂