What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

Baths together. Gross. And squashy

Ha, I had a very public proposal and we lasted, but I know what you mean! Mine was doubly public because it was over a microphone...

Massages- don't pretend you're doing this for me when you're doing it to get sex.

My ex was awful for this, I remember once I was practically dying from flu and he was obviously feeling hard done by. He ran me a bath, afterwards I came back to a bedroom filled with candles and half undressed ex saying he was going to give me a massage. I told him he was having a laugh and went to sleep.

Dh washes my hair and I find it lovely . To be fair be I do have a disability which is why he does it.

Romantic picnics are overrated.

I watched this really big American family on TV years ago. The programme was about the Duggars. They were religious and ended up having 19 children. When their eldest son got married he sang this really awful "loyalty song" to his wife. His dad claimed it was every woman's dream for their husband to sing to them on their wedding day. Not sure how yet worked that one out. The son was involved in a big cheating scandal a few years later.

Being given flowers.... I always end up feeling guilty that I haven't looked after them properly/ arranged them nicely enough.

Continuing the singing stuff, I was at a do with an ex who started singing along to 'I've been waiting for a girl like you..' By Foreigner or whoever.
I could have died.

I agree sharing a bath/shower, flowere and massage.

Intense eye contact and "I love you"s during sex.

Personally, having someone else cook for me. I'm a pretty good cook and I like what I like. It really stresses me out when someone else cooks 😭

Any Valentines soft toy with cringy message of lurve... I'm a grown woman! or fake roses you're expected to be delighted by when he is forced to buy you one in a pub

Having your partner's arm around you as you try to sleep. Get off me!

Oh I had an ex who sang for me a lot. And then my bloody Christmas present was a CD of him blooding well singing.

My ex used to sing Van Halen brown eyed girl to me and I used to love it, we used to dance about together while he sang was just fun though not some drippy serenade.

I went to a joint 50th and the husband sang ‘It Had To Be You’ to his wife in front of us all.
I nearly died for her.
Honestly, I was considering breaking the glass on the fire alarm.

Sleeping in each others arms! Can’t bear to be touched when I am sleeping!

I like it when DH plays the piano for me, but he’s very good and only if I put a request in!

@HelloMissus

I went to a joint 50th and the husband sang ‘It Had To Be You’ to his wife in front of us all. I nearly died for her. Honestly, I was considering breaking the glass on the fire alarm.

roses

Meh.. Van Halen, Van Morrison.. virtually interchangeable Foodisascience

Your DH to be asking your parents (or even worse - just your Dad) for their permission/ blessing to allow him to ask you to marry him. That's not romantic - that's the patriarchy in action.

Anything hot and/or steamy. Similar to sharing a bath, so jacuzzis, saunas etc.

So gross and sweaty. Could anything make being touched less appealing. All leave me resembling a heated glacé cherry.

Also think my DH gets emasculated by how flustered it makes him.

Grand gestures in general. I find them awkward and embarrassing. Examples being social media declarations (just tell me to my face), big, grand proposals (I cringe when I see other people's, let alone mine...my exh proposed in our old living room with a birthday cake and it was perfect, even if he wasn't in the end), flash mob type things, surprise parties....nope, nope, nope. I don't like being the centre of attention and would NOT find it remotely romantic!

Outdoor sex, especially standing up against a tree/wall.

Anywhere outdoors is awful. Insect bites, it's cold, dirt and sand everywhere.

In fact I'm not up for anywhere other than a bed at my age.

@ShirleyPhallus

Sharing a bath. Like sharing a bath with a baby hippo with my husband.

Oysters. Like swallowing semen.

An ex used to serenade me too. Nothing is more awkward than looking in to the eyes of someone who is playing a guitar and singing to you. I get the same feeling from looking a dog in the eyes when it’s doing a poo.

I don’t mind sharing a shower or a bath, but don’t ever ever look into my eyes and sing to me 🤢

Valentine's Day!!

Chocolate body paint. Just NO. Sticky and doesn't taste nice because it's cheap crap and makes a terrible mess of the sheets, which look positively skid mark tastic!

Being read the Prophet by Khalil Gibran by a lad with a very wide Croydon accent. He was very serious with lots of meaningful eye contact.