How broken are you?

[Quackpot]

I've just boiled the kettle, washed my cup, set it down on the table, popped the teabag on the worktop and poured water all over it. Only realised when I tried to stir it 😂

What the fuck?

Why?

Can you beat that 🤣

@ImprobablePuffin

Eurgh I can add to this...again. I have 5 rescue hens. Today I went to feed them and get the eggs.

Went back to the kitchen, carefully placed the feed bucket on the counter and promptly launched the eggs out of the back door onto the patio. Smashed egg everywhere.

I'm such an idiot.

Omg, Idid something similar!Went to the henhouse (shed size) to get the eggs and realised that girls need the top up of grain so promptly chucked the eggs to the ground and went to the bucket to get it. I was a bit surprised to turn round and see the eggs smashed on the ground

@FrenchBoule at least I'm not alone in egg based shenanigans.

What got me was how tenderly I put the feed bucket on the kitchen counter

Afternoon, everyone. We've had a few nominations to put this in Classics so we'll shift it there now.

Brilliant- also bump anyone that needs to be cheered a bit.

Took my daughter to Brighton yesterday parked in mulitstory car park. Got back paid for the parking but couldn't find my car keys, tipped handbag out getting more and more panicky, the car was on the ground floor so I quickly went back to it to see if the keys were nearby, realized car wasn't locked and when I opened it the keys were merrily in the cup holder! How the car wasn't stolen I don't know! I've never done anything like that in my life before !

@HebeMumsnet

Afternoon, everyone. We've had a few nominations to put this in Classics so we'll shift it there now.

Oh wow 😍

I'd just like to say I'm in hospital waiting to be discharged following a surgery I was really nervous about, and reading this entire thread before and after has made me literally snort in laughter multiple times! You're all fab. Thank you. I'm too fuzzy headed to think of anything to add though I'm afraid!

Oh I have thought of one thing - I have coeliac disease do have to follow a really strict gluten free diet for the rest of my life. I regularly have dreams about eating gluten then wake up totally panicked. I mentioned this to a friend who also has coeliac, in a "ha ha aren't I odd" way but genuinely expected validation in terms of them saying they'd had it too. Nope. Got a proper face back!! (It's often doughnuts in the dream)

Tried to pay for my food in the work restaurant with my work ID instead of my bank card. Literally tried to tap the contactless machine three times before I realised why the the lady was giving a weird look.

@FindingMeno

I frequently suddenly realise I'm about to break an egg into the bin, rather than crack it into a pan and put the shell in the bin.

I once opened the drawer to take out a knife to crack an egg then without thinking cracked the egg directly into the drawer where we keep all the cutlery. That was a lot of clearing up. In the same week I reheated leftovers in the microwave. Took the hot plate of food out and put it on the worktop on front of the microwave then inexplicably pressed the button to open the microwave which made the door open and pushed the entire plate of food onto the floor. That was also a lot of clearing up.

Moved back home after uni - my DM had given the room a spruce up for my arrival and some Pledge had been left on the dressing table. The Elnett hairspray I used at the time ended up next to it as I unpacked and you can guess what I grabbed later to spray my hair before meeting up with friends. Smelled like a sideboard all evening

Just this evening.. I made my cup of tea. Went to the fridge for the milk, saw the packet of KitKats, took one, closed the fridge door. Went back to me tea.. oh yes, I needed the milk! Went back into the fridge. Saw that I'd taken the last KitKat and put the empty packet back in the fridge. Binned the packet. Went back to my tea and KitKat.. oh yes, MILK!! that's what I went in the fridge for 😂

I quite distinctly remember being in the car with my 2 kids. It was generally quite noisy and I was straining to hear what one of them was trying to tell me. Reached for the volume button on the radio (which was off) to try and make them speak louder! Took me a good few seconds to realise why the volume button wasn't working!

Drove to nursery to pick the kids up three or four days after DC2 had just started. Got out of the car, collected the kids, had a good handover chat with the staff, walked back to the car. Opened the door for DC1 so he could climb in and stay safe while I put DC2 into her car seat. Walked around to the other side of the car still carrying DC2, opened the door.

I'd forgotten her car seat. I'd walked them to nursery in the double pram so her infant carrier car seat hadn't been used and was still in the house.

DH poured me a drink on Saturday and handed it to me. Instead of putting it on the coaster I tipped the entire glass upside down emptying the contents onto the coffee table. I have absolutely no knowledge why - it was lemonade & I wasn't distracted or not paying attention. Like my hand suddenly had a mind of its own like Dr Strangelove.

On more than one occasion I've boiled up the chicken carcass to make stock only to strain it down the sink.

I've tried to use my work security pass on the gates on the Tube and once, when really tired at the end of a looong week, tried to use it to open my front door by jabbing it at the letterbox. It was a sign I desperately needed a large glass of

When DD was tiny we ended up sterilising baby bottles with Milton tablets in cold water (never got round to buying a steriliser). After several weeks had passed I was under the sink looking for something and found the box of Milton tablets. DH had tidied them away one evening and I’d just carried on putting bottles in cold water overnight with no Milton tablet without realising for weeks. We stopped sterilising after that because it seemed pretty pointless to go back to it!

I also tried to put the orange juice in the dishwasher once and got really frustrated that it wouldn’t sit flat because of all the spiky bits.

Well I’ve just been to put the bins out (involves traipsing over the muddy lawn) and then on to the corner shop…only to realise on getting back that I’d kept my slippers on the whole time. I’m slightly concerned about this one. 😅

I had laser eye surgery 2 years ago after 30 years of wearing glasses. I still reach for my glasses in the morning and often try to push them up after a year 🙈

I followed a YouTube tutorial to make bubble mix at home. It recommended making it in a measuring jug so it would be easier later to pour it into a bottle. I had a bit left over so left it in the measuring jug until I could find another bottle. Later that evening, I was making dinner and I realised instead of pouring the stock into the pan, I'd used the left over bubble mixture instead. We had a takeaway that night

I was multitasking but not very well as I burn't the bottom of my only pan with porridge. I also melted the plastic on a spoon in the pan.

I then ordered a new pan set for next day delivery. In my haste I ended up with one medium sized one and two others large enough to cook stew for an army.

This morning I forgot I had the new pans and cooked my porridge in a frying pan (did the trick). I didn't burn it and used milk not oil so perhaps things are improving

I've taken the cat to the vets without actually taking her. I was half way there when I wondered why she was being so quiet and not miaowing her head off like usual when in the car. Looked into the back seat and no cat carrier... she had a face like thunder when I got home and retrieved her from the front step where I'd left her. She hissed at me when I eventually opened the carrier and poured her out onto the vets table.

Filled my car with petrol... my diesel car that is. Conversation with AA rescue man went like this...
AA man: Have you been driving a petrol car and forgot this one was diesel?
Me: Nope. Never had a petrol car. I'm a bit embarrassed.
AA man: Don't worry, it happens. I bet it is a new car?
Me: Nope, we've had it 8 years.
AA man: Does your partner usually drive it and fill it up?
Me: Nope, only me.
AA man:
Me:

It seems I am not alone in having poured an entire stock pot of delicious chicken broth down the sink and been left with only the bones.