Just checking what I can actually do in my garden

[Originalyellowbelly]

Obviously not BBQ, fire pit, children, tree houses, pools, climbing frames, footballs, bonfires, low fences, music, parties,DIY , lawn mowing, extensions, cats, dogs, have I missed anything? Wouldn't want to piss off anyone within 50 miles of me.

We all know the darked on and spider willies washing rules, but I can't believe don't talk about the most important rule of all. Bras and pants MUST be hung on the inside bit of the washing hanger thereby creating a modesty wall of shirts incase the neighbours happen to look over. I've said my piece.

Just read another thread, you may consider sharing your garden with the neighbours

My elderly neighbours huge white cotton boxers bring me so much joy. I hope he never stops hanging them out. They’re sooo white he must boil them.

@CatBumJuice

We all know the darked on and spider willies washing rules, but I can't believe don't talk about the most important rule of all. Bras and pants MUST be hung on the inside bit of the washing hanger thereby creating a modesty wall of shirts incase the neighbours happen to look over. I've said my piece.

We don't talk about it because those items should be dried indoors. My mother would shudder at the very thought, that is what an airing cupboard is for.

Don't let you cat sit on the fence or the wall, as it makes the dog bark next door.. happened to me once some while ago.. Hard luck, I have three cats !!

You must not step foot in your back garden!!! It ruins your neighbours’ enjoyment of theirs. If you do have to go out there, be quick, silent and invisible.

Cattitudes, I'm so embarrassed.

@Ellpellwood

And for god's sake, don't pave or astroturf it for sake of the environment!!!1!!!!11!

No, don't get astroturf. Seriously, don't!!

But don't grow plants either, someone might be allergic...

I have just been sitting in my garden, well, whats left of it. I sat on the grass carefully avoiding the bee friendly weeds, I didn't listen to any music, speak to my cats, looked in the neighbours direction, cook anything, or even breathe loudly. I would never hang my underwear outside, my knickers would serve as one of those sunshade things that would block the light off the whole village and my bras would have pigeons nesting in for life with about 5 generations.

But, I can sleep safely tonight knowing I can't possibly upset anyone. Or can I?

@Originalyellowbelly

It's no wonder none of my neighbours speak to me.

The ideal neighbour! I always feel pressure to be friendly. Would much rather we all just politely ignored each other.

@Originalyellowbelly

I have just been sitting in my garden, well, whats left of it. I sat on the grass carefully avoiding the bee friendly weeds, I didn't listen to any music, speak to my cats, looked in the neighbours direction, cook anything, or even breathe loudly. I would never hang my underwear outside, my knickers would serve as one of those sunshade things that would block the light off the whole village and my bras would have pigeons nesting in for life with about 5 generations.

But, I can sleep safely tonight knowing I can't possibly upset anyone. Or can I?

I don’t know, could your sitting be considered lurking? A neighbour might poke from behind their net curtain and spot you and your clearly dubious ways.

@Originalyellowbelly

I have just been sitting in my garden, well, whats left of it. I sat on the grass carefully avoiding the bee friendly weeds, I didn't listen to any music, speak to my cats, looked in the neighbours direction, cook anything, or even breathe loudly. I would never hang my underwear outside, my knickers would serve as one of those sunshade things that would block the light off the whole village and my bras would have pigeons nesting in for life with about 5 generations.

But, I can sleep safely tonight knowing I can't possibly upset anyone. Or can I?

Stop virtue signalling. It's so smug.

@HermioneGrunger

Smoke, you can't smoke in your own garden.

Wind chimes, these are banned.

I HAD to speak to our new neighbour about their wind chime, I have no idea how anybody could listen to it all day (and night!) and not go completely mad.

I could still hear it with all the windows and doors shut.

Other than that, crack on in your own garden!

It does make me giggle to myself.. Haven't these people got anything better to do

I don't think we can allow you to have a garden, it might make people who don't have gardens jealous. Also, gardeners are a no no, unless they are over 70 and wear tweed suits. You are absolutely NOT allowed a young , fit, muscular type who takes his shirt off to mow the lawn. No way should you be so selfish.

@Originalyellowbelly

Your description of your "small things" deserves a comedic Award...as does this thread!
I'm going to nominate it for classics 😂😂😂😂

@Originalyellowbelly

I have just been sitting in my garden, well, whats left of it. I sat on the grass carefully avoiding the bee friendly weeds, I didn't listen to any music, speak to my cats, looked in the neighbours direction, cook anything, or even breathe loudly. I would never hang my underwear outside, my knickers would serve as one of those sunshade things that would block the light off the whole village and my bras would have pigeons nesting in for life with about 5 generations.

But, I can sleep safely tonight knowing I can't possibly upset anyone. Or can I?

Well you're lovely aren't you? You do realise that some people don't have gardens? Or pants for that matter. How do you think they feel to see you and your pants enjoying outdoor space when they have none? Maybe a bit of consideration....?

Well I've been a good neighbour today, cut my grass back and front, washed my windows and power washed my car. Tried to do it quietly but didnt work. Going to do the housework about 11 pm, as I'm too hot and knackered now.

Wind chimes come tomorrow and some more garden lights. The garden is only part runway.

I'm guessing there are certain rules you think should be adhered to, just not garden related

@Sweetpea1532 thank you, I can now revel in my smugness

You all forgot bouncy castles!!!

These posts make me so glad of my neighbour, on Sunday before the England game we had a bbq, with paddling pool, flags and a rousing rendition of world in motion....thankfully she popped her head over the fence to sing the John Barnes bit!

Was going to say - definitely don't water the fence

I think you should make friends with the lady down the far end . Put a zip line up .

I’ve just learnt from another current thread that 3 BBQs in 36 hours will earn you neighbour from hell status even if you’ve just moved in and have no functioning cooker.