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Original poster

How broken are you?

329 replies

Quackpot · 13/01/2022 10:58

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

OP posts:
Nemorth · 16/01/2022 13:15

@stuntbubbles

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo" This one has ended me. I’m weeping and faintly breathless, flapping my hands and trying to tell DP, who I know will do the Hmm face at me Grin
Me too. Me too. My eyes are actually leaking I'm laughing so hard.
Houseofvelour · 16/01/2022 13:21

I was holding some rubbish in my hand and asked my DH how I delete it Hmm

Karatema · 16/01/2022 14:28

@kscience

This makes me feel so much more "normal".

Last night took pie out of the freezer, placed box into heated oven and pie onto stove top.

Been at it for years, now grown DS once was driven past his school and all the way to work with me. Didn't notice him until I had parked and heard a small voice asking if he was going to be at work with me all day.

I did this once! Picked DS up from Nursery to take him to childminder. Had been chatting to him for a good 20 minutes when I realised I shouldn't still be chatting to him! Turned round and delivered him, late, to a bemused childminder and then had to explain to my boss why I was late back from lunch! Blush
Original poster
Quackpot · 16/01/2022 22:34

So pleased I started this, can't stop laughing 🤣

OP posts:
MoFro · 16/01/2022 22:47

Was going to meet a friend, quick mirror check on way out and my blouse looked really creased and unironed at the top.
So I ironed it - whilst wearing it 😳

With a great big steam iron and of course I pressed the additional steam button too - right on my chest!

WTF! Hurt like hell, had scars for a while and was late for lunch

MoFro · 16/01/2022 22:49

Bought a new hairdryer when out doing the big supermarket shop, but could not find it anywhere.

Checked receipt to make sure id deffo bought it, checked the car.

Found it next day in the fridge next to the cheese!

Impatientwino · 16/01/2022 22:53

Not me but my aunt. She had a problem with her sink and the pipe work had to be disconnected and changed. She had a washing up bowl underneath in the cupboard catching all the water and after everything disconnected she took the now half full bowl out of the cupboard and promptly poured it down the sink Smile

Very cross with herself but finding it a bit funny she moped up all the water from the cupboard and the floor and poured it down the sink again Grin

She is an extremely capable, intelligent woman and we've never let her live it down Grin

Bloodybridget · 16/01/2022 23:01

Stabbing a finger at my laptop screen, cursing it for not responding.

ImprobablePuffin · 17/01/2022 00:13

Eurgh I can add to this...again.
I have 5 rescue hens. Today I went to feed them and get the eggs.

Went back to the kitchen, carefully placed the feed bucket on the counter and promptly launched the eggs out of the back door onto the patio. Smashed egg everywhere.

I'm such an idiot.

Original poster
Quackpot · 17/01/2022 00:30

@ImprobablePuffin

Eurgh I can add to this...again. I have 5 rescue hens. Today I went to feed them and get the eggs.

Went back to the kitchen, carefully placed the feed bucket on the counter and promptly launched the eggs out of the back door onto the patio. Smashed egg everywhere.

I'm such an idiot.

😂😂😂
OP posts:
Cheerfulcharlie · 17/01/2022 00:56

I put my coat on & drive to work feeling like my coat felt a bit looser than normal and felt quite elated that my new diet had more of an effect than I’d realised. Who knew 3lb weight loss would make your coat feel SO much looser?!
Then I got out of the car and realised it was almost down to the floor - I had only put my boyfriend’s coat on!

CorsicaDreaming · 17/01/2022 07:12

@stuntbubbles

Spent the morning gardening, took a few photos on my phone. Later, couldn’t find my phone and it was truly lost – small flat, not much stuff, we ransacked the place. DP does the “find my phone” thing on his laptop and it shows as more or less where we are, but can’t hear the noise. Unless…

Go out in the garden assuming I’d left it there. Nope, no noise. Until DP walks past a plant pot and there’s a faint beeping. There it was, carefully and lovingly buried under 8” of potting compost and miracle gro, nicely watered in.

@stuntbubbles - love that you planted your phone! 😄
MrsClatterbuck · 17/01/2022 07:26

I was at work working on one of the computers (a general one for the office and was in the early days of work computers) when I turned around and the assistant manager was on the floor) I looked at him and thought to myself something isn't right hereConfused . Fortunately another person realised he had fainted and that got me going as well. He had the flu if I remember correctly. I also believe I was the First Aid personBlush

echt · 17/01/2022 09:33

Spent the morning gardening, took a few photos on my phone. Later, couldn’t find my phone and it was truly lost – small flat, not much stuff, we ransacked the place. DP does the “find my phone” thing on his laptop and it shows as more or less where we are, but can’t hear the noise. Unless… Go out in the garden assuming I’d left it there. Nope, no noise. Until DP walks past a plant pot and there’s a faint beeping. There it was, carefully and lovingly buried under 8” of potting compost and miracle gro, nicely watered in

You do know if you'd left it, it would have grown into a G5 telecom mast, don't you? :o

echt · 17/01/2022 09:34

@Impatientwino

Not me but my aunt. She had a problem with her sink and the pipe work had to be disconnected and changed. She had a washing up bowl underneath in the cupboard catching all the water and after everything disconnected she took the now half full bowl out of the cupboard and promptly poured it down the sink Smile

Very cross with herself but finding it a bit funny she moped up all the water from the cupboard and the floor and poured it down the sink again Grin

She is an extremely capable, intelligent woman and we've never let her live it down Grin

Excellent!

This is a top thread.

PhoboPhobia · 17/01/2022 09:45

I made pizza dough last week. Left it to prove and came back an hour later to find it hadn't risen at all.

Put it down to duff yeast and ploughed on.

When DH was clearing up after dinner he asked me why there was an unopened packet of yeast in the bin?!

I also frequently forget I have put something in the top oven to keep it warm - usually plates and get new ones out. Serve dinner on cold plates and then wonder why we are short of plates a few days later.

Bicnod · 17/01/2022 10:00

@wejammin

The other day I made a lovely vegetable minestrone and when it was ready to serve, I put a colander in the sink and DRAINED my soup.
😂 this just made me spit out my tea
Bicnod · 17/01/2022 10:24

I do stuff like this all the time.

I made a cup of tea yesterday and threw the teabag onto the floor in front of the bin instead of in the bin and just stood staring at it.

I frequently walk into our garage to get something and stand there work literally no clue what I need. I then walk out, remember, walk back in and instantly forget.

I am always losing my thread halfway through a conversation...

In fact, I was having a conversation about this with my lovely friend the other day and was giving an example when halfway through whatever I was saying I completely lost my thread and had no idea what I was talking about 😳 case proven 😂

KurtWilde · 17/01/2022 11:42

I toasted a load of old veg yesterday with the intention of making soup. Turned the oven off when it was done and got completely sidetracked. It's now 11.41am and I've just remembered it's still in the oven 'cooling' 😂

KurtWilde · 17/01/2022 11:42

*roasted

PrisonerofZeroCovid · 17/01/2022 11:50

Spent three hours making chicken stock from scratch. Went to strain it but did it in a colander like for pasta, so all the stock went down the plughole and I was left with a colander of bones, skin and soggy vegetables.

stuntbubbles · 18/01/2022 18:46

Thought of you all today as I picked up the bread board covered in DD’s sandwich crusts, walked over to the food waste bin, and then just… threw them all on the floor?!

CrazyBaubles · 18/01/2022 21:58

Oh dear, I have another example from today.
We have a shower with 2 heads - push the lever up for the overhead one and down for the little (powerful) handheld one.

I, fully clothed, put one foot in the shower to switch it on to warm up while I got undressed.
Pushed lever down and got splashed in the face by the hand held shower head.
That's annoying - but I then stepped out of the shower so the water shot straight out and start landing on the bathroom floor while I just stood and watched for a while trying to work out what was wrong Confused
Took me around a minute to think to close the doors, by which time my clothes, the bath mat and floor are all drenched Blush AND I had to open the bloody door again to get in and push the lever up!

Dobbyatemysocks · 18/01/2022 22:09

Just finished on the phone with DD whilst on the laptop.
Spent 5 mins trying to put handset back on the base to charge, couldn't work out what was wrong.
Went and asked DP, taking the phone and base unit.
DP took one look at the offending items, looked up at me and said "your trying to charge the cordless phone in the cordless mouse!"

God job he ducked Grin

I hate cordless technology!!!

MollyBloomYes · 18/01/2022 22:46

Thought of another one. Walked back from my university campus after handing my essays in after yet another all nighter (this one was a particularly grim one of 5 essays in one night because I NEVER SAW THE ERROR OF MY WAYS)
Got to my house and the key wouldn't go into the lock. Stood there dumbfounded, thought maybe I was using my parents' house key. Checked and double checked. Nope, definitely my 'uni' key. Tried again, key definitely wasn't fitting. Stood there staring at the door too exhausted to move or even think what I should do next.
Fortunately my friend saw me and, recognising my glazed post essay stare and realising I was stood outside the house I'd moved out of the semester before, gently steered me to the correct house which was two streets parallel to the one I was trying to break into. Even turned the key for me and guided me into bed bless her.
I opted to do an extra exam based module rather than a dissertation module in my final year. I knew my limits.