What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

I agree with every single one of these. Urgh, they're all total cringe.

Proper romance is getting an unexpected cup of tea brought to you, or a surprise jam doughnut/nice bar of chocolate brought home from the shops, IMHO.

Foot rubs. Just no!

@HelloMissus

Bloody rose petals scattered on a table/bed.

@HelloMissus

I went to a joint 50th and the husband sang ‘It Had To Be You’ to his wife in front of us all. I nearly died for her. Honestly, I was considering breaking the glass on the fire alarm.

Nothing to add that hasn’t been said already but this made me laugh for about 5 minutes. Really cheered me up so thank you!

Love Letters.

@EvelynSalt

Extensive eye contact during sex, particularly missionary. In the films it looks romantic and passionate. In reality I end up trying to make banal conversation ("all good? What's up?" being common) because I feel weird just staring quietly at each other. Awkward!

OMG yes! I thought it was just me - if someone was gazing into my eyes too long I invariably had to make a glib comment. I could usually tell if they were a keeper from their response to that though!

And yes any sort of cuddly spoony sleeping. I can't sleep if someone is touching me!

Breakfast in bed. I’m an early riser, I don’t want to be staring at the ceiling till half eleven while you fuck about.
Bathing and showering together
Massage, it’s my feet that are sore not my tits
Sleeping cuddled up, get off me.

Sex on a beach (sand) /breakfast in bed (crumbs)

This is not the friction I'm looking for

Eating off each others fork especially when in public. Had couple of friends who used to do this, it was mortifying.

Proper romance is getting an unexpected cup of tea brought to you, or a surprise jam doughnut/nice bar of chocolate brought home from the shops, IMHO.

Agree with this. DP brings me some Manchester Tart from a specific bakers when he’s working near there and it’s as good as a dozen roses for me 😋 (greedy cow).

@Sunshineandflipflops

Grand gestures in general. I find them awkward and embarrassing. Examples being social media declarations (just tell me to my face), big, grand proposals (I cringe when I see other people's, let alone mine...my exh proposed in our old living room with a birthday cake and it was perfect, even if he wasn't in the end), flash mob type things, surprise parties....nope, nope, nope. I don't like being the centre of attention and would NOT find it remotely romantic!

Me too. I even find the couple’s first dance at weddings a bit cringy to be honest. We got married 30 years ago and didn’t have an evening do so didn’t have to do one. The only exception was when the couple went on the dance floor and then started bouncing around to Madness and everyone joined in!

Most things. It's all contrived nonsense

God, I think I’d have cringed myself to death at being sung to like that. I can feel my bum cheeks clenching now.

I was going to say massages and sharing a bath - hate both

Moonlit walks on the beach - sand!

Cuddling in bed - get off me! Too many arms, no where to put them.

Valentine's Day. Dozens of couples squashed into rows of tables in a restaurant, all desperate to look 'in love' over their set menu and fake carnation.

No thanks! So much cringe.

I totally agree that the unexpected cup of tea is the height of romance

Valentine's Day, food in bed, and people singing to me. Also baths.

Romance is overrated.

@JaneJeffer

Spooning in bed. Stop breathing in my ear and fuck off to your own side.

This is an instant classics thread btw, nice one OP!

I don't mind baths but showering together is the worst. Someone is always out of the water and cold, it's slippy, I've got water in my eyes, am I supposed to be washing myself? Ugh.

Slow dancing or just dancing together in general. Let my limbs be free!

Not 'romantic' but supposedly passionate - kisses with tongue. So gross.

Oh and I have never once in my life been able to fall asleep cuddled up. I'm a massive fidget and find it so irritating.

Strawberries and cream in a hotel room. It was hot so the strawberries wizened up and the squirty cream gave me stomach cramps

no way would chocolate body paint be allowed on my john lewis sheets, I savved ages to upgrade from dunelm!

as to sharing a bath, no no no, I HATE wet hands touching me, ugghgh, gives me the shudders

and we have friends who do the whole, 'love my hubby so much, happy bithday darling' shit on sm, just give him a card ffs, we dont care how much you love each other.

A few years ago me and DH went to a shared mud spa thingy that a friend recommended. Basically you get shut in an overheated room naked and smear eachother in mud. DH thought it would be funny to throw some at me which hit me in the face and some went in my eye which was very painful. Then we did try to rub mud on eachother in a sexy way but it was just awful and gritty and the room was too hot and we got mud in places where it’s just unhygienic frankly. We were both very dirty but not in a good way.
We washed it all off and left early.

Oh the ‘let me wash your hair’ thing!
I had an ex who wanted to wash my hair as I sat in a bath. He also wanted to wash me. It total freaked me out . I let him di it ince and I felt quite degraded. He was then upset that I felt this way and I should be happy he wanted to do this 'for me'
Also he used to kiss me lightly on he forehead. Once was nice but he did it all the time it creeped me out.
I had to get shut of him quickly!
Now if I see a young couple and the guy kisses his girl on the forehead I get goosebumps and the hairs on my arm stand up!

I’ve found my people
Agree with every single one of these

Tagging your live in partner in ‘romantic’ getaway posts
‘Imagine us here’

Just show them whilst they are sitting next to you on the sofa