How broken are you?

[Quackpot]

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

@wejammin

The other day I made a lovely vegetable minestrone and when it was ready to serve, I put a colander in the sink and DRAINED my soup.

I once drained 3lb of bramble jelly through a muslin, over the worktop. I’d evidently taken it well past setting point because it set hard instantly over a wide area of the tiled floor.

Made stock for 3 hours, was so happy at my adulting and then poured all down the sink when k went to strain the bits out, didn't have anything under it. Soul destroying

After a lengthy session reading MN I tried to put a bookmark in my phone to "save my place."

Also on a similar vein I tried to plug a phone charger into the bottom of my book....

I took what I thought was my normal medication in the morning. It wasn't until I was at work that I noticed a weird metalic taste in my mouth...I'd taken a sleeping tablet by mistake! I consumed a lot of coffee that morning. Thankfully it was a low dose one and I dont drive or operate heavy machinery!

I also bump into things a lot...the same things...sometimes repeatedly.

I once addressed my cat by my DP's name one morning (don't live with him). I texted him to say that I might have made my coffee with vodka.

The other day I was boiling rice, went and got the sieve, picked up the saucepan of rice and just poured it into the sieve when standing at the hob, instead of over the sink! Luckily I copped on very quickly and didn’t scald myself!

Took the train into London just for some clothes shopping.

Left my shopping on over head rack above my seat.

Wasn't til i'f friven home i remembered.....

*driven

I once licked my DD good night rather than kissed. I was severely sleep deprived with a newborn at the time in my defence but.. yeah.

Want to add that it was on the forehead!

@wildthingsinthenight

After a lengthy session reading MN I tried to put a bookmark in my phone to "save my place." Also on a similar vein I tried to plug a phone charger into the bottom of my book....

p.s I like to think someone treated themselves to the shopping rather than them being seized at Liverpool Street by the bomb squad.

Unless the bomb squad are rockin my new tops.

@wildthingsinthenight - I've tapped a page of a book to turn it over.

So many of these things happen to me!

I remember when I was young, I'd learnt how to drive whilst at college and was still living at home. I drove my mum's car to college, and parked at the NCP, forgot I drove and walked home.
I got home my mum asks "where's the car?" I realize I left it in the car park, so walked back again, only for me to realise I'd gone and left the keys to the car in the house!
The car park was closing.
It was a long time ago.
I can't blame old age on that.

Many more but that one has stuck with me.

I once made my dh drive about 20 mins to me (we live v.rurally) to give my car a jump start, I'd actually forgotten to put the clutch in, it's not like I've been driving 15 years or anything

I love this thread I think I've found my people because I do stuff like that all the time. Just this week I went to throw the remote onto the sofa but threw my cut of tea on the sofa instead

I've told this one before but it still makes me giggle.

Was rushing about to leave the house and went for a last minute wee.

Tried to say to DH "I'll just have a wee and I'll be with you"

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo"

I could hear myself saying it, and my internal monologue was yelling at me to shut up but the sounds were on the way out and there was no stopping them.

just remembered the time DH and I went on holiday, got the time difference wrong, and lived life an hour ahead for the first few days. we were up and about in the mornings commenting how dark and quiet it was and how it was weird no-one else was up yet...it was only when we looked at a clock in reception a few days later we realised

I once made myself a coffee by putting a spoon of instant coffee into my mug and then pouring boiling water into the half full coffee canister.

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo"
This one has ended me. I’m weeping and faintly breathless, flapping my hands and trying to tell DP, who I know will do the face at me

After 8 years of living somewhere with LH drive cars, yesterday I walked around to the passenger side to get in and drive off. Muscle memory is strong

I spent 10 minutes looking for my keys yesterday evening. I found them in the fridge.

Made a coffee this morning.

Put coffee into a cup, poured in a splash of boiling water and topped up my "coffee" with milk.

It was not nice. I stared at my stone cold drink wondering what I'd done.

This was a while ago, but one day I got home from the shops, and then stood at my front door, wondering why it wouldn't open. Took me about 20 secs to accept that the key fob to my CAR won't unlock my door, no matter how aggressively I point it at the front door and press the button.

@Andtheyalllookjustthesame

My normal go to move is to tip my morning drink straight down my front instead of into my mouth, though. I had to give up coffee first thing as I kept scalding myself. Years ago when I was a smoker I accidentally put my morning cigarette into my mouth the wrong way round and burnt my mouth. I am not a morning person, evidently.

I’ve done it too.