What is supposed to be romantic, but just bloody isn’t?

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

A Semisonic song just came on the radio and brought me back to when I was 18, and the slightly-hippy lovely guy I was seeing at the time used to play this on his guitar and sing to me. The whole song, then another song after it. Sometimes another one after that. I’d sort of sit on the bed or hover in front of him while he played his little concert just for me and smile along, but I found it excruciating. If he didn’t want to kiss me he wanted to be singing to me. It was so boring and I never knew how I was supposed to be reacting.

I couldn’t hack it so we didn’t last, and my friend was horrified and said what a lovely romantic thing that was that he did and how awful I was for ending it 😂

Has anyone got any ‘romantic’ things to add that were just a bit boring/awkward?

I hate that people kick off about staff not speaking English

This isn't a Paris thing... a lot of English people expect the entire world to speak fluent English.

@Embracingthechaos

I hate that people kick off about staff not speaking English

This isn't a Paris thing... a lot of English people expect the entire world to speak fluent English.

English is not my first language. I do expect people who work in tourist places to have a grasp of English. I'm from Portugal and most people of working age do know a little English and most waiters will know enough. These days, even shop keepers and supermarket workers, probably. Then we get the French tourists, who seem to expect people to speak French here. I used to commute through a tourist hub (pre-COVID), and I had beginning to consider charging them for directions. The Spanish get away with it. All other tourists will approach you in English. Even Italians. Like it or not, English IS the main international language.

@Sweetpea1532 I have flowers in my garden almost all year long...DH would still buy me flowers...after several fake smiles and " oh how thoughtful" I finally told him to please not bring me flowers from a shop...just go outside and pick me some....after DH did it several more times he finally confessed that HE liked them.

I've bought my DH flowers a few times over the years because he loves a massive bunch of lilies that fill the house with that heady smell. I'm not too fussed, but it makes him happy. When we have our own garden, I'm going to buy him 1000 lily bulbs and tell him to go mad.

@PerspicaciousGreen
What a brill idea!🤣

'Oysters. Like swallowing semen.

An ex used to serenade me too. Nothing is more awkward than looking in to the eyes of someone who is playing a guitar and singing to you. I get the same feeling from looking a dog in the eyes when it’s doing a poo.'

This just cracked me up, my eyes are watering lol

I’ve loved this thread.

I also love oysters.

I too love oysters tried them on holiday from a stall seller.

The one oyster I had nearly bounced straight back up - it was a textural issue, primarily, and one I never wish to repeat.
I like other shellfish, but only cooked. If they're too squishy, nah, not happening.
You can also keep jellied eels - another big no-no.

For those who don't like oysters, if you ever see them cooked they're completely different. I had them on Kerrera, lightly grilled with garlic cream & parmesan and they were gorgeous, I'm not a big fan of them raw either.x

Yes, I could probably eat it cooked - it's the texture of the raw ones that does for me, can't handle it at all.

Oysters are lovely deep fried in a Chinese Restaurant

Never had an oyster raw or otherwise. Can't imagine I'd like it raw but deep fried sounds nice.

@Hoppinggreen

Oysters are lovely deep fried in a Chinese Restaurant

But can you eat a whole restaurant in one go?

Thank you so much to all who posted on this. I've been dipping into it for the past few days when I've had a moment and it has made me laugh so much. Definitely a contender for classics surely? @MNHQ

Morning, everyone! We're moving this over to Classics now.

Yay! Thanks @HebeMumsnet, great decision!

Sex in the shower - esp if the guy is much taller than you. water in your face is not romantic and unless you have the biggest shower its squishy. plus fear of slipping

Glad to see this thread made it to classics!

I got married in a register office with just two witnesses precisely because I couldn't bear the thought of folk watching me walk down the aisle, the first dance etc, the thought honestly makes my insides shrivel so it's probably fairly obvious I share the feelings of most posters on this thread Nice to know I'm not alone.

Sudden, out of the blue declarations of love.

In films, this is usually a wonderful funny yet sincere, heartfelt speech delivered by someone gorgeous, preferably Mr Darcy, at sunrise in a beautiful setting.

In reality it’s creepy Kevin from the corner shop who you’ve exchanged “hellos” with for a few months who turns up on your doorstep at 2am clutching a kebab in one sweaty hand and starts shouting he loves you.

@Weirdfan We also did the register office wedding, with two witnesses, grabbed from the street.
I think the most 'Romantic' aspect was some Japanese tourists doing the whole sightseeing thing and getting very excited taking photos of us on the steps of Kensington and Chelsea register office.

Years ago in a restaurant in Dingle in Eire there was some American guy reading Joyce to his date in this fake Irish/American accent.

Ex Dh and l had to leave. It was painful.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow - If you're going to type the rest of the comment/post in English, you can just write "Dingle in Ireland".
The way that you've written "Eire" it means burden, however Éire is the way to say the country Ireland in Irish.
We wouldn't say "Swansea in Cymru", we would say "Swansea in Wales", fair enough?? No hard feelings.

Write Ireland for the state, unless it is strictly necessary to distinguish from Northern Ireland (for example matters of government and law) in which case write Republic of Ireland. For Ireland plus Northern Ireland write 'the island of Ireland'.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Names_of_the_Irish_state

Eh? I’ll say what l want.

I was just having a brain fart during that post.

Eire? Ireland? Does it really matter?