Just checking what I can actually do in my garden

[Originalyellowbelly]

Obviously not BBQ, fire pit, children, tree houses, pools, climbing frames, footballs, bonfires, low fences, music, parties,DIY , lawn mowing, extensions, cats, dogs, have I missed anything? Wouldn't want to piss off anyone within 50 miles of me.

Store all your old broken white goods and electrical items in the garden.
Perhaps car parts too .

@AlCalavicci

I have not been into my garden since the start of this thread , so I win some kind of good neighbour award ?

I have a house cat but so he can get some fresh air can I peg him ( using matching pegs of course ) to the washing line as ling as he has got a pair of speedos on to cover his modesty ?

That's OK so long as you don't leave him over night. And wooden pegs, not plastic.

@AlCalavicci

Your cat is in mine !

@Originalyellowbelly

I have just been sitting in my garden, well, whats left of it. I sat on the grass carefully avoiding the bee friendly weeds, I didn't listen to any music, speak to my cats, looked in the neighbours direction, cook anything, or even breathe loudly. I would never hang my underwear outside, my knickers would serve as one of those sunshade things that would block the light off the whole village and my bras would have pigeons nesting in for life with about 5 generations.

But, I can sleep safely tonight knowing I can't possibly upset anyone. Or can I?

Sitting on the grass? There's a whole eco-system under your arse and you are DESTROYING it. Do not go in the garden at all if you care about saving the planet. 😩

Don’t have any tree like our mature beech that we’re only allowed to thin slightly - with permission - because squirrels will very noisily eat the beech mast and even more noisily drop shells on NDN’s decking, both of which piss them off.

Don't put baskets on your side of the fence. Your arsehole NDN will complain that the flowers are attracting bees and she could see them.

@Terryscombover

Don't put baskets on your side of the fence. Your arsehole NDN will complain that the flowers are attracting bees and she could see them.

Or the bees are stealing pollen from HER flowers.

[quote Sweetpea1532]@AlCalavicci
I knew I liked you for a reason! I love cats!!!
Yours must be very special to walk on a lead...photo please of your cat in the garden on a lead, pretty please![/quote]
@vodkaredbullgirl Ah perfect solution , thank you .

@Sweetpea1532 , I will try to up load one later today

@AnneKipanki Ha Ha it looks like your kitty is in a giant spider web . #Spider cat spider cat dose what ever a spider can#

Should you have a kitchen fire ( as I recently did) leave your house to burn down and rush to your neighbors house to warn them to get their washing in before the smoke gets to it.

Don’t take time to ring the fire brigade or warn the rest of your family as your neibours washing is more important after all it has been pegged out with colour coordinated pegs and all underwear has safely been hidden behind the t shirts.

Does ffs !

I know what you meant Al

Perform musical numbers from your favourite shows .
Hire a carousel.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=x_MSi0MhM_c

😂😂😂

And please please please don't hang your underwear on the line. You may embarrass an elderly neighbour! :-)

Definitely not . Use a flagpole .
imgflip.com/i/21j5sa

I not only hang my knickers on the line, I mow the lawn topless on a sunny day.

Will it be the stocks or the ducking stool?😂

Am I allowed to snooze on the fake rattan settee in my garden?

Actually gardening is racist according to some Burn Loot and Murder marxist. You see in the older days rich slave owners have big expensive houses with gardens and could afford to have flowers instead of vegetables. So in cultivating pretty flowers you are promoting subjection, slavery and are an over privileged middle class poo poo head (according to some marxist wackadoodle) .

@AnneKipanki 😂
Gosh, Olivia Newton John and John Travolta have gotten a bit older since their last performance of that song....although I have to admit they have aged well 😂

@TwoZeroTwoZero

Am I allowed to snooze on the fake rattan settee in my garden?

Dear god no, what if you snored?!

Wait! What? @AnneKipanki! I have a 10 metre flagpole in my garden and you're telling me I can't run my bloomers up it to get them properly aired?! What fresh Hell is this?!

Hot tubs!

@AlCalavicci..still waiting for that cat-attached-to-the-washing-line photo! Speed it up, for goodness sake..not like you could possibly have anything more important to do today, is it?
And get said cat off AK's umbrella clothes line..how rude!

Flag pole frillies are allowed @Sweetpea1532

Ok, AK, but if any auto accidents are caused by my frilly display, I'm giving the drivers your info for compensation!