Just checking what I can actually do in my garden

[Originalyellowbelly]

Obviously not BBQ, fire pit, children, tree houses, pools, climbing frames, footballs, bonfires, low fences, music, parties,DIY , lawn mowing, extensions, cats, dogs, have I missed anything? Wouldn't want to piss off anyone within 50 miles of me.

No basketball, people in the next town over will hear the ball bouncing!

And for god's sake, don't pave or astroturf it for sake of the environment!!!1!!!!11!

Don’t grow treeS. But also don’t cut down trees.
Don’t get fake grass. But also don’t mow your lawn. But also don’t let your lawn look unkempt.

You mustn't have outdoor sofas. It's very common. I learned this on a thread last summer.

And put glass on your garden wall so no one else can have any joy in the vicinity of your property either (recently learned on a MN thread that some folk think this is needed )

Care for your fence, but don't paint it or replace it.
Keep the hedge trim, but don't lean over the boundary in the middle of the hedge.

I'm not sure it's been mentioned here, perhaps because it's so obvious.

You must never ever start a conversation with your neighbour.

Ever.

You must not have company of any sort, and no pets.

Surely common sense determines most of it?

You teach the kids to play without screaming and shrieking. Lots of garden toys like sandpits, tuff trays with themes, kid size tents, mud kitchen, paddling pool. Supervise them or do some gardening to keep a discreet eye on them. Teach them it’s rude to stare into neighbours gardens or start talking to someone next door eg ‘hello Ann!’ the minute poor Ann goes to water her flowers. Tree houses are out unless you have a big garden; building one that overlooks your neighbours garden is antisocial!

You don’t let the dog yap for an hour. Bring it in when it howls.

Lawnmowers and power tools are more like white noise, as long as you don’t use them non stop nobody will complain.

Don’t turn the compost heap when neighbours are sitting out having dinner or have guests!

Fire pits and bbqs; normal and expected on warm summer evenings, no?

Quiet music, unless you crank up the volume to rave levels who cares?

All in moderation 😂

You can't feed the birds incase they shit on ndn cars..
Or keep an outdoor dcat. May kill the baby birds..

Do not start your car between the hours of 7pm and 8am.

It's no wonder none of my neighbours speak to me.

@HushingDusk

Surely common sense determines most of it?

You teach the kids to play without screaming and shrieking. Lots of garden toys like sandpits, tuff trays with themes, kid size tents, mud kitchen, paddling pool. Supervise them or do some gardening to keep a discreet eye on them. Teach them it’s rude to stare into neighbours gardens or start talking to someone next door eg ‘hello Ann!’ the minute poor Ann goes to water her flowers. Tree houses are out unless you have a big garden; building one that overlooks your neighbours garden is antisocial!

You don’t let the dog yap for an hour. Bring it in when it howls.

Lawnmowers and power tools are more like white noise, as long as you don’t use them non stop nobody will complain.

Don’t turn the compost heap when neighbours are sitting out having dinner or have guests!

Fire pits and bbqs; normal and expected on warm summer evenings, no?

Quiet music, unless you crank up the volume to rave levels who cares?

All in moderation 😂

Are you new? You would think all this was self explanatory wouldn’t you? NOT on MN.

My neighbour offered to swap some of his white peonies for some of my pink peonies yesterday. Outrageous!

@Cattitudes that made me spit my drink out 🤣🤣🤣

You know when you’ve been reading mumsnet for too long when you recognise all these threads.
😂

@5128gap

You mustn't have outdoor sofas. It's very common. I learned this on a thread last summer.

I believe decking is also common.

Don’t forget basketballs and basketball hoops - work of the devil.

You mustn’t keep bees if you have neighbours within a few miles in case someone is allergic.

@FizzyPink

I used to go for a nap at lunchtime in the winter until I saw on here someone asking why their neighbours closed their curtains for an hour in the middle of the day

Your neighbours probably think you’re not napping......

fart

no bottom burps AT ALL

Don’t let your cat out, it might sit on your fence and torment your neighbours dog from up high, and then they will feel the need to start a thread on MN to ask if you Are unreasonable.
Yeh and all the normal stuff like, only lawn moving between 11 -11.30 am on a Tuesday, no looking at others, and Christ dont try to speak to anyone.

I've got no decking, slabs all the way for me.

Surely common sense determines most of it?

I've reported this comment for deletion as it is against the 'spirit of the site'.

Dont put pots of annual plants on patio.
Like geraniums and pansies and stuff.
Lowers the tone.