What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

@LaceyBetty

A new boyfriend in my twenties once said he wanted me to fall asleep in his arms so he could carry me up to bed and watch me sleep all night. Cringy and creepy.

This genuinely made my vagina clamp up.

So cringy

Oooh we love sharing a bath or shower. We have a really big bath though.

If someone serenaded me I’d die on the spot of embarrassment.

I told my fiancée that if he proposed to me in public I’d never speak to him again.

@TheVamoosh

Sex that's completely focused on my experience and my pleasure. Like a full body massage followed by oral for hours. If I just wanted to relax and have an orgasm, I would just take a bath and masturbate.

This is my favourite response 😂😂😂

Rose petals, just makes a mess

Love letters. Yuck.

Public proposals.

Maybe, actually, just proposals.

Talk about it like adults!

Yes public proposals seconded.

Big public displays of affection, I think they're often more about the ego of the person doing them than the love for the person they are aimed at.

Came on to say sharing a bath! But since that's been taken, I'll say that dinner on a first date is more awkward than romantic.

Public marriage proposals. Coercive and narcissistic!

Breakfast in bed. Crumbs everywhere.

Thought of another one.

Kissing the back of my hand - like I'm the queen or something.

I know its not always romantic and it classed as "gentlemanly", but I cannot stand someone raising my hand and kissing it.

I had this one guy I was dating that gave me the 'ick' every time he attempted to be romantic. He once sang James Blunts You are beautiful to me. It was fucking terrible and I was mortified. He also hid a love note in my handbag once, I read half of it and binned it and pretend that hadn't found it when he later asked what I'd thought about it. Last straw was when I was on holiday with my family and he sent me a multiple messages and voice notes spewing horrifically cheesy verbal diarrhea. Ended things shortly after. Still cringe to this day 😂😂

Cuddling in bed! After two minutes his big boney arm is annoying me!

All of the above.

Sex when you’re TTC after several months - oh god, I’m ovulating, just chuck some sperm up me quickly so I can go to sleep
(vs the dreamy, eyes locked ‘let’s make a baby’ b*llocks).

Sleeping naked all cuddled up. Nope! Uncomfortable, hot and sticky. After a while you have to peel yourself off the other person. And I never know where to put my arm!

just chuck some sperm up me quickly so I can go to sleep

😂

@CounsellorTroi

Yes public proposals seconded.

Really cring worthy and so try hard look at us...... do these relationships last 🤔 probably share every bloody thing that they do on social media too

I’m going to add winning a soft toy at the the fair. Embarrassing display of him trying to pop balloons with a dart, failing miserably, throwing a strop that it was ‘fixed’ and the vendor handing me a cheap tiny bear keyring as a consolation prize. I don’t even like sift toys, I’d have been horrified to have to take home a 4ft tall rabbit.

Spooning in bed. Stop breathing in my ear and fuck off to your own side.

All of the above.

Also, any conflation of food and sex; you know, like licking whipped cream off each other or whatever. Gross, sticky, eventually smelly... no thanks.

@Sparklyboots

Haha this is so me that my friends send me pictures of men playing guitars to troll me. I had several boyfriends of this type and was always painfully wondering how many I'd have to listen to before we could have sex. If you move too early you let slip how utterly uninterested you are in their "music" and too late and you are just too bored to get your knickers off. Bane of my 20s

Maybe not so much romantic but sex in the shower. It's the worst.

Extensive eye contact during sex, particularly missionary. In the films it looks romantic and passionate. In reality I end up trying to make banal conversation ("all good? What's up?" being common) because I feel weird just staring quietly at each other. Awkward!

@Sparrowfeeder TOTALLY get where you’re coming from on that one. A hungover me on Boxing Day last year shaking DH awake in my fertile window saying ‘we need to have sex, I’ve got that cervical mucus that going on’