How broken are you?

[Quackpot]

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

I listen to a lot of podcasts while driving. Several times now I've caught myself getting more and more irritated going through the settings on my car entertainment system trying to find the subtitles

Saw we'd run out of milk. Walked to the corner shop, bought some, walked back straight through the house and put the milk into the recycling box outside. Then went inside to make a brew and noticed we had no milk and went back to the shop. It was only when the guy in the shop commented that I realised what I'd done:

I was watching TV and thought I saw someone I recognised walking past my house and used the sky remote to try and rewind them.

I managed to throw my shed key into my rubbish bin along with a bag of rubbish. I was holding the key in the other hand. The key ended up at the bottom of the smelly bin. I had to use dettol to clean it once I'd fished it out.

Sat on the passenger seat several times before realising that I don’t have the chauffeur.

Went to feed the dog and make cup of tea, put a teabag in dog’s bowl. Only the dog looking at me with WTF in his eyes stopped me from pouring the water.

Tried to put just boiled kettle into the fridge.
Fridge is my favourite storage, several times I put away scissors,knife,matches then raged when I couldn’t find the missing items.

Drained stock into the sink and stared into colander full of chicken bones.

Forgot to collect younger DS from school only when older DS asked where is he I panicked and turned round. They go to the same school (very small setting)

@Dillydollydingdong

Getting ready to brush my teeth, I caught myself trying to put toothpaste on my hairbrush.

I put nappy rash cream on my toothbrush once. Thought it looked strange, luckily didn't make it into my mouth. Booked a non refundable plane ticket for the wrong day. Have gone looking for my missing glasses round the house only to realise after walking all round the house that the I could see meant I was wearing them. Turned on the cold tap instead of the hot in the shower, had a momentary panic the hot water system wasn't working only to realise I'd tuned on the wrong tap.

You need sleep.

Tried to put just boiled kettle into the fridge. Fridge is my favourite storage, several times I put away scissors,knife,matches then raged when I couldn’t find the missing items.

Hahah this is also me

I drive my own car normally, but several times when DH has given me a lift I go to get in the drivers side.. where he is already sitting. He asks me if I want to drive sitting on his lap? Interesting 😂

I spent a good 10 mins once trying to fish the tea bag out of what turned out to be a cup of coffee. and yes I made it.

Fridge is my favourite storage
Same here 😂 I've put kettle in there, and once the post

We were driving up to centerparcs for the weekend and after a long drive decided to stop at Kentucky drive through to feed the kids. Deep snowy midwinter. As we drove up there was the most almighty crash. We had forgotten all the bikes were on a new roof rack and they had hit an entrance height barrier. All smashed to the ground behind us. So lucky no-one was around especially behind us. Spent the next 10 mins trying to resolve the issue. No-one in Kentucky noticed a thing.

Put the electric kettle on a lit gas hob

I’m autistic so like things to remain the same. If I find shoes I like I buy three pairs. I wear two designs but basically flat and black. I have lost count of the times I have left the house with odd shoes on!

@Benjaminsniddlegrass

Answered the door, whilst winding my DD and chatted to the Amazon delivery guy for a couple of minutes, took parcel back in, sat down - realised my left boob had been out the whole time (and they are not small!)

Brilliant!!

Just back from maternity leave, went on a client meeting with the big boss stopped to cross the road at a zebra crossing and grabbed his hand and pulled him over the road, his face was a picture

Got an Indian takeaway with DP, comes in thin plastic boxes. Packed away the leftovers in the boxes. My turn to cook the next night and I didn’t fancy slaving over a supervised microwave so instead I heated the oven to 200C, put the plastic boxes inside directly on the oven shelves, set a timer for 30 minutes and went away for a sit down. Came back to a ruined oven complete with charred naan to dip in melted plastic.

@LadyFlumpalot

I've told this one before but it still makes me giggle.

Was rushing about to leave the house and went for a last minute wee.

Tried to say to DH "I'll just have a wee and I'll be with you"

What came out of my mouth however was "Ah wee wee. Ah woo woo"

I could hear myself saying it, and my internal monologue was yelling at me to shut up but the sounds were on the way out and there was no stopping them.

😂😂😂

I am only 6 posts in, and find I've rushed to my son's room and shouted" it's not just me!!"

A couple of weeks ago I was so tired that when I went to do a lft (testing daily as DP had Covid), I got everything ready and put the swab straight in the liquid without sticking it up my nose at all. I then stood there for about 30 seconds wondering if I could stick the swab up my nose anyway, before commonsense kicked in and I got another one out.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham - forgive me for asking an obvious question but what is "cat milk"? I have a very vivid imaging of helping a cat express her milk for some reason, but...

At work I thought the computer had gone wrong as every time I tapped some numbers on the keyboard...they didn't appear on the screen. Couldn't work out why!

It took a few minutes before I realised I was tapping the numbers into the calculator that was on my desk next to the computer 🤦🏼‍♀️

I once pressed the 'unlock' ok my car key Rob to open my door

@Newpuppymummy

I keep trying to open my front door by clicking the car keys 😩

Just posted this 😂 glad I'm not the only one

I quite often make meat stock from bones and I am embarrassed to admit how many times I've put the colander straight into the sink and tipped the pan of hot stock into it, then stood and watched as it's gone straight down the plughole, leaving me with a steaming pile of boiled bones.

I keep forgetting that it's the reverse of straining pasta or potatoes and it's the liquid I need to keep, not the solids.

Oh and the other one I do all the time:

I live split between two countries with a car in each. One is a LHD and one is a RHD. It doesn't matter which country I am in, I always try to get in the wrong side of the car. Then I have to nonchalantly put my handbag on the passenger seat as if I intended to do that all along, and saunter round to the driver's side.