How broken are you?

[Quackpot]

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

When I had a 3yr old, 16mth old x a new born, one morning I placed cats bowl on the floor and threw an armful of dirty washing on it before opening a tin of Whiskas and spooning it in the washing machine!

These are all amazing but @ASB123 Googling a tin opener because you’ve forgotten what it looks like is my absolute favourite.

I do this stuff all the time but much like my inability to think of ‘an interesting fact’ about me, I can’t think of any examples. I can blame it on my ADHD but I honestly think it’s just tiredness most of the time.

@DustyMaiden

My DD sent me a mini photo book of her wedding. I put my fingers on the picture and tried to enlarge it.(As if it was a phone)

Done that before.

Swiped the page of a book expecting it to change like a Kindle. Or tapped on a word on a book, expecting it to show me the definition

Laughing so hard at all of these

During the menopause I once put my shoes away after taking them off. On coming downstairs in the morning to get the milk out i found my shoes neatly stored in the fridge, and too cold to put on.

@TracyLeanne82

I took my cat to the vet once as I was convinced he had a tick on his tummy. It was his nipple.

My dog had been to the vets and had some bloods taken etc. I was worried generally and noticed later that day he had a patch of fur missing. I rushed him back and asked to see a vet as an urgent appointment, concerned he was loosing his hair in chunks.
The vet nurse explained that was where they’d shaved him earlier to take the blood.

@TracyLeanne82

I took my cat to the vet once as I was convinced he had a tick on his tummy. It was his nipple.

(Name changed as lots of people who know me know this one)

I took my kids hamster to the vet as he had developed a massive growth pretty much overnight.

Turns out wee man had come of age and just has a really, really impressive set of balls!!

@wejammin

The other day I made a lovely vegetable minestrone and when it was ready to serve, I put a colander in the sink and DRAINED my soup.

This is my favourite so far I regularly fill the teapot with water and then realise I've forgotten to put any teabags in the pot. I also found my back door unlocked this morning, it's never left unlocked even during the day as I re-lock it every time I let the dogs in from having a pee but I routinely check it and remove the key before bed so the only explanation is that I actually unlocked it before taking the key out and toddling off to bed. The worst of it was I was actually feeling quite spooked last night, DH is away so I'm home alone, I'd watched something scary on tv and the dogs had randomly started barking at something not long before I went to bed so I would have thought I'd be extra careful, not leave it open for any old psycho to come in!

I like how many of these are desperate attempts to make coffee or tea. The brain knows it needs caffeine but it doesn't have the resources to actually get it.

As for me, I have house keys, a building swipe card and an office key, and I seem to just get a random one out as I approach a door about 10% of the time. I can and will tap my house keys on the access card reader.

Spent the morning gardening, took a few photos on my phone. Later, couldn’t find my phone and it was truly lost – small flat, not much stuff, we ransacked the place. DP does the “find my phone” thing on his laptop and it shows as more or less where we are, but can’t hear the noise. Unless…

Go out in the garden assuming I’d left it there. Nope, no noise. Until DP walks past a plant pot and there’s a faint beeping. There it was, carefully and lovingly buried under 8” of potting compost and miracle gro, nicely watered in.

Planting your phone and the minestrone soup are just priceless 😂😂
I do these things constantly, yesterday I put the kids dirty washing in the bin and their empty crisp packets into the washing machine

I’m crying with laughter! Thank you for making me feel like I am not a freak.

I was doing my hair for an event. I don’t usually wear hairspray.I didn’t understand why it wasn’t holding my hair place. I’d used half a (large) can before I realised it was deodorant.

Woke up a little late and bleary eyed. Went straight to the bathroom to get ready. Put my contact lenses in and the world was still blurry which I attributed to being tired and not a morning person. I brushed my teeth etc but my vision wasn’t improving. Eventually, I gave up and thought I would have to wear glasses so I took my contact lenses out. And then I realised I still had contacts in!

I had fallen asleep with them in and put another pair on top in the morning!

Made my morning catching up on all of these 😂 keep em coming 😃

Big panic a few weeks ago because my car wouldn't start...nothing wrong with it I'd just mixed up the clutch and the accelerator and basically forgotten the actions needed to start the car. Took me a few minutes to work it out. Been driving daily for 30 years, never happened before ever.

I also regularly think I've lost my phone....whilst looking at my phone.

I wonder if our brains just misfire sometimes.

I brushed my teeth with Veet.

I once smeared nail varnish remover over my face with a cotton wool ball. Took a few seconds for the sting to kick in, by which time had covered most of my face.

I downed a can of red bull i’d grabbed from the fridge right before a work meeting only to realise as I got to the end that it was actually a can of ready mixed gin and tonic…

To be fair it probably helped!

@DifficultBloodyWoman I’ve done that but added a third pair on top for good measure, then my glasses too. Thought I was having an aneurysm.

I’ve also kept stuffing tampons up my fanjo going “this one’s inserted uncomfortably, I’ll try again” without taking the first lot out. My record is three.

I also frequently try to scroll up when reading long documents - on pieces of paper..

@Maskless

Sometimes I take my reading glasses off, and put them on my desk.

And yet every few minutes I find myself sliding my finger along my nose to push them up it!

I do this ALL the time when I wear contact lenses. I'm convinced I can feel my glasses. I think it's like the missing limb syndrome thing (clearly I'm not good with words in the morning)

I literally thought I’d lost the plot Wednesday evening!! I filled electric kettle up and placed it on a gas hob I knew straight away I’d done it thou 😂 I’ve never had a Hob kettle either !
My brain is broken ☺️

When my children were young (many years ago) I used to walk them to first school. On a particularly cold day I took them in my car and promptly walked back. My DH had picked up the phone (no mobiles then) to ring the police to report a car theft when I realised in the 'nick' of time that my car was parked by the school!

On a client call at work the other day I had two points to update on. I started a sentence talking about one and finished the sentence talking about the other, without any pause or link or sign that I was changing topic. Everyone looked so confused. I had no choice but to make a joke out of it (I think I asked if anyone else had noticed that glitch in the matrix, apologised and clarified), but when I left the call I wanted to bang my head against the desk.

When I was pregnant, I took the tv remote to work, and cane gone to find my phone in the fridge.

I boiled the kettle, put a teabag in my cup then poured the boiling water into the tea caddy, which i had refilled. I like my tea strong, but still.....
I made dinner and plated some up for my son who would be home later. Then scraped his dinner into the bin, rather than the leftovers when I was washing up.
Sometimes I wonder how I can be classed as a fully functioning adult.