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Original poster

How broken are you?

329 replies

Quackpot · 13/01/2022 10:58

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

OP posts:
MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 13/01/2022 23:29

I went to the supermarket after dropping my son at school.

I had walked to school and now had to face a long walk back with heavy shopping.

This felt 'wrong' but I couldn't fathom why.

Five minutes later I realised that I had left my two daughters in the school playground in the double buggy.

I then realised that I wasn't used to carrying heavy shopping because the bulk of the heavy stuff went under the buggy.

I returned to the school to find two bewildered little girls sat exactly where I'd left them.

kscience · 13/01/2022 23:30

This makes me feel so much more "normal".

Last night took pie out of the freezer, placed box into heated oven and pie onto stove top.

Been at it for years, now grown DS once was driven past his school and all the way to work with me. Didn't notice him until I had parked and heard a small voice asking if he was going to be at work with me all day.

TracyLeanne82 · 13/01/2022 23:33

I took my cat to the vet once as I was convinced he had a tick on his tummy. It was his nipple.

Pbbananabagel · 13/01/2022 23:35

5 months pregnant on a trip to Budapest, got a cab from the airport to our Airbnb and as I get car sick at the best of times I called shot gun and jumped in the passenger seat and waited for everyone else to get in.
They drive on the right in Budapest and I was in the drivers seat.
Didn’t actually take it in until he opened the door and asked me to move 😳

Iheartmysmart · 13/01/2022 23:38

If it helps when I first passed my test I drove into town then took the bus home. Completely forgot I had a car. Had to get another bus back to pick it up so 2x fares and a parking fine! Expensive lesson to learn.

TheFoundation · 13/01/2022 23:40

@Verbena87

Genuinely very nearly brushed my teeth with germaloids. As in, it was already on the brush and I stopped when it was under my nose because there was no minty toothpaste smell and that didn’t seem quite right. Bathroom cupboard subsequently reorganised!
I witnessed somebody do this with Deep Heat. She'll never make that mistake again.
Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 13/01/2022 23:40

I have a one cup coffee machine and every morning (half asleep) I put ground coffee in the top and fill a cup with water and pour that in and then I go up for a shower whilst it's brewing. Unfortunately sometimes I forget to put the cup underneath and come down to a work top dripping with coffee.

Shivvy1 · 13/01/2022 23:41

@Quackpot

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

I finished a meeting in work, lifted car keys off the table and went to get into my car, it wouldn't open using the bleep so I tried the keys, still wouldn't open. I then went back into the building and asked one of the girls to come and try, same thing wouldn't unlock. A nurse was pulling up and came over and asked me what was wrong, said I couldn't unlock my car, handed him the keys and he took one look at them and said unless your now driving a bmw these are no your keys 🙈😂. I hadn't even noticed

Another time I went to work with two odd shoes on, was wondering why someone in another meeting kept looking at me funny, wasn't until after lunch that I noticed lol.

I was pregnant at the time, so blame it on that 😂😂

Youvegotafriendinme · 13/01/2022 23:42

@Iheartmysmart this had my crying with laughter! Grin

Shivvy1 · 13/01/2022 23:42

@TracyLeanne82

I took my cat to the vet once as I was convinced he had a tick on his tummy. It was his nipple.
😂😂😂😂
Toasterandjam · 13/01/2022 23:44

Started making a cup of tea and the phone rang. Finished the phone call, swapped the milk and the phone. Sat down with my tea and then then heard a distant ringing. Took me a while to find the phone in the fridge! Thats why you shouldn't ring me before my morning cuppa.Smile

Irishfarmer · 13/01/2022 23:45

These are brilliant. I keep putting random things into the fridge right now

TinselTitsAndGlitteryBits · 13/01/2022 23:45

So many times now have I had a complete meltdown trying to find my phone, while holding it... once when I was on the phone to a big boss. I remember saying to her 'Oh sugar, I can't find my phone, hang on..' and this going on for about 2 minutes before she said 'Tinsel, look in your hand?' Grin

Poured orange juice in my coffee this morning instead of milk.

Was once attempting to make toast for DDs breakfast, put the butter in the microwave and the bread in the fridge? Confused

I am not a morning person in the slightest.

DustyMaiden · 13/01/2022 23:46

My DD sent me a mini photo book of her wedding. I put my fingers on the picture and tried to enlarge it.(As if it was a phone)

weegiemum · 13/01/2022 23:47

I suffer from lymphodema in my ankle since I broke it. I also have a condition which means I've no feeling in my lower legs and feet. I wear an elastic stocking.

Last night I clearly forgot to take it off, because I was getting out of the shower this morning when I realised I was still wearing it!

I wasn't going anywhere so I just kept it on and it was dry by lunchtime!

Mylifefeelslikeadream · 13/01/2022 23:47

I've found my peopleGrinGrinGrin

halloween88 · 13/01/2022 23:48

I had a man at my house doing some work.
Offered him a cup of tea which he accepted. Milk no sugar.
When I gave it to him and walked off, I could hear him coughing and wretching 30 seconds later. Went to see what all the fuss was about and he said it tasted 'perfumed'.
I then realised I'd poured in Fairy fabric conditioner into the tea instead of milk.

KurtWilde · 13/01/2022 23:48

I've lost count of the amount of times I've panicked thinking my glasses are lost and start frantically looking for them, whilst wearing them 😂

ASB123 · 13/01/2022 23:49

Went to open a tin of chopped tomatoes and it wasn't a pull ring. Went to look for the tin opener but for the life of me couldn't remember what it looked like and we had lots of stuff in the drawer so it was like where's Wally ut I didn't know what Wally looked like! I had to Google a tin opener

Sebastianthecoo · 13/01/2022 23:52

I had to go to four car garages today as I had no idea which one I’d booked by car into for an MOT.

sally2808 · 14/01/2022 00:07

When both children were small, had promised them a McDonalds. Bucketing down with rain but parked and we went into the restaurant. Was absolutely heaving and nowhere to sit so explained we’d get our happy meals and eat them in the car. One child holding each hand and a meal, we ran across the car park in the rain, I blipped the car, opened the nearest door saying just jump in and we’ll get sorted. Ran around to the drivers side, yanked open the door to find a guy sitting in the drivers seat, burger mid-bite looking bewildered at my children on his back seat.

My identical, unlocked car sat emptily next to his. 😂

Sn0tnose · 14/01/2022 00:07

I’m so glad I’m not the only one to do this sort of stuff.

My most recent one was holding my security pass over the lift button (standard lift button that needs pressing) and wondering why the doors weren’t opening, then telling the security guards on the reception desk that the lift was out of order. One of them took pity on me and very kindly pushed the button for me. And I then had to wait there, while it made the slowest descent in the history of lifts.

User310 · 14/01/2022 00:12

@halloween88

That made me laugh.

pictish · 14/01/2022 00:14

@halloween88

I had a man at my house doing some work. Offered him a cup of tea which he accepted. Milk no sugar. When I gave it to him and walked off, I could hear him coughing and wretching 30 seconds later. Went to see what all the fuss was about and he said it tasted 'perfumed'. I then realised I'd poured in Fairy fabric conditioner into the tea instead of milk.
I have genuinely laughed out loud at this. Poor man! ShockGrin
wejammin · 14/01/2022 00:20

The other day I made a lovely vegetable minestrone and when it was ready to serve, I put a colander in the sink and DRAINED my soup.

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