What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

Flowers. Thanks, glad I get to carry these around for the rest of the date like a cunt.

Yes! All of these but particularly the massage with the expectation of sex. I love a good massage, but can't relax if I know sex is the inevitable destination. Would rather pay for a professional massage so I can enjoy it properly.

Oh yes, I love flowers, but told my husband before we got married if he ever sent me Valentine's flowers at work I would divorce him. Our 25th wedding anniversary is this year, and I still reckon the most romantic thing he does for me is buy me random unusual cheeses when he passes the nice cheese shop.

It just looks like you’ve smeared each other in shit.

😂 Exactly, eww and surely it’s sticky?!

I have found my people

Going out for dinner supposed to be followed by sex at home - if I’ve just had a 3-course meal with a bottle of wine you’ll be lucky if I don’t fall asleep on the bus home and anyway, last time I feel sexy is when stuffed full!

I like the food part and the sex part, just not consecutively.

Sex in “difficult” places - in water, standing up, on a beach, in front of an open fire. No. Beds exist for good, sensible reasons.

Wanting to hold hands a lot. In particular not letting go when it’s clear that the other person has had enough.

I used to go out with someone who would go on about how much he didn’t fancy other women. That was just strange and creepy.

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

Anything that makes a mess that I'll be expected to clean up later... flowers, food in bed, special dinners that leave the kitchen a bombsite etc Much rather get a pot plant and a takeaway! Oh and expensive gifts that I'll be expected to reciprocate when its their turn (is that mean?).

@Hoppinggreen

A few years ago me and DH went to a shared mud spa thingy that a friend recommended. Basically you get shut in an overheated room naked and smear eachother in mud. DH thought it would be funny to throw some at me which hit me in the face and some went in my eye which was very painful. Then we did try to rub mud on eachother in a sexy way but it was just awful and gritty and the room was too hot and we got mud in places where it’s just unhygienic frankly. We were both very dirty but not in a good way. We washed it all off and left early.

Either you did this wrong or we did! Same mud spa but we just put our own mud on ourselves, sat down and had a chat then showered it off when time was up. I didn’t realise if was supposed of be a sexy couples thing

Is Van Haley a car owned by someone from Corrie?
I'll get me coat...

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

That's brilliant

Ah, thank god some people are as undemonstrative as me.

Agree with everything you've all said.

Thankfully my husband is as unromantic (normal) as me so I don't get these antics from him

BUT when we want on a 6 week honeymoon around South East Asia we did use the honeymoon card to try to blag upgrades.

It did work but also meant we were subjected to some cringey romance by proxy from hotel staff ... rose petals everywhere, being sung AT in a crowded dining room, being ferried off to the honeymoon table (which was just a table in another room when all the other fun was happening in the main restaurant)

So, we learned our lesson!!

Romantic dinners. It's lovely and everything but you're usually so stuffed afterwards all you want to do is go home and sleep, rather than the expected rampant snagging.

After reading your title, sharing a bath came straight to mind. I can see I'm far from alone haha! Its nothing like they make it out to be in the films is it

I remember a video clip of a wedding where either the bride or groom serenaded the other, during the ceremony. It just seemed to go on and on, and I remember thinking where are you supposed to look, (as the one being serenaded) or how are you supposed to react!

Another one for sharing a bath and Paris. Ugh to both.

Disagree about the singing though. My DH once memorised the whole of American Pie (a favourite at the time) and sang it to me acapella. I was well impressed!

Christ, DP and I love all of this. Baths together, holding hands, he buys me flowers regularly, always writing each other soppy cards, always hugging. We don't live together but I think we would be the same if we were not.

Those large padded cards that come in a box - cringe!

Properly lol-ed at being whisked... to Doncaster.

Flowers. It's just another thing I have to look after. You have to cut an inch off the stems, remove excess foliage, find a non-dusty vase... then throw them in the compost bin when they go manky. I like the ones that come from the florist in their own wells of water.

Any sex games. Cringe. Just get on with it.

Sex in the shower or other uncomfortable locations or positions. A nice comfy bed with a good amount of bounce please.

Shower sex.

I quite like beach sex though

The ones about guitar strumming Romeos reminds me of a couple I used to know. He played the flute while she gave birth. Can you imagine? They broke up soon after.

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

Probably something he saw on a really bad tv programme / movie and thought it looked good.

He would take me to the train (okay) and then bloody run after it as it set off. I was meant to wave madly and find it romantic. Ugh

omg

"Then we did try to rub mud on each other in a sexy way but it was just awful and gritty and the room was too hot and we got mud in places where it’s just unhygienic frankly. We were both very dirty but not in a good way. We washed it all off and left early*

This killed me! So British!